Asking for help re loss of sex drive

So its three years since my treatment finished and apart from poxy lymphoedema and menopause stuff I have recovered pretty well.

My consultant's team have looked after me vey well, but there was one that i didn't like and, typically, kept running in to him at check ups.  He's brusque and a bit rough and always hurts me when he examines me. Today, I had my latest appointment and saw a new doctor - the first female one ever!

Anyway, to cut a long story short, this appointment was so relaxed I finally confessed that I don't seem to be able to summon up any interest in sex at all, and that although it makes me sad in a way to think that part of my life could be over, I am so disinterested it doesn't really bother me.

So, she went and fetched the big boss consultant who is very smooth, but utterly lovely. He stresed how much they all care about what happens to us and that although he's delighted that my physical treatment has gone well, he wants to make sure I get to enjoy not just a long life after CC, but a full and happy one too. What a babe.

So, anyway, he is referring me for some help, although it wasn't too clear what that would be. Psychosexual counselling I'd guess although I do think it would be good if someone would do some kind of check on my hormone levels. Anyway, I feel very wobbly this afternoon but if I don't do something, nothing will change. 

Has anyone else tried this?





Hi Rosehip :-)

So sorry not to have spotted this before now, I doubt you'll even check that finally, somebody has responded. I', not often in this section of the forum. Anyway, to answer your question, I did have Psychsexual counselling a long time ago, long before CC, and I have to say that the counsellor got me back in the saddle with no difficulty.

Now however, in Greece, on a tiny island, we don't have such things. Post cervical cancer my sex drive has disappeared completely. It didn't all go at once, it petered out over the course of a couple of years. It was a combination of factors really; sex was just not the same anymore, my husband and I had HUGE relationship problems, plus menopause. I lost the will to try. I would like to think that Psychsexual counselling should work for anyone who actually wants it to.

If you read this, do let us know how you got on, if it worked for you. It would be really useful information for others reading this.

Hope all is well :-)

Hi - just came across this again and I nearly cried.

After the appointment I described above, absolutely nothing happened. I received a follow up letter from the female doctor which went to my GP which did not make sense 'she will like to be referred for counselling', but after what had been said I assumed that meant they had referred me. Well, nothing happened.

6 months later, next checkup, I get the doc I don't like again. I ask him how much longer I might have to wait to hear anything and he shrugs and says there has been no referral. I try to ask him about it and he says he can't discuss it with me because he is a man (!), so he sends me off to the CSN who is sympathetic but basically says there is nothing she can do, unless I want to come back for another chat in the nurse led clinic session. Don't really see what good that will do.

6 months later I see a different doc, the second in command consultant. He assures me that he personally will look into it and will make sure I either get a referral or a clear answer about what they can do to help me. This is in the letter that comes through to record our appointment. After that? Nothing.

So today, I go for my latest check, another 6 months on. See another doctor who seems nice, but I honestly don't want to discuss my non existent libido with yet another doctor. He won't let it go though. He asks me what has happened and I say nothing. He asks me if I have HRT. I say no. He brings in a newish CSN who starts explaining to me as if I am an idiot that a loss of interest in sex is normal after menopause. The doc interrupts to say 'she was asking for counselling' then they start talking about me as if I am not sitting there.

And that's when I lost it. I told them to just do my physical exam and let me go because I can't cope with any more. I tell them that I realise that they have other priorities and my dead sex life isn't one of them. They say that is not true, but why should I believe that? I remind them it is embarrassing and difficult for us to talk about and that it is worse to have to keep going over it when nothing happens. The doctor says 'but you have never seen me before!' he promises to ask questions about why nothing has happened. I am not holding my breath.

I was in tears and shaking and still had to struggle out of my hideous beige lymphoedema compression garments he could peer and fumble about up my fanny. Horrible.

I am now curled up in bed snivelling with a cuppa and my pusscat when I ought to be back in the office being all brilliant and efficient. I hate all that this sodding disease has taken from me and most of the time I deal with it. But not today. Today I just want the old me back.


I am so Sorry for how you are feeling Rosehip. I had my treatment last year and I too have lost my sex drive completely. I hate the thought of anything going near that area and I feel embarrassed by my body and whats been taken away from me. I'm 25 and my husband is so lovely about it but I know it makes things hard. 


Anyway enough about me I wrote on here to give you my love and kind wishes. I hope you start to feel yourself again xxx