Sex...and lack of it!

Before cancer me and my husband had a great sex life, were both young, me 29 him 33. But every time it comes down to it Post treatment I just can't stand him touching me at all. I cringe. I just don't want him anywhere near me at all. It's been months. I won't even kiss him anymore in case it gives him ideas and he tries to lead it on to other things. I don't know how to over come this or I feel I even want to over come this...I just get flashbacks to treatment and examinations and I just don't want that. I also think maybe menopause had quashed my libido too. Can we really live like this? Where can I turn for support? Xx 

I’m having similar issues. I’m finding penetration impossible. It hurts too much and it basically just doesn’t fit in. It is causing relationship difficulties and I can’t see how it gets any better. 

Im terrible at having examinations done and I’m really tense and upset. 

My GP referred me to psych sexual counselling. I’ve only had one session so far. So it may be worth asking for this. I waited 3 months for appointment. 

I understand how you feel. It’s horrible. 

Hi lboyle,


I'm having similiar issues too. I just can't bear the the thought of anything intimate at the moment. I try taking the pressure off thinking it will happen when i'm ready but then I worry about the impact of this on our relationship. I've tried asking my oncology nurse for some advice and support ad i think they offer counselling...i'm on a waiting list for it but i've not seen anything else.

It really is awful feeling like this, I do hope you manage to get some support. 

Hang in there lovely, something must be out there to help! 

sending love xxxxxx's been 2 years almost for me. I just can't face the thought of it plus I have absolutely no urge to either. If I was to be whisked off my feet by a Patrick Swayze look a like, I'd still not be interested.  

I was starting to feel like it was just me as no one seems to mention it much on here.  I had a chat with my gp about it and she more or less said that there wasn't much that could be done. I've also seen my clinical nurse about it but that didn't help much either. Let us know how you get on and what support you get.  I completely understand how you feel. Xx

Same here, diagnosed Oct 2017. Finished chemorads Feb 2018. 

I just see it as the *business* end...I dont want anyone down there, its not even is just I dont feel sexy anymore. I look a mess, I am constantly anxious. 

I fully expect he will look elsewhere eventually. I just feel like a total failure in every way.



I don't want to give up on it but can't see a way forwards some times. I did get offered couples counselling about mid way through treatment. Maybe at my 6 month check up I'll ask about it