Hi there. Not sure what to write except im scared.
Had abnormal smear showing hpv & cin1. Had biopsy which showed cin 3. Had lletz 2 wks ago. This showed cin 3 & cancer. Doc says he thinks early stages? I am waiting for an mri to see if its anywhere else.
He said i am definitely to have a hysterectomy within the next couple of months.
Im just scared and looking for someone who can reassure me i think. My mind keeps bouncing from ‘it’ll all be ok’ to planning what on earth im going to do & very very dark places.
Also, bit of a technophobe…never joined a forum before so not even sure if im posting right.
Hopefully its like facebook. I can work that haha xxx
Hi. I can't answer but didn't want to not post after reading your story. Early stage sounds as positive as cancer goes so try and stay strong. There's lots of ladies on here going through the same thing (I'm sure you'll hear from them once they've read your post big hugs and stay strong through this difficult time. Xxx you are in my thoughts xx
Your journey sounds similar to mine if you read my info below. I know, it's v scary and all a bit daunting but this is the hardest bit, waiting around for definite answers etc. Once you know what you are dealing you will feel less scared and more in control.
My hysterectomy was in July and was back at the gym since October and probably fitter now than before. some people have a cone biopsy for very early cc so that's something to think about depending on children etc.
Big hugs and sorry for the reason you have had to join this site but you couldn't have chosen a better forum, wonderful ladies and great support network to get you through this. I pretty much was a Google addict and quickly realised it is much better to ask questions on here. Or there's a ask the expert section too.
Big hugs xxx
Hiya, like Katie said early stages is positive, I know that there is lots of eomen on here who will be able to offer you lots of support and advice.
i am currently waiting for my LLETZ results, it is really difficult to be positive at times but you are in the right place and are going to get treatment.
thinking of you
Kerry lots of hugs xx
Thank you so much for your replies girlies. I was in a v dark place yesterday. A little relieved to hear your voices. Much love xxx
Hi, Emma
the best advice I can give us when you are feeling a little low and have all those questions in your head, then post on here and stay away from Google.
The women in here are fantastic
Don't be alone
Kerry xx
Just wanted to send you lots of positive thoughts. Playing the waiting game for scans and results is by far the worse thing to do. Once you have a treatment plan it does get easier to move forward. This forum is a godsend. Such wonderful ladies going through or having gone through similar experiences. I found knowing there was someone else going through what I was a real comfort (might sound strange but it was invaluable to me). i was pleasantly surprised how quick my recovery was after the hysterectomy and like previous comments I actually feel better now than I have done for a long time. Feel free to ask anything on here but I would advise you stay away from Google because it's all doom and gloom. Wishing you lots of luck.
Helen
xxxx
Hi Emma, sorry that you have to find yourelf in this forum. But this is a great place for information and support. Im 32 and a single mom of a 10 years old. I was diagnosed with 1b1 a couple of weeks ago which was downgraded to 1a2 after re evaluation. The past 4-6 weeks have been overwhelming- procedures, tests, scans, visits with the consultants. These are all part of the process, so stay strong and focus on what's ahead.
Just got home today from radical hys- which wasnt so bad at all. Now Im also waiting for the results of my surgery and keeping the faith that the worst is over.
The waiting part is really difficult and a positive attitude will help you get through. There are a lot of ladies on here who has some really helpful information and based on experience so it's realy quite handy.
My advice would be to ask anything you need to know from your doctors. If you did some research and you feel that you have to clarify some things, ask away and never leave your doctor's office with unanswered questions in your head. Trust that your medical team will give you the best options and treatment plan.
Wish you all the best. xox
Message me if you have questions and I'll try to share as much as i can ;)
Izzy
Thank you so much for all your comments. Yes the waiting is the worst. Terrifying. I'm a single mum of an 8yr old, Izzy1984. I think that's the most terrifying thing. I cant stop thinking dark thoughts.
My lovely partner has taken me away to Loch ness for my 40th this weekend so only 4 out of every 5 thoughts are dark. It sounds daft but there are moments when i completely forget, and they are wonderful but then it all comes crashing back and i feel like i cant breathe.
I'm hoping the MRI will put my mind at rest.
Thank u ladies. Wishing u all well xxx
Hi Emma :-)
Welcome to the forum :-) Really glad you have found us but sorry that you have needed to. I just wanted to say that new stuff is often scary, but you settle into it quite quickly and then it's not so daunting. So for me, my diagnosis was 4 and a half years ago and I'm going off to see all my old friends at the hospital in a day or two for my follow up scans. More recently I have joined facebook and that is as scary as hell! It's just a case of what you are familiar with, but personally i find cancer a lot more understandable than I do Facebook!
(((((HUGS)))))
Be lucky :-)
Tivoli
Thank you for your reply.
I'm finding people on here amazing for bringing me back down to earth and combatting some of the fears and anxiety i have.
Love how happy u sound. Hope your follow up scans are happy free n clear xxxx
Hi, thanks for your reply. It sounds so positive.
Yes, i'm trying to stay away from google as im pretty sure i will frighten myself stupid! Lol
Im going through bouts of being ok and then bouts of real breath stopping fear. Trying to tell myself to stop being stupid.
Hi Kerry,
Thank you. Yep! Not googling! Will scare myself silly im sure lol.
Have u heard about your lletz yet hunni? Crossing everything that it's happy news for u xxxxx
Thank you Katie xxx
Thanks for your reply hun. Great to know you are at the otherside of all this. Yes, no googling for me lol.
Hi, my biopsies and lletz was a similar story to yours as nothing matched. Then when I was told I couldn't believe it and was pretty much giving the consultant the hi- five!! I now realise that this was pure shock! I had and still have very dark moments and seconds where I have to catch my breath so you aren't on your own there. Just give yourself time - my husband was great at distraction techniques. I finally got my staging at 1a1 the other day and consultant thinks he has got all the cancer an no evidence of spread in mri. I am putting my faith in him. The ladies on here were great and gave me support as they understand how it feels. X x x
Hey hun,
catching your breath is a perfect way to describe it when the fear kicks in.
Glad to hear your doc says he's got it all. So have you had a hysterectomy or has he got it all with a lletz?
I have my mri on Thursday afternoon, so i suppose i will find out next wednesday.
wishing, praying and wishing some more for good news for everybody! xxxx
Hi there,
My treatment ended at a 2nd lletz with top hat (they took more further up) and the margins came back clear. Double checked with an mri and nothing was spotted. Initially a hysterectomy was discussed but consultant thinks he has done enough and now on 3 month check ups. I am struggling with the lletz as have had an infection so emotions are still rife!
The waiting is defo the hard part but deep breathing and knowing you are being looked after got me through.
If you have any questions I can try to share where I can x
Hope your mri is ok on Thursday x x x
Thanks hunni,
I had an infection just short of a week after the lletz. Ruddy awful. I thought i has flu at first. Its still v painful now.
I do think the leaflets & docs should explain more clearly as infections and pain for a long time seem to be common place yet they arent mentioned and so cause more concern.
I hope u feel in a better place v soon xxx
Hi, what is a "top hat?" please? I'm having a cold knife conization next week and haven't had any kids yet. I'm so nervous I will need to have a hysterectomy before I'm ready...
