Absolutely Petrified

Good morning ladies.

I had a smear in august last year ( which came back as the nurse had forgotten to put my date of birth on) and then had to wait another 3 months before they could re-do it.

I had another one in november last year and then receieved my results to state "severe dyskaryosis"!

I have got an appointment for a colposcopy tomorrow morning at 9am and am absolutely petrified at what they are going to find.

Im presuming severe dyskaryosis is CIN3. If it is and they remove the cells there and then with LLETZ do they get sent off and do i have to wait for results?

What if it turns out to be CC and not CIN3 as they have first thought! 

I did completely the wrong thing and googled everything and now im constantly thinking the worst. I cant sleep, eat and feel completely sick.

I hope you ladies can give me some reassurance. xx

Hi Moo Moo,

I'm sorry you're in this position, but you have found the best place for advice and reassurance in Jo's. I know it's easier said than done (and I definately didn't listen to my own advice when I went for my colposcopy) but try not to panic, the chances of them finding CC are very small. You will have a wait for the results of your LLETZ (if you have one) and that can take 4 - 6 weeks. However, I asked the nurse what she could see at my colposcopy and she was quite honest with me about what all the bits meant (i was looking at the screen they can show you your cervix on... although only for about 30 seconds, it made me feel a bit faint!!) and she said that obviously she couldn't give me a definite answer but she didn't think it was any worse than CIN2. 

From reading Jo's I think if it does turn out to be CC (very small chance, use that as your mantra, although I guess you're like me and want to know everything for the worst case scenario to be prepared just in case :) ) the LLETZ may remove it all, you may need to have another LLETZ and they will probably send you for an MRI but you'll have a specialist nurse to talk to who will explain everything. 

I didn't eat or sleep properly for about 3 weeks and it took me a while to lose the fear (i don't even know what of, just a constant sense of dread, I seriously considered thinking about talking to someone professional about it but I calmed myself down eventually) but it will get easier, just get tomorrow out of the way and then go from there. 

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow, let us know how you get on, lots of good thoughts and hugs!! Becky x x x 

Hey love

I can only reiterate what Becky has said, we can all say dont worry but I managed to get myself in a right state - especially at work - my Boss must have thought I was going crazy!

She is right the chance of finding cancer is really small but you wont be able to get proper reassurance until you get the results back. Often they can give you an idea at the colp. my nurse thought it was cin3 and she was right. However, to be totally sure you will need to wait until you get the results of the LLETZ which hopefully will be done there and then! 

Good luck - sending lots of positive vibes




Hi moo moo,

I'm so sorry to hear how scared you are. It's completely understandable and I hope that this forum can work to make you feel a little better. There is so much stuff out there on the Internet it's difficult to know what to believe. Looking online was the first thing I did when I got my letter for colposcopy and I think it can make it a lot more daunting. At least here you know you're speaking to people who have all been in similar situations and can give the benefit of their experiences.

The first thing I want to do is to try and reassure you. No matter how scary things are try to look at the positives. You've had your smear, which isn't available in a lot of countries, and now you're in the hands of the best people to help you - whatever the outcome.

I had my first smear in October and this came back the same as yours - severe dyskaryosis. When you go for your appointment they're likely to talk through everything with you. What the smear results mean and what is likely to happen. They'll explain what treatment will be done if needed and how it'll all work. This in itself put my mind at rest a little as half the problem is not knowing what to expect. I did get explained that the whole point of the cervical screening process is to catch it before it develops At my colposcopy I had LLETZ treatment there and then. They put some solution onto your cervix to get a closer look and the nurses are so experienced they can usually give you an idea of what they can see. In my case they agreed that it looked like CIN3. The results do get sent away and like the post above I was told they are likely to take around 4 weeks. My nurse did say if I rang after 2 weeks they could check on the computer but I'm not sure if this is common practice with all NHS trusts. 

The last thing I want to do here is scare you even more but I think it'll help to give my experiences so you know it's not all negative. My results came back quite quickly as it turned out there were some CC cells in my results. However, the BIG benefit of having my smear meant it was caught super, super early and meant they could act as quickly as possible. The CC cells were right in the centre of my biopsy and small (1mm x 8mm). This meant chances were all of it was caught and removed in that first LLETZ. They referred my case to a specialist hospital in the area for a decision in the next steps. I was booked in for a repeat LLETZ as a way of checking for clear margins and the results came back last week as clear. I'm now on 6 monthly checkups. Although the experience wasn't the best in my life it's made me realise how lucky it was that I went for that smear. The point I hope is coming across to you is that by having your smear you've at least made a move to get everything treated and even if it does come back a bit rubbish it means they can hopefully beat the crap out of it quickly and with ease.

One thing you find on here is that there are a lot of different people who have been through a lot of different things but one thing we all have in common is that we know how terrifying it can be. I for one am here to talk to if you need to (send me a private message anytime you like) especially in those moments when you can't sleep. I hope it all goes well tomorrow. I'll be thinking about you.

K xx

thanks guys for your kind words. not particularly looking forward to tomorrow.  Have a banging headache that I cant shift and havr a feeling im going to be awake all night.  will keep u all posted xx 

wwll im back... had colposcopy and had lletz there and then. the nurse said it was cin3 but was confident she had got all the abonormal cells. said she wiuld send biopsy off and get result within 2 weeks to confirm it is definotely cin3 but as soon as its confirmed I will be having a smear in 6 months.

the nurses were so kind. theinjection stung ever so slightly but I didnt feel the procedure at alI  the treatment was over winthin about 2 mins. ive got rather bad period type cramps and my legs and back feel all achey but im so glad I went. thank u to all the girls on here for all your advice.

Hey love,

I'm glad it went ok. I hope you feel better after speaking to the nurse and having the treatment :) I don't think anything really puts your mind 100% at rest until you get the results but you can sleep a bit easier now having been seen and reassured by the nurse :) I think I had the best sleep in a long time the day of my LLETZ! 

Take the rest of the day easy (the anaethetic made me feel all spaced out, I still felt a bit... floopy?!...the day after too but I went into work so I didn't obsess/cry all day (with relief this time lol)) make sure you've got painkillers/hot water bottle/chocolate (/you favourite food) on hand, and snuggle on your sofa all day today :) 

x x x

glad it went well! agreed with Becky you wont be 100% happy until you have the letter in your hands - mine is still  on my notice board at home!! 

take it easy, I actually found the emotional side harder to get over than the physical side, so take your time x 

even though the nurse was pretty sure it was cin3 is there a chance the letter could  say otherwise 

Me too hula, I think so little is mentioned about the emotional distress related to CC it comes as quite a shock to find yourself crying at any little thing even after your LLETZ. My boyfriend did start to get annoyed with me and was a bit dismissive by the end of the 6 weeks, he couldn't get his head around why I was still affected by what had happened even though nothing 'bad' had happened and technically everything was ok now.

I'm not ashamed to say that I still sometimes have bad dreams and get scared at points but I've come to accept that this is totally normal and will get better in time (not going to lie, still bricking it about my 6 month check up in March, stupid unclear margins!!) x

even though the nurse was pretty sure it was cin3 is there a chance the letter could  say otherwise  and it ciuld be cc? 


Hey moo moo


I'm glad your colp and LLETZ are over and weren’t as bad as you’d feared.


I know what you mean about the wait though. After my colp (at which I had a biopsy but no LLETZ) I felt very positive and relieved. I didn’t really give much thought to the letter that was still to arrive…until a few days later, and I started worrying again! I’m not as bad as I was first time around (sleepless nights, high anxiety, generally driving myself – and my boyfriend - mad) but it’s been a month since my colp and I just want to know. I reason that if it was something bad they’d have contacted me within a week (seems to be the experience of those on here who’ve had to go through that). But…when they first sent me a letter inviting me to my colp they sent it to the wrong address as I’d just moved. So even though they should have the right address, I’m worried there’s a letter lying in my old flat.

I am going to give it till six weeks then call the clinic. In the meantime, as I walk home a dread builds and I am simultaneously terrified/hopeful that I’ll find an NHS envelope waiting for me…not been sleeping too well recently and I suspect that’s a big cause. Then of course if it is LLETZ, there will be MORE waiting! Grr.

I think with you, it sounds like they are very confident they got it and it should be totally fine. However, in the very unlikely event it isn’t, and it is cc, it’s extremely likely that it’s at a really early stage and can totally be treated. If it was more advanced, they would have picked up on it by now.

I’m trying to take my own advice and not let this worry consume my life again. Nothing is ever certain about what will happen to us, and at least we are so very lucky to have a free system that can pick up pre-cancerous cells well before they become anything more serious.

Take care- and take it easy, give your head a break from worrying and take Becky’s advice about favourite food and rest! xx


I still get that horrible feeling of dread every so often - bit paranoid it may come make!

As I was private they do a 4 month check instead so mine will be in March too, we can vitually hold each others hands!!

Cat x 

There could be a very very small chance it is CC but the likely hood is even if it was it would be at a really early stage. I think often they can see if it is more def CC esp when performing the LLETZ. sure it will all be fine

will have my fingers crossed for you


cat x 

I had my lletz yesterday. I had a BIG area removed took 5 needles, I'm terrified coz it was such a big area that means CC :-/ 

any advise would really be apprecated, hoping ur results come back clear :-) xxxx


I hope someone is able to give me some sort of reassuarance, I am having a really hard time coping. 

I recieved my letter to go for my smear when I was apparoaching my 25th birthday. I booked the appointment straight away as I’ve had persistent UTI (cystitis) over the years and some pelvic pain and lots of discharge (sorry tmi) I’ve had these things investigated and was told it could be due to my ectropian but the pelvic pain has never been explained and it comes and goes, tends to flare up when I’m stressed. 

Anyway, I went for my smear and it was fine.

got a call from the colposcopy clinic saying I needed to

come in for a colposcopy as I had moderate changes.

i broke down and was sent home from work. 

I went to the colposcopy where they had a look and took biopsies to be sent off. The nurses were lovely and so reassuring saying it’s very unlikely it could be cancer and that it looked like CIN 1/ CIN 2. 

I am absolutely petrified that this is cancer and all the symptoms I’ve had previosuly have been cancer. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat properly I’m continuously crying and trying to hide all of this worry from my 6 year old daughter.

i called the hospital 2 days ago and managed to speak to a nurse as I was in a complete state, she tried to reassure me but I’m so worried these symptoms I’ve had are cancer. I’m so scared of leaving my daughter :( 

sorry for rambling I just feel so alone with this x