My situation was similar in that the doctor carrying out my lletz said he didn't think it was cancer, so it was a huge shock when I got the results. You do drive yourself mad with worry and googling things but to be honest I have found out all my info from researching online and looking at websites like this one because they don't tell you much at the diagnosis! I've been having good days and bad, I'm fine when I'm kept busy and when I'm around other people but don't really like being on my own, but it has got easier in the last week or so.
I know how you are all feeling too. I got my diagnosies 6 weeks ago and the waiting weeks 2for diangnois/staging is the worst...then the 6 weeks wait for treatment to start....and I have started this week with my first weekly round of chemo monday also radiotheraphy mon-fri...3rd session this aftermoon...finally feeling like I am doing something to kick this cancer butt!! x
Hi Everyone .I am ashamed to say I have been having a down day today .Why is it that people always seem to kick you when your down? I have always tried to help everyone .yet these are the people who are saying ."Pull yourself together it can't be that bad or they would have taken you in right away " .How would they know and anyway its OK for them.they are not going through what we are going through.Its easy to say .I will be fine but very hard at night when on your own and your mind will NOT go to sleep.I have been very proud of the way I have been dealing with things up to now.But I must say this has really knocked me back.Thank goodness I have here to come to or I think I would give up .I just come on here and read what everyone has put and then I think "Stop it" .your friends on here are going through the same thing as you are .yet they are not feeling sorry for themselves " Thank You my true friends .I hate to think where I would be now had I not found you .
Gee
xxxxx
Did someone really say that??? I cannot believe how thoughtless that was. Oh dear. I do hope that you retorted and let them know it wasn't on!
You're right thought, people just don't understand, they can't until been there. I've just been out with some of the girls from work for one last time before Mondays op, and they have all been very lovely and supportive but they just can't put themselves where I am, where all us ladies are at the moment. In a few months time though we shall hopefully be able to reflect on this time and think "yes, I did it, got through that and here to tell the tale".
So put a funny film on, find something chocolatey to eat, put your most snugly pjs on and cuddle up on the sofa. That's what I'm gonna do now as hubbie on nights this week and daughter in bed. Tomorrow is another day x Don
You're all so right, people try to understand but they can't unless they've been there. My mum had breast cancer and we were all so supportive and understanding but only now am I truly understanding how she felt and why she felt it. People can be so insensitive without even realising. xx
Hi Gee
Hope you managed to switch off a bit last night and get some sleep. I've had similar comments myself and it is so upsetting. Where normally I would give a good reply I couldn't manage it as I wasn't feeling as strong as usual. They don't understand what we are going through and many of them just don't know what to say so just say the first thing that comes into their head.
Must admit my best bits at the moment are watching comedy dramas on tv where I can manage to put it to the back of my mind for a short while, so that is good advice from Dons.
A friend bought me a relaxation CD which has a meditation bit at the beginning and I must admit it has really helped. It talks you through visualisation and I did feel calmer afterwards for a while. Guess the trick is then to re-do it whenever it is needed.
Like you, I've found my new found friends on here invaluable and turn to them when I need support. We'll all get through this together.
Sending you lots of hugs.
Cheryl,xx
Good luck with your appointment! It is getting a bit better with time as you say, I guess once the mind and body are completely exhausted of worrying and researching, and all the tests are done and treatment is established - things are starting to get a bit better. I had my examination under general anaesthetic on Tuesday and it didn't result in more scary news. Have my both scans (CT and MRI) tomorrow, still worry a lot and occasionally keep taking Diazepam to sleep and continue eating, but hopefully next week the full picture will be clear and I will stop panicking every time my phone rings with "blocked" number from a hospital. And I must admit I was very impressed with how nice and professional nurses and doctors were on Tuesday - I almost enjoyed the experience :)
Jelena xxx
Kingy 70,
You are so brave! Please show this cancer no mercy!
Jelena xx
33 years || 31/08/2013 LLETS following abnormal SMEAR test || 09/09/2013 - diagnosed with cc || 17/09/09 - examination under general anaesthetic || 20/09/09 CT and MRI scans
Tank 86,
You are so right. My mom had an ovarian cancer of a very advanced stage and still managed to survive for 6 years - she was such a strong and brave woman. I was supportive but never truly understood how she felt. Only now going through same experience myself I can relate to every single word she said and I wish I could return back time and be more helpful :( People don't understand and some of them are cruel. It is very upsetting when they suggest that you should just accept, relax and enjoy every second or to be in a better control of your emotions as they have no idea how it feels. I was particularly upset with my best friend who didn’t show much sympathy and seems to be really annoyed with me feeling emotional and wanting to share these emotions. So I do agree that it is a blessing to have an opportunity to share with people who truly understand and try to support. Thank you all, brave ladies, for supporting each other!
Regards, Jelena xxx
Hi Everyone .
Well I had my MRI today and all went very well I took a CD.a photo of my late husband and a Teddy Bear with my husbands nick name on ,that a friend had made as a good luck charm for me the CD was played for me and my things with put on a chair right by me where I could see them at all times ,the nurses were "FANTASTIC" FAIR PLAY.It took a bit longer than they thought .one hour instead of 40 mins .but it only seemed like 10 mins to me .They said I may feel dizzy or a little unwell later but not to worry it the stuff they injected into me and it would wear off,if it didn't to go back .I was OK at first felt great .but after an hour I felt lifeless .so I just lay dow on my settee and dozed off and on all day .I am now off to bed because I think I will be fine in the morning .after a good nights sleep .so tierd now no sleep last night .So Good Night people and anyone going for MRI DON'T worry its nothing not at all what people had told me .Speak soon my dear friendS
Love
Gee
xxx
Im so so pleased all went wll for u today after all that worry!! Good on you xxx see u can do this!
Keep smiling. Enjoy the rest of ur week Dons x
Hi Gee, that's brilliant news - and doesn't it make you feel stronger when something goes right! Hope you had a good nights sleep.
Cheryl,xx
Thank you Don & Cheryl.
The day before I went I found out that my Sons girlfriend had told at least eleven people that I have heard of.yet I said I wanted no one to know.I have not even told my family yet.I was gutted .I don't want my grandchildren to know age 12 & 10 years the older one knows .If she keeps telling people they ARE going to find out.Ah well the damage is done now .Need to worry about me and no one else right now (rant over )
Yes I did have a good nights sleep .but still feel very tired today .mind you I don't think the weather helps lots of rain here.Now comes the worse part I think ."The Wait" So I am going to go and see a lot of my friends that I have not seen in a long timeand have some fun enjoy my life.For tomorrow is another day .
Love to you all
Gee
xxx
Hi Gee!
I am so glad to hear you had a good experience with this scan - well done you!!! :) xx I had my CT and MRI scans last Friday and must admit that I got too emotional after the CT scan only because I felt as someone potentially sees how advance my cancer is but can't really tell me, so I started shaking and cried a bit :( managed to behave myself during the MRI scan though. Waiting is so tough.
Dons, Really hope your surgery goes well and we will hear from you very soon!!! xxx
Looks like its going to be another sleepless night for me .Had a reply off my MP Mr Ian Lucas today about the parking outside my house .they are still saying they will not put the "H" back for me.but I will fight them to the end and I have told them so .be it ten days ten months or ten years.At least this gives me something else to think about,I am so tired now all thelife seems to be drianing out of me.It makes me feel the hole world is against me.Then I come in here and read what others have put and I think.Stop moaning Gee,get out there and give them what for .don't take it lieing down .If it weren't for the people in here I really do think I would have given up by now.Thank you so much all of you.Don I pray you surgery goes well .we will all be think of you and hope to hear from you again very soon
Gee
xxx
All scans are clear!!!! Booked for vaginal radical trachilectomy and laparoscopic lymph node removal for 8th of October and as sad as it sounds feeling very excited about the surgery - at least some hope for now...
Dear ladies, could you please give any advice regarding this type of surgery: what to expect, what to take to hospital and how long it might potentially take to be able to stand on your feet and do simple things. I am very worried about the recovery time as I don't have any family left and live with my partner who works full time and might struggle to have enough time off to provide care. I took care of myself and others for so long - it is really difficult to imagine being unable to do simple things for a long period of time :( Thank you all in advance! xxxx Jelena
Had my date for results Friday 4th 0ct .Now I am starting to believe this IS happening to me.Never the less I am going to keep strong.Iwill get through this.Hospital said to go there for 11-15am for results then to go on at 1-30pm to have my pre Opps.so looks like I am going to have surgery I am thinking removal of the womb and tubes ect..Now I am looking at this to be a good thing ,as if there were no chance they would not go ahead with the surgery,Right .Now I live on my own and my family are unable to come here every day ,so like the Jelbor777.I too would lik to know could you please give any advice regarding this type of surgery: what to expect, what to take to hospital and how long it might potentially take to be able to stand on your feet. and do simple things .Thank you all for being there for me and Good Luck Jelbor777.
Gee
xxx
Gee-sweetie, Good luck to you too! xxx I do hope that everything will be fine for you. Let’s be strong together. It is a shame that there is no much support available for you too. I am going for my pre-assessment tomorrow, will ask them if it is possible to stay in hospital for a bit longer if needed. I am a bit scared about going home too early.
Jelena xxx
Hi JELJOR777
What time do you go for your pre-assessment tomorrow?If I know what time you are going I can say a little pray for you at that time.not that I am a religious person but I it just might help and it certainly. won't do any harm I have to be there for 11-15 am .I didn't sleep at all last night .Hope I get some sleep to night.Good Luck my friend lets hope we can get through this together . Right now I just want to get this done and get home and back to a normal life .Please let me know how you get on .
Regards
Gee
xxx
Good luck ladies. Fingers crossed...
I will look in tomorrow to see your next posts
xxx dons
