Severe anxiety about colposcopy

Cervical screening results
1

Hi everyone

I've just found this forum and wanted to see if anyone can help. My smear came back requiring further investigation in October (first time ever, my last one was 3 years ago) and I'm due for a coloscopy on December 11th (following a missed appointment due to new address confusion). Since opening that letter, I have been suffering anxiety to the extent that every day it's been on my mind. It’s affecting my sleep, my appetite and peace of mind. I have felt panicky and have some really dark moments where I feel completely helpless and terrified.

I have done a lot of internet research which is good and bad – mostly bad really, as I have pretty much convinced myself that the news will be bad, despite what people tell me! My partner and I want to start trying for a baby soon but I’m terrified that the news will mean I’ll have to have a hysterectomy. As you can tell, I’ve leapt to the worst conclusions and it is really doing my head in!

Can anyone offer me any reassurance?? I know that I am probably overreacting (I’m definitely the anxious type!) but knowing it doesn’t really help matters. I’m 33.

Thanks

 

2

Hi Charlotte

I completely understand how you must be feeling.  I'm sure all of us who post on here know what agony it is waiting for appointments/results, the not knowing is the worst bit for most.  If there is any advice I can pass on which helped me, is to focus on the 'here and now'.  Try and focus on the facts you know and don't waste time and energy worrying about things that may never happen.  It may be worth having a chat with your GP/phoning the hospital to see if there is any chance of getting an earlier appointment to save worrying for another week?  Hope all goes well for you x

3

Hi hun,

There are many reasons why you might have been sent for colposcopy...only a small number of people who are sent for one are actually diagnosed with CC. So try not to panic...the colposcopy itself is no worse than a smear only there are generally a few more people in the room. The nurses are generally great and will hold your hand if you are anxious. xx

4

Hi,

I didn't want to read and run. Just want to say I know how you feel with anxiety. I suffer terrible health anxiety. I had a borderline smear result in October a week before I was due to go on holiday with my husband with out the children. ( he's been in afghan for 6 months so was meant to be a nice break for 4 days). Anyway I spent all my time googling, phoning drs whilst I was away. One night I couldn't facefogging out of hotel. The hospital were great and managed to get me a cancellation within a week. I came home, spent hours googling until my appointment. I couldnt eat, sleep, had visions of leaving my 2 beautiful children, etc etc. I went for my colpOscopy and my consultant was very understanding. He took biopsy and i had results within a couple weeks. It came back cin1 and low grade cgin which is rarer glandular abnormality further up cervix. I started googling again!!! Had myself in for hysterectomy and all sorts. The consultant said he wouldn't normal treat but due to anxiety and fact I would worry about it he treated me with lletz and beginning november. About a week after lletz I went to gp for pill check and I broke down in tears about smear etc and so she called in another dr to basicallystat down and told me they had found cancer!!! My world stopped. I told her I suffered anxiety and she told me to pull myself together and contain in!!! So next day I contacted my consultant turns out no cancer was found on lletz biopsy. It was low grade cgin as expected. I saw my consultan today, my request as I had a list of 12 questions, he was brilliant and explained everything and reassured me. I now need another check up in 6 months which would normally be a smear at hp but he said due to my anxiety he will just check with colpOscopy and cut out the smear results. SO fingers crossed all will be ok. Sorry to ramble on. I'm now on medication and attending CBT for anxiety and starting to feel human and look forward to Xmas with my family. It's easy for people to say don't worry because it does overtake the mind. I wish you well with your results. Xxx

5

Hi Charlotte , totally understand where you are coming from and this forum certainly helped me. I had a smear test on nov 1st- the first for several yrs due to bad experiences in past.

Anyway got a letter 2 wks later to say abnormal cells seen and I would receive a colposcopy appt within 8 wks. The next day I got the appt for 2 wks later. Panic or what? Like you I had myself prepared for the worst. 

Yesterday I had my colposcopy and lletz. 

No worse than having a smear test. 

Doc thinks all abnormal area gone but have to wait for the results. 

I got a quick appointment because they had a space - as simple as that! So wasted time worrying for no reason. 

Lessons learned- don't read too much;don't worry and never go without smear tests

hope you will be ok

H

6

Hi Charlotte,

I sympathise with how you are feeling at the moment. I had my first smear this time last year which came back abnormal. I really freaked out as well and started to think the worst (not helped by the fact my mum had cc), anyway the colposcopy really isn't bad at all. As others have said its really no worse than a smear, just with an extra person in the room and everything on a big screen. Embarassed Nothing terrible was found from the biopsy - I had a cone lletz for the expected CIN/CGIN under GA because of the position - the worst part of that was the waiting around in the hospital!

Just had my second abnormal smear and the difference in how I feel about it from this time last year is worlds apart, because I know what to expect now and the highest probability is that it will be nothing to worry about. Worrying isn't healthy and so I guess its important for us to keep ourselves in the now and not get to carried away with the what ifs.

Hope all goes well for you xx

 

7

Thank you everyone so much! Your responses have greatly reassured and soothed me. I feel bad going on about being so anxious when there are some of you who have faced the news we all fear. This is an excellent forum and I'm really glad it's here to support women going through this.

Thanks again and I'll be sure to check in here when I need a healthy dose of reality and common sense! I'll lbe sure to let you know how it goes for me on the 11th :)

xx

 

 

8

Hi Charlotte!  

ive hesitated about registering here but just wanted to say that I had my 1st abnormal result too plus HPV positive and was booked for a colposcopy yesterday.  I consider myself to be quite a practical personality, able to keep things in perspective, so ive been taken by surprise at how badly i reacted to that letter. I went into a bit of a meltdown and to be honest ive been obsessing about it!  Googling the net and getting far too much information and quietly worrying about various imaginary symptoms - its not been a healthy hobby!  By the time it came to the appointment yesterday i had to take a beta blocker to calm myself down and went from being a competent adult to a frightened rabbit caught in the headlights!!  

However i had to write in to say that the consultant was lovely and so were the nurses.  It wasnt even particularly embarassing - ive felt worse at smear tests when the sister has put her head torch on!! - and it didnt hurt at all.  The consultant had a good old rummage about apparently and finally came to the conclusion that there was nothing out of the ordinary to find.  She explained everything clearly and said she'd check me in a years time with another colposcopy and take a smear then - that would avoid coming and going with the GP. (the guidelines say that she could have discharged me back to 3 yearly smears but they felt that was too long and so their protocol is an annual follow up colposcopy.)

Basically its been a storm in a teacup for me - ive been very fortunate i know and i really feel for the other ladies on this site who are having to undergo treatment thats why i wasnt sure about joining in - but its true that for many women thats all this will ever be.  I wanted to write in just  in case this helps spare anyone from worrying away 6 weeks of their life like i have!  I genuinely wont worry the next time i have to go for a colposcopy - it really and truly is no worse than a smear.  Had they found something, that would have been the time to start dealing with it, not anticipating trouble!!

Good luck with your appointment, Charlotte and resist the internet temptation!!

xx

 

 

 

9

I recently had my first smear and it came back abnormal- I have my colposcopy appointment on 12/12. I've suffered with bad stomach cramps ever since my smear, although I didn't think the smear hurt at all ( I had heard it can but was fine for me) I've spent the last two weeks on google, read good and bad stuff so Ive convinced myself its the worse. i feel awful for my hubby too as his mum had cc four years ago and now I'm being checked for it, I feel bad and scared.  I'm not worried about the colposcopy or the biopsy although I have heard the biopsy isn't pleasant I'm more worried about the waiting now. l saw urs is the day before mine, so if you get the chance would be great if you could update and let me know how it was for you. lots of luck xxx

10

Hi everyone

 

My coloscopy took place this morning, and I’m pleased to report that it was fine! Before I went in, I was told that my smear had come up showing mild changes, so that was a relief to know. Apparently I could have found that out from my GP but I recently moved so am between GP surgeries. Had I know that, I would have done it as I do think it would cut out a lot of anxiety.

 

Because of that, I felt a lot more relaxed going in for the coloscopy. They made me very comfortable, the nurse chattered away to me and it wasn’t painful or even that uncomfortable (I’ve had worse bikini waxes!). As everyone on here told me, but I guess you need to experience it for yourself. She saw a small area that showed up and took a biopsy of it (said it could be CIN2 but she wasn’t sure), but said she wasn’t too concerned about it, and it was very small. I’ll find out in a few weeks time.  Oh and the biopsy was fine – just like a smear really. Felt some faint cramping but nothing to worry about.

 

I’m very relieved it’s over. I guess it’s not ideal to have results to wait for, but she was very reassuring about it. Even if it does require further treatment, the way they were with me has made me not so afraid to go back because I know I’ll be in really good hands.

 

Thanks to everyone who replied to my thread and sent me PMs, I really appreciate it. I do feel a bit foolish about overreacting, but the research I undertook shows that women in this position often experience more severe anxiety than those awaiting more serious surgery. I guess it’s down to fear of the unknown.

 

I’d like to reassure those awaiting a coloscopy that it really isn’t as bad as you think it will be – and this is coming from the girl who practically hyperventilated on opening the initial ‘your smear test results require further investigation’ letter from the hospital! If you can, try to speak to your GP or whoever carried out your smear, as had I done this earlier, I would have felt more reassured about what I was going into.

 

I’m planning to raise money for Jo’s through a 10k or half marathon (depending how the training goes!) I think that despite the tragic story of Jade Goody, cervical cancer doesn’t receive as much ‘publicity’ as some of the other cancer forms and it really should.

 

Thanks again all, and I really hope that everything works out for you. I was very touched and inspired by all the stories I have read on here. I know I am very fortunate with my outcome and hope that everyone’s stories on here end well.  xx PS Very best of luck xhhx for tomorrow, i really hope this post helps you!

 

11

Hi everyone

 

My coloscopy took place this morning, and I’m pleased to report that it was fine! Before I went in, I was told that my smear had come up showing mild changes, so that was a relief to know. Apparently I could have found that out from my GP but I recently moved so am between GP surgeries. Had I know that, I would have done it as I do think it would cut out a lot of anxiety.

 

Because of that, I felt a lot more relaxed going in for the coloscopy. They made me very comfortable, the nurse chattered away to me and it wasn’t painful or even that uncomfortable (I’ve had worse bikini waxes!). As everyone on here told me, but I guess you need to experience it for yourself. She saw a small area that showed up and took a biopsy of it (said it could be CIN2 but she wasn’t sure), but said she wasn’t too concerned about it, and it was very small. I’ll find out in a few weeks time.  Oh and the biopsy was fine – just like a smear really. Felt some faint cramping but nothing to worry about.

 

I’m very relieved it’s over. I guess it’s not ideal to have results to wait for, but she was very reassuring about it. Even if it does require further treatment, the way they were with me has made me not so afraid to go back because I know I’ll be in really good hands.

 

Thanks to everyone who replied to my thread and sent me PMs, I really appreciate it. I do feel a bit foolish about overreacting, but the research I undertook shows that women in this position often experience more severe anxiety than those awaiting more serious surgery. I guess it’s down to fear of the unknown.

 

I’d like to reassure those awaiting a coloscopy that it really isn’t as bad as you think it will be – and this is coming from the girl who practically hyperventilated on opening the initial ‘your smear test results require further investigation’ letter from the hospital! If you can, try to speak to your GP or whoever carried out your smear, as had I done this earlier, I would have felt more reassured about what I was going into.

 

I’m planning to raise money for Jo’s through a 10k or half marathon (depending how the training goes!) I think that despite the tragic story of Jade Goody, cervical cancer doesn’t receive as much ‘publicity’ as some of the other cancer forms and it really should.

 

Thanks again all, and I really hope that everything works out for you. I was very touched and inspired by all the stories I have read on here. I know I am very fortunate with my outcome and hope that everyone’s stories on here end well.  xx

12

Hi Charlotte, thanks so much for your best wishes, reading your post has made me feel so much more at ease for tomorrow. This site is fantastic I feel so lucky to have found it! I think it's brilliant your looking to raise money for the site and will happily sponsor you! Will keep you posted after tomorrow :) xxxx

13

This thread has been wonderful to read. I’m 26 and hate most things medical to do with embarasing body parts (only lower half mind you) it took me a year to go for my smear test off my own back and without anyone forcing me or telling me what to do, including the NHS. I went two months ago and felt everything and even though my nurse was an angel I felt dirty walking out and swore I’d never go back. I’m 26, my result letter came back and W I’ve been referred with low grade changes and HPV positive. I’m scared beyond belief and nothing is helping. im only drinking water but I’m not sleeping or eating properly and all I can think about is this stupid procedure. I don’t want a biopsy and am bordering not giving my consent. The whole thing is so awful to go through for any women and I wish they would recognise that HPV in men needs to be treated to avoid us going through this just because I have a cervix. If I had a child then I wouldn’t be bothered but I don’t and my partner and I are planning to get pregnant in the next two years...any advice that helps would be great. My parents arent helping me stay calm at all. They think I’ve got cancer with the way they are going on!!! HELP PLEASE! My appointment is in two days and I dont want to go. I’m angry this has happened to me and my god I wish  wasn’t a women..