Scared about sex after cancer

So I have been reading some of the older posts about not having a sex drive. I am extremely terrified of this. My husband and I have a very happy and have an active sex life. Due to the painful intercourse and bleeding, then the cone biopsy we have not been having sex in a couple months. I will be able to have sex in a couple weeks till my hysterectomy at the end of October. I know there will be recovery time before we can have sex again, but everything I am hearing and reading is scaring me that I may not want sex or be as into it. We are very happy and very supportive of each other however sex plays a big role in our relationship. Am I not going to want to have sex after this surgery? I am honestly in tears after reading some of these posts. Now I am afraid to have a hysterectomy because of the possibility of not wanting sex. I am only 35.

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Let me add I do not have HPV. I am one of the lucky ones who has cc without it. 

Hi Jen I had radiation treatment followed 6 months later with a radical hyster. The previous radiation made the hyster difficult and I did take a while to recover. Let me reassure you I am very interested in sex and capable of the same pleasures as before. I am post menopausal and 57 and it still hasn't diminished. It's a bit like eating your appetite is still there. You and your husband will be fine. In fact the periods of abstinence may make it sweeter. Jayne

Hi Jay

Thank you so much for answering. It did help put my mind at ease. It sounds like a silly thing but for me it is very important. I am glad to hear you are doing well and still into it. Thank you so much. This was a big fear of mine. 

Hi Jen

As someone who had exactly the same fear after being told by the consultant that it was a possibility I would lose my sex drive.  I can confirm that 4 months post radical hysterectomy and lymph node removal, I am back to enjoying a full and satisfying sex life with my boyfriend. In fact, it is the best it has ever been because everything we have been through has brought us closer together.

My consultant told me to try to remember that although there can be physical issues post treatment, a lot of the barriers to sex are psychological. I think having that in mind helped. I am 31, she said age is on your side if you are below 45.

I hope everything goes as well as it can for you.


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Jen, are you having your ovaries removed? I would have thought that at age 35 they would try to leave them and if this is the case then I really wouldn't worry. I had sex about 7 or 8 weeks after my op and was more anxious than I expected as I could still feel what I thought were sutures in my vagina (and now they have gone, so yes, i think my sutures were just very slow to dissolve). Because I was so anxious the first couple of times were fairly gentle and functional. The next time was more 'normal' but I felt sore the next day (abdominally) so that put me off for a bit. Next time was fine. My husband works away from home so we haven't had a change to properly test things out since my three month all clear.

However, thoughout the whole recovery, I have never really lost my sex drive and although we didn't have intercourse for a couple of months we did 'other things'. I do feel that my orgasms are a little less all consuming than before, but still very satisfying and it's a small price to pay really.

Thank you. I had my radical hysterectomy on Monday. Yes they removed my ovaries They took everything. I am in very horrliable pain. Even with the pain I am experiencing I am happy to hear others still have a sex drive. It is a big fear and now I feel much better. 

Thank you so much for answering.

I had a radical hysterectomy 6 weeks ago and although I cannot yet have penetrative sex (oral, yes), all external equipment works great!! In fact, not only did I have a drive I was now multi O unlike in the longer past (was alone for a long time though)! I am 67 and had already gone through menopause.