Hi ladies,
Hope you are all doing well and thank you so much for this wonderful site! It’s been a gift the last 6 weeks.
I’m 25 and had my first smear in may, results came back as mild abnormalities and hpv positive (cue lots of crying/anger/googling).
Sooooo… When I got my results letter I was very lucky to have my boyfriend (of less than a year) with me at the time and pretty much threw the letter at him to read and ran up the stairs. I now know the results could have been much worse but reading “virus” on the letter made me feel so dirty and damaged. I felt like I had to apologise to the the bf over and over (even though he was grand just shocked and concerned that it might have been from him).
Anyway, sorry I’m rambling. I had an appointment 4 weeks later for a colpo and I convinced myself that “ah no it’ll be fine, it’s just a precautionary measure and they’ll leave me be and I’ll just have another smear in a year”. But low and behold the very nice and chatty lady nurse said she needed to take a couple of biopsies as she wasn’t 100 percent sure. It’s great that the nhs and other health services do this rather than leave things but it is terrifying to think that “oh god maybe it is something sinister, maybe there are bad changes and even though they can skelp them off they could keep coming back”. Anyway, results are back in about 4 weeks time and I guess I can worry/plan then. BUT, and this is a very big BUT, I don’t know if I should call up my mam and tell her. I almost feel like it would just cause extra unnecessary worry, but at the same time I do feel like I need my mum. But the there’s that old guilt/taboo thing kicking in saying “it’s your own fault, it’s a dirty virus that’s causing this” even though i know its not really because it is incredibly common and symptomless. I also don’t want her to think ill of my very lovely supportive boyfriend (we’re less than a year together and they haven’t met). Its just the virus that is stopping me telling her. Should I just wait 4 weeks and see what comes back in the biopsy? Any advice from mums out there or girls with a similar experience would be very much appreciated.
Thank you and a million sorries for the long rambling post! I’m just feeling a bit lost and lonely right now!
X
Hi Hun, my smear results were the same as yours and I had my colposcopy nearly 3 weeks ago, the hpv virus is not something to be ashamed of. 80% of all adults have it, but don't know about it as it lies dormant. If your worried about telling your mum just tell her about the abnormal smear, there's no reason she needs to know about the hpv virus. Personally I told my family straight away and do think you'll feel more at ease when you've spoken to your mum about everything. Good luck and let us know how you get on with your results xx
Hi Lostandlonely I am so sorry to hear you are going through such a difficult time. It can be really scary when you are faced with an abnormal smear and have no one to turn to. I am really glad you found us here you can ask whatever questions you like to ladies who know what you are going through. I am from Ireland to but live in England and i know we are not encouraged to talk about as you say 'Girlie things' well its just not proper. The HPV virus has been the cause of alot of guilt on this forum woman thinking they have given their boyfriends partners husbands some sort of sexual disease. The hPV virus also causes cold sores, veruca's and warts and the list goes on if you want to know more you can find out about it from the NHS online.
My sons Partner is 25 and has just been for her first smear it came back abnormal CIN2 she has just had Lletz treatment. I am so proud of her for having the courage to go and Im sure your mum will be to. I wish you all the best and hope you get good news. I will be thinking about you let us know how you get on. Big Hugs xxx
Hi there, I soooo understand what you are going through... waiting sucks, and telling mom was the worst part of it all for me
I did not have an issue with the virus thing, but as someone else suggested you can just share the bottom line, and give more info if she asks.
Almost all adults that ever had sex had hpv at some point and dont even know about it because there are no symptoms, and also even changes like CIN I or the virus itself can be resolved by our body and we wouldnt even know about it.
I am a single child and my father also passed many years ago so I did not want to worry my mom for no reason so I waited till after the cone biopsy results came back with the news that they also found adenocarcinoma in situ.
Long story short, in hine sight I realized how much burden it took off me when I told my mom...its such a shitty time to have to wait for all those results, our head is going in all directions, you cant stop thinking of all the what ifs...
You are very lucky to have a healthy relationship and a supportive boyfriend but mom is different, and she also might be hurt if she knows you didnt share with her such a thing you are going through... hope I am making any sense to you
I hope you will get clear answers very soon and be able to get back to your normal life and not have this worry, waiting really is the worst
