Roller coaster

Well where do I start? 

With a journey that started 4 months ago, with GP stating it was a UTI! Had bladder and kidney investigated dispite telling the GP that my periods had changed, and I was in constant pain.  Eventually asked me if I wanted an ultrasound! Really that was the question, do you want an ultrascan? As I am overweight of course this must be the reason for the pain, tested for every possible condition except for the dreaded C.  


Eventually went to A&Eas the pain was/ is unmanageable .  Couldn't do anything 

Continued from above, last thursday referred to consultant the next day for ultrasound , only because I went to A&E , still waiting for GP referral! Anyway, ultrasound and consultant initially said everything on scan is normal, wanted to do an internal just to be sure.  Monday everything changed, i have never seen panic in the face of a doctor.  Had a visible tumor on my cervic, took cells and rushed the confirmation through, which I got today.  


Kinda day numb at the moment, at least I may get some decent pain relief. Have been told MRI next, but don't know how long I will have to wait, and worried as I have 2 small screws in my ankle from a break a few years ago.

Clearly visible tumour means more than early stage and I have pain in my left side , but I guess that fact that the ultrasound of womb/overy seems normal , and kidney bladder is normal is positive, all the blood tests I have had recently have been normal as well.  

I am trying to find positives, need to tell my kids (20 and 22) this weekend not looking forward to that.


Hi Zippydoda

So sorry to hear what you are going through.  I was diagnosed a year ago and can understand how you must be feeling.

I had my MRI exactly 1 week after I was told but I guess that may vary from area to area.  I have heard cases where it is visible but still at an early stage so don't give up on that yet.  Mine wasnt visible because it was a lot higher up the cervix.

Good luck with telling your kids, theres no easy way but thankfully you will have them to support you.

Keep us posted on how things go for you, you will get lots of support from this site.

Hugs, Cheryl,xx

Hi Zippydoda :-)

Panic in the face of a Dr eh? Now that's a fun one. Panic or horror? Either way, it's not something you forget in a hurry. It might mean it's a fairly junior Dr who hasn't seen that much of it face to face (as it were), it might mean it's a fairly junior Dr who has not yet learned to keep their facial expressions to themselves, but it may well mean that you get to jump the queue, which is a good thing.

It is now almost three years since much the same happened to me and I'm still here. As Cheryl D has said in another post, quite a lot of the women who come to this forum at the outset when they are anxious tend to drop off when they are taking it all in their stride. I come back here when I can in the hope that I can help reduce some of the fear going on with the newly diagnosed.

If your kids go into a panic, they might find some comfort here but I would advise that you sort out some positive posts to show them first, we don't want to frighten them even more now do we.

Wishing you the very best luck with the whole journey - Roller-Coaster is exactly what it is.

Go Well


Update, had a letter in the post today which was sent to the GP, gave all the details in scary black and white. Have a provisional stage of 2b, no bladder or rectal involvement, but was shocked by the size, 6.3 cm x 3.6cm ! Have been told with be chemordination combination, but waiting for full details is freaking me out.  Have PET on Monday, and they say looking to start treatment mid oct.  Feel out of control.

Hi again Zippydoda,

Whoo it sounds like you are trundling up to the top of one of those roller-coaster peaks! That does sound a little on the large side doesn't it, but keep reminding yourself, it's still a stage 2, not a 3 nor a 4. There is no bladder nor rectal involvement and your blood tests are good. These are all good things. It has to be a respectable size for it to be a stage 2 so please try not to frighten yourself that it's larger than you imagined. Looking to start treatment in mid Oct is good, it gives you just enough time to get your head in the right place without too much dreadful waiting. 

My tip for chemo-radiation? Drink a tablespoon of liquid aloe vera every morning. Re-take control.

Huge hugs


Hi Zippydoda

I echo everything said by Tivoli above.  Its completely natural to feel out of control at the moment but you will regain control soon.  Things start to feel better when you get your treatment plan and definate dates.  When I was in the waiting phase I listened to relaxation and meditation CD's - had never done it before but they really helped to get my mind in a different place.

I never had chemo-radiation but lots of the ladies on this site will be able to offer help and advice.  My favourite word when I was facing treatment was 'courage' and I used to repeat it to myself a lot. You'll find the strength to get through it, it's amazing how strong we all are when faced with this.

Keep us posted, will be thinking of you.

Hugs, Cheryl,xx

Hey Tivoli -

just a note to you about your comments on staging.  I know you're trying to give encouragement but it sounds like you're saying 'at least its not stage 3 & 4 which is so much worse'.  Yes -  those of us who are stage 3 or 4 know how our situations may seem to others and we do not  want to read comments like this as it sets us apart from the stage 1 & 2 ladies perhaps in that it's hopeless for us??   I prefer to believe that my chances are as good as anybody elses, no matter the stage. More sensitivity & thought required here. Sorry if it sounds like a telling off but it had to be said.



Hi ladies

Thand you for your comments, it helps just having this platform to talk .  Finding it really hard to just let go about how I feel, don't want those close to me seeing that I am really scared.  Having done everything in the last 44 years on my own, it confusing that I may have to have others support me.  I am hoping the PET will be positive, the MRI showes some node involvement , but CNS said this may just be bodies own immune system, they also detected cysts which are adding to the pain.


Hi Sharon,

I apologise if my post sounded insensitive, it certainly wasn't meant to. I find myself constantly surprised by how much fear there is here amongst young women, often with hardly a diagnosis at all. The whole purpose of cancer staging is so that everybody understands clearly what the situation is.

It is a fact that a stage 2 is a more established cancer than a stage 1 and so on. Nothing is achieved by pretending that that is not the case.

Please don't put words into my mouth and then get upset about them. I have not used words such as 'worse' or 'hopeless' in my post, you have. 

Be lucky


Hi ladies

Just logging in, you are my life line at the moment.  Had my PET scan on Monday, next week Monday I will find out my treatment plan.  I find that the closer it comes to the time for treatment to start, the more I feel out of control.  I seem to have daily crying episodes at the moment, just when something happens and I stop and think. does it get better?

Hi Zippydoda

Just wanted to leave you a message that I am thinking of you everyday.  Crying is a natural response and a release, please dont try to beat yourself up about that. Waiting for the results and not knowing the treatment plan is so difficult.  Send you hugs and hope that I can support you during this difficult period in what ever way. x


Hi Zippydoda

Yes, it does honestly get better.  I had the crying episodes just the same as you.  I was a bit better when I got my treatment plan but a lot of that was down to the wonderful consultant I had.  My turning point was when the treatment actually started, guess then I felt that something was now being done to get rid of this awful disease.

This is a lousy time for you, hang in there and we'll be here to support you along the way.



Hi Zippydoda,

I think that the reason you feel more out of control the closer you get to the treatment is because it's becoming unavoidably real. In the periods between having anything to do with doctors and hospitals and treatments we can sometimes put the whole thing to the back of our minds and pretend it's just a dream or something. But when you have a date in your diary which says be at this hospital on this day for this treatment you can't pretend that it's not happening. I go through the exact same thing twice a year in the run-up to my tests. I don't get tearful so much any more, though I still do sometimes, a little bit, but yes, in answer to your question, it does get better.

Go well


Tivoli, I am just wondering...what does the tablespoon of liquid aloe vera do for you during treatment? 

So I finally have my treatment plan, and start on 14th October. 28 sessions radio, 5 chemo and 3 internal under general.  Had the planning CT today, and my tats. 

Next step pre assessment for chemo, hoping for a central line as my veins are so bad and the thought of them digging around for access is bothering me.

Told I shouldn't lose my hair , which has made a huge difference to my outlook.  

Treated myself to a new bed and mattress, thought if I am going to have to spend enforced time in bed being ill I may as well be comfortable.

I am sure that the road ahead is still going to be rocky but at least I know I can start to fight the bugger.

Hi Zippydoda

Thats good you have your plan now and yes, the road will get rocky at times but you can do this and you have got positive mental attitude now which will really help.  Good news too about your hair.  I sympathise with you about your veins, mine are bad too but I'm sure they are experienced with veins like that - we can't be the only ones.

That was a nice treat with the new bed and mattress, hope you are very comfortable in it.

Not long to wait now and you can start your fight.  Sending you lots of hugs, stay strong and keep us posted.


Hi Stak

Liquid Aloe Vera soothes the burning in the gut from the radiotherapy which reduces the side-effects of having sunburnt insides. Or so I believe. Certainly I didn't suffer as badly as some others.

Be lucky



That certainly makes sense as Aloe Vera gel is brilliant on skin burns.  I'll pass this tip onto a friend who will be going through radiotherapy soon. Thank you!



Thats good that you have your plan.You can focus and get it all behind

you now.It's amazing how at the start it seem's endless but goes really fast.

We are all here to help with any problems you have.

Well done for treating yourself you deserve to be comfy.

Take care

Becky x