Hi ladies 
Met with my consultant today & he confirmed there was a 1cm area of cancer in the considerable part of my cervix he removed by LLETZ back on November 1st. He thinks he got it all.
Next step is an MRI to check for any more followed by what he thinks might be a radical hysterectomy.
Totally game for the hysterectomy, the waiting is the worst though.
Just turned 40 & donāt know what to think.
Hello
The waiting has definitely been the hardest part for me. I like being able to plan, Iām not that patient and Iām normally the one who takes charge of things, so itās been a tough few weeks so far.
I had an LLETZ in November and got the news in early December that it was cancer. I had an MRI and CT to confirm stage 1B and that it hadnāt spread. And yesterday I got my date for my hysterectomy so itās full steam ahead now. Itās only been a matter of weeks but itās done a bit of a number on my mental health.
My surgery is in a couple of weeks but Iām not too worried about the hysterectomy. Iām 34 and we dont want children so itās been easy to accept that side of things. But the lack of control and the timing being all out of my hands is tough - Iāve had a few wobbles around that.
I hope you get your scan soon and can start looking ahead. This forum has been great for positivity and youāre not alone in the journey xx
Hi CV26,
Thanks so much for your reply. You sound like me. I get things done & this waiting isnāt my style either. Iām sorry itās been tough on you. Have you found anything thatās helped distract you? Even for a little while?
I have two teenagers. Iād already grieved for not having more children a few years ago, had decided I wouldnāt have more after 35 so Iām okay with that side of things too.
Hopefully Iāll hear quickly about the scan. Iām already worried about the wait for those results. Can I ask, it mustāve been a relief when you heard it hadnāt spread, did you find an upturn in your mental health when you knew it was full steam ahead, did anything shift for you? Xx
The Christmas break was difficultā¦because we didnāt know how soon the surgery would be we cancelled a lot of things and really cut back on who we were seeing because of Covid. If Iād have known that the surgery would be further away I might have played it a little differently.
But over the break I tried to find a balance. I made sure I did at least one proper āthingā a day. Cleaning, baking, sorting out pets, crafting etc. Then I found I didnāt feel so guilty when I headed for the sofa to binge Netflix.
Iām back at work for half days this week - theyāve been really supportive and flexible so thatās helped a lot as Iāve been able to do what feels right for me. Iām going to have next week off and spend some time getting the house straight and clean before my surgery the following week.
Itās been a strange journey. It sounds odd but Iām not worried about the cancer. I feel like theyāve caught it early and they know what theyāre doing so Iāve been able to park other thoughts.
When they told me it was cancer they were already fairly confident it was 1B and said so at the appointment. I thought that if they were prepared to say it, they were probably right so the wait for results wasnāt too stressful in itself - but I knew the treatment was coming so I just wanted all the boxes ticked so we could get to the next hoop.
I slept better last night knowing I had a date. I feel Iāve got a little bit of control back as I can now make proper arrangements with work, pack my hospital bag etc.
Iām not sure I really believe it all to be honest. Im anticipating that I might have a bit more of a wobble in the immediate run up to the surgery when reality hits. Iāve never stayed overnight in hospital before so thatāll be an experience.
You sound like youāre doing really well, you really do. My husband said to me today that Iām doing really well, like you Iād been doing a āthingā and making use of Netflix over the break. Hadnāt seen many people either. Today particularly the wobbles have come on in waves so Iām letting them happen & letting them go. Iām keen for him to let it happen too.
I think I know what you mean about it being strange even though Iām a little behind you. I had my LLETZ & it was all quite reassuring, then today the same consultant said the cancer they had found was within the bit heād removed alreadyā¦ so I donāt know how to feel about that & wont til after the MRI to see if thereās more or not I suppose. I had an MRI last yr for an injury & my consultant has already contacted that radiographer from then & had him look over it again. He couldnāt see anything.
I am back to work after the break tomorrow. Donāt know how Iāll cope but itāll be a good distraction Iām sure. Iāll be like you & lose it a bit before I get to hospital. Iāve stayed in maternity but Iāve never had an operationā¦ 
xx
Hugs and good thoughts for both of us!
Definitely good to let yourself feel and get through the emotion. Iāve had a few proper sobbing sessions in the last few weeksā¦one was triggered because I was having trouble getting a refund for something and it all just felt so overwhelming at the time.
My husband has a good tip heās passed onto me to help manage worryā¦Tomorrow CV26. I keep telling myself that whatever the worry is I canāt do anything about it today / right now so itās Tomorrow CV26ās problem. It helps me move on when my brain is in a bit of a loop over something. Probably going to be using that a lot over the next few days.
Hope your first day back at work goes ok xx
Thank you 
Iām not looking forward to it at all but Iām going. Hopefully itāll keep me distracted and not be too overwhelming.
A good tip! And I know what you mean alreadyā¦ my husband looked at me earlier & I burst into tears 
all he did was turn around! Oh dear. Haha, I wonder what else will set us off?
I hope the time flies in for you now, do keep in touch & donāt hesitate to drop me a line whenever you like, good or bad, Iāll be here. Xx
Thank you
I wasnāt keen on going back to work. I had in my head that Iād roll right into sick leave. But it has made this week pass more quickly already so I hope it proves a good distraction for you too.
I hope your MRI date comes around quickly and the results follow swiftly. Xx
The waiting and anticipation is really hard, and it sounds like youāve found some strategies to try to manage this awful period. Iām sorry youāre in this situation but hopefully your surgery (if thatās confirmed) will go well and youāll be in a good place not too far off from now to hopefully put this phase behind you.
I was diagnosed 1b in September and had a radical hysterectomy with sentinel lymph nodes removed in November. I donāt need further treatment at the moment as the cancer hadnāt spread. Recovery has been tough but manageable with the support of my family and friends and a lot of patience. Itās all happened quite quickly now I look back on it (but didnāt feel like that at the time!).
Hi purplecarrot, thanks for your reply!
I can see that looking back I might see it differently than how I see it now. Iām quite a game wee bird & my consultant is well aware that Iām not messing about here & that Iām good for cancellations etc.
Can I ask? Do you feel like youāre getting back to āyourselfā or close to it? Is that a thing?
Hi first time posting. I see you guys all had llertz I went for mine and 4 local anaesthetic and I was in absolute agony and consultant couldnāt get a good enough view as viginal wall was bulging. But has anybody else experienced so much pain. He was saying itās just heat and I was like nooo itās not itās agony every movement??? Re booked me for general anesthetic on Tuesday had my pre op today. Sorry for hijacking your post. Xxx
Hi @cricky, I wouldnāt say Iām back to myself (and wonder if I ever will having had a cancer diagnosis?) but the past few weeks Iāve definitely been able to do more of the stuff I enjoyed before like longish walks in the park and popping over to a friends for coffee, so it does feel more like normality is some ways. I read that trying to have a positive outlook can help and I thought this would be really hard to do, but Iāve surprised myself at times and I think appreciating some positive things each day, even if small, has helped.
@Cricky oh and itās definitely been in stages - Iāve been there with the spontaneous tears and really dark moments too. It all comes in waves but I think itās all completely normal!
That sounds really awful for you, Iām sorry they werenāt very sympathetic. My LLETZ was with a local anaesthetic and I donāt think it worked everywhere as I felt one bit much more than the rest and flinched when Iād been told to stay still. Although a general anaesthetic sounds scary it will hopefully mean they can perform what they need without hurting you, and you should wake up with a drip/IV so if youāre in pain they can quickly give you something @jobdo
Hey Jobdo,
No need to apologise! I had LLETZ with a local and it was absolutely fine, worst bit was when he removed the thing at the end. Weāre all different though, Iāve read a lot of comments where they found it painful or uncomfortable.
Thanks guys for the replys. My pain tolerance is quite high but I was literally screaming in pain more when he was moving the spectrum trying to get a good view. They have done the biopsy and itās cin 3. Hopfully they can remove all with the llertz under general. Just worried that thereās more to worry about with all the pain and the symptoms that started afew months back that this whole smear ect was done. Thanks guys and good luck xx
Hello 
I am 37, 2 children.
I had 1B1 CC found on colposcopy in Nov. I had a radical hysterectomy and pelvic lymph node removal 4 weeks later. I am now almost 6 weeks post op.
I just thought Iād say hi in case itās helpful and if you wanted to ask me anything. Take care,
Kim
Hello Bootiful 
even just writing that made me smile 
Howās your recovery been?
I have an MRI tomorrow to see whatās next.
