Hi,
I am living in abroad and have recently been diagnosed with HSIL/CIN3. I havent told my family the full details as i didnt want them to worry and i am finding it difficullt to cope.
It began when my periods were a lot more painful than normal and intercourse was painful. I was referred to the Gyno with suspected endomitriosis. My scans showed a cervical cyst and my pap was abnormal. I was diagnosed with LSIL- Low grade changes in the cells on March 2017 and put on the waiting list for endomitriosis treatment. In april 2017 i ended up in hospital as i had random onset of bleeding (a large amount) and the doctor suspected that the cervical cyst ruptured (cyst was gone) and discharged me.
November 2017 my stomach swole up, i looked about 5 months pregnant, was constipated and had suspected gastritis. Had another pap smear just incase and it was returned with HSIL possible CIN3. The doctors main concern was to go from LSIL to HSIL in 8 months and refererd me for an urgent Coposcopy and Biopsy. The doctor at the hospitial stated that it was more than likely a misread and didnt suspect CIN3.
During the colposcopy he quickly changed his mind and stated that he belived it was definitly CIN3 and carried out 2 biopsies. He desribed how his biggest concern was that a few of the abnormal cells had blood vessells in them, he showed me the pictures and said that if cancer was present, he belived it was non-inasive and surface level, that i would be reffered for LEEP regardless of the biopsy results.
It was a lot to take in considering he initially said he didnt even think it was CIN3. I am two days out from the results and i cant stop crying/having nightmares. My biggest concern is fertitily. I am so afraid that this will lead to a histerectamy.
My partner has been extremly helpful and supportive, however he is also upset so i hold back in telling him how i feel. But i cannot tell my family as they are in the other side of the world and i dont want them to worry, especially when we dont have definite results yet.
I have came across this forum and it has been really informative so thank you for that. I just dont know what to do from here. What if i have cancer? Is early cancer treatable without impacting fertility. Any advice is really appriciated.
Thank you.
Hey mate, sorry to hear about what you'e going through so far from home. From what I know about Irish in aust, you guys have youte own little family of friends away from home with a reallt great support network, make sure you let them in and knoe how you'e feeling. It will help having someone to talk to.
Your concerns about fertility are completely normal in terms of jumping to conclusions eith that, I was a complete headcase, I couldn't get sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't stop crying. It was and still is all I care about.
I don't know if this will work for you but for me it helped to break things down and focus on one thing at a time so not to overwhelm myself in what is the most vulnerable circumstances ive ever had. All I want is kids, my biggest fear in life generally is not having kids, then throw this into the mix. Thus I chose to re focus my thinking, the doctors and treating me and results are on the way (I have a week to wait). Right now I am focusing on the good things in my life, trying to be positive and trying not to think worst case. I know how horrible and daunting a time it Is, trust me I just wish it wasn' happening but focusing positively will get you through better than worrying worst case.
From everything I've read, the testing and treatment of these abnormal cells early via lletz etc is highly successful. The rates of incidence of abnormal cells are high yet I've also read that the abnormal cells developing into cancer are relaticely low if treated/monitored and normally the development is slow. But everyone is different. Just know that whatever the outcome of your results, you can do this, you have a boyfriend with you every step of the way and if it is something sinister consider telling your family once you have known facts. I haven't told mine either as I also live away and I don't want to worry them until after my lletz results.
You've got this. You can do it. Keep writing on here, vent away, dribble your feelings on keyboard. Do what you have to do. You'll have support. You can do this.
Thank you so much for your kind supportive words. I really appriciate it and feel so much better.
Sorry to hear that your going through the same, i know its easy to say but try not to worry too much.
I got my biopsy results and they were not cancerous, so i am getting the lletz next month. I am still very afraid but feeling a lot better. I have to admit i have cried loads this week even after the results, i think i was overwhelmed and could finally let go and show how i felt.
Good luck with your results and i hope you feel better soon. Xx
Hey there,
Glad you're feeling better. I know how it is with the ups and downs of emotions. And you've got the best news ever that it' not cancerous so the lletz is precautionary and hopefully one treatment and you'll be all good! Once you get your head around the facts its far easier to be positive.
I know reading some things on here about how terrible lletz is can be daunting but honestly I'm now 4 days since mine and it has been pretty smooth sailing from start to now and feeling far better than anticipated so far. I've probably taken it alot easier then most people do but I just wanted to get it 100% right. I had extra sutures put in when they did the surgery but they said it was nothing yo worry about but to take it easier. I'm very active so im sure my surgeon is scared ill run too soon or something. I honestly feel ok and it would be so easy to overdo things because you feel ok but ive been conscious of rest and slept 14hrs the two days after surgery. I'm just trying to tell you all this so you know the lletz is ok and you'll have less worry.
It's just a vulnerable time because of where it is in our bodies. If you need to chat please contact me as I'm more than happy to listen and share my own experience if it helps you.
Hang in there and keep feeling good!
