hi everyone,
i really struggled waiting for the results of my biopsy and colposcopy; I had a lot of anxiety and fear waiting but I put on a brave face for my mum as she was also very nervous for me. I received the results and I was relieved to find out I just have CIN1 changes And that I am very lucky and grateful for it not to be worse. They said they’d write to me within 4 weeks with my appointment to have the cells removed. It has been around 11 weeks now and I still haven’t received a letter with my appointment - is this normal and should I be concerned? I have tried calling the department at the hospital many times and never get through. I’m at a loss at what to do- should I ask my doctor about it? I’m worried I didn’t receive the letter and may have missed my appointment.
also something else I need some advice about; ever since the initial scare with my smear test result I have had irrational death anxiety and existential anxiety. I have never had issues with that before. The realisation of a health worry gave me an obsession regarding the fact every day is a gift and it could at any point be my last as you never know. The reality hit me very hard and I have panic attacks every day now. I think it stems from the fact I have a lot of regrets about where I am in my life and the smear test scare gave me a wake up call. Has anyone else experienced death anxiety? I know it’s a difficult subject to discuss as I used to never acknowledge mortality or the fact anything could happen to me i used to be in a blissful state of being oblivious to the fact. I feel very guilty to feel like this as I should be happy that all is ok. But I feel very emotional and sad for the fact any of us can have bad news at any time it’s dificult to cope with that fact.
