Need someone to run this by


First time here, im here because im going crazy with worry about my abnormal smear result.

I have mild dys and hpv virus but im not sure what strain of the virus.

Im waiting for my colposcopy appointment.

Im 42 and single. Ive recently become a Granny for the first time and life is SO good at the moment, i know i might seem dramatic but i keep almost crying thinking of my kids and my little granddaughter and how shit it would be to croak it now!!!!!

I keep telling myself it will be ok but my Gran died from cervical cancer and so did one of her sisters and its worrying the heart out of me.

Im under the hospital for ovarian cysts and they keep a close eye on me, blood tests for C and scans. But i didnt go last year for a scan or blood test. Stupidly kept putting it off!

I know theres nothing any of you can say to make me stop worrying but i havent got anyone to talk too. My mums recently been diagnosed with MS and shes having such a tough time i do not want to worry her with this. My daughter doesnt need to know anything.

I have told a friend over the phone and i am seeing her for a cuddle tomorrow but because having a bad result is quite common i feel like no one understands MY worry.

I'd never even heared of HPV before the letter and im gutted that ive got that, it seems a bit of a stigma to me, im ashamed to tell my Mum, thats for sure. Its a std , how can i tell my Mum that!!!!!!!!

It would be kind of nice to be able to get things off my chest here :)

Rant over.



I really hope that the colposcopy goes well, and I can understand the fear and worry you are going through, it is natural it is a huge deal facing this.  I can undertsand also the feelings you are getting over the HPV I was the same, luckily hubby and family are more concerned about the words cervical cancer so havent been asked as much, so if it is better just tell mum they are abnormal cells, and call it quits you need to cope with one thing at a time and so does she :) 

So I know you have heard it before but try and stay as calm as you can, wait for the colposcopy which will tell you much more, and let us know how it goes :) its no worse than a smear just pictures you can see :)

So hugs for now , and good luck xxxx

Hi Llully,

I completely understand and felt completely the same when I got the dreaded letter(/phone call in my case) even though it's 'common' to get an abnormal result that doesn't take away from the fact that it's a scary scary thing and gives you a huge shock :( talk everything over with your friend tomorrow, it'll help you feel better, cry, get angry, do whatever it takes :) and don't be afraid to wirte on here for some support - Jo's really helped keep me sane.

As for HPV being an STD, yes it is... but it's so common doctors think that at one point or another everyone has had it, we've just had bad luck that it's caused some changes. You don't have to have slept around to contract HPV and some doctors suspect you don't even need to have sex - just sexual contact, so please don't get weighed down with those kind of thoughts x x x it's as common as the verucca or cold sore virus, and your body can get rid of it naturally (it can lurk around and flare up again, but even so it might not cause changes this time, and the NHS will monitor you with more regular smears until it goes)

 x x x x x

Thankyou guys, i will keep you posted. I wonder how long i will have to wait for my appointment.

I'll give it to the middle of next week. I dont think i can handle waiting too much longer, i just want it over with.

Im not concerned about the colposcopy, im not screamish. But id like to know what im actually dealing with here and im praying to a God ive never believed in before that its nothing serious.




Hi Llully

You have definitely come to the right place! It’s such a worrying time, there’s not a woman on here who hasn’t gone through that horrible mix of negative emotions on receiving the ‘abnormal smear’ letter.

Becky is right, hpv is extremely common, most people are lucky in that it goes away by itself. So please don’t feel bad about that if you can, there’s absolutely.nothing to be ashamed of.

I really know what you mean about it being your bad result. Right now I’m waiting.on my lletz. They say it isn’t cancer and hopefully it can all be removed…but the worry and anxiety are a little crazy! So go easy on yourself, you’re totally justified on feeling like this.

I know there’s nothing any of us can say to put your mind completely at rest…just know that the vast majority.of outcomes are not cancer and can be easily cured. And stick around here, there’s some great support!

Take care x x

Thankyou Charlotte. I will stick around, it helps to hear from others who have had and felt the same. :)