I'm not really sure what I'm doing here, I'm just feeling very isolated. So excuse the ranting...
I was 25 when I was given the dreaded "you've CIN3 and HPV" news...i went through the Colposcopy and LLETZ and came back with no cancer.
I had my 3 year smear in December and the results came back with mild dyskaryosis and HPV infection....so my Colposcopy is at the end of the month and I just feel angry at my body. I don't want it...
I can't talk to my partner...he's becoming increasingly distant..although he claims he isn't...(maybe it's just my miserable arse overthinking) having to explain HPV to him was hard..considering I barely know enough myself...I just feel dirty (is that silly?) I feel like he's going to run for the hills because I have this thing...that doesn't seem to bugger off..
Blah, I don't know. Over emotional and constantly thinking the worst is exhausting.
I’m not really in the same boat hpv/cin wise ... my doctors still have no clue, no abnormal cells found at colposcopy, nurse saw I have hpv due to seeing the virus in the opening of cervix but hpv came back not detected, but she saw a lump and took a biopsy so currently waiting for those results. However, the whole HPV thing makes me feel gross too! The whole ‘sexually transmitted’ aspect of it and as soon as you googled HPV, cancer and genital warts are the first thing that come up!!! Have you explained to him that something ridiculous like 90% of people who are sexually actively actually have it but it is dormant and your body just fights it off? Unfortunately with situations like yours (possibly mine) and the other 1000s of people on this site and more for some reason our immune systems decide to take a time out at just the wrong time! Also, I can’t really talk to my partner either because he says ‘it’s going to be fine’ then changes the subject. It’s infuriating!!
Don’t worry about him running for the hills, I hate to sound sexist but it’s just the male ‘bury my head in the sand’ kind of response to anything remotely serious! Xx
I felt like that at first, until I realised just how common HPV is and that it can even be transmitted when you practise safe sex! So please try not to feel dirty and don't let anyone else make you believe that either - remember we're all in the same boat here :) And for what it's worth, if he does run for the hills then he's not worthy of you anyway! xx
