Warts and a new relationship

Hello. I lost my virginity at 16 with a boy who took off the condom during sex without my approval. The next day i developed a single spot around my vulva that kind of looked like a skin tag. Looking it up on the web I concluded it must be a genital wart- i was so ashamed and didn’t tell anybody - even my mom.I had never been to a gynecologist and I refused to go to one later on because of the shame of this STI…The spot disappeared pretty soon so i thought i must be okay and now, 5 years later, I am 21 and i am having an outbreak and i have never been this anxious and depressed in my life.
Currently I am seeing someone who is not aware of this STI, because i was sure i had gotten rid of it after five years…
We have had oral sex -not during this outbreak but I am so afraid i’ve passed it on to him and now i have no idea how to handle this. I’m not sure how to tell him and even the thought of saying it out loud makes me cry. I have gone so far as to consider putting an end to the relationship so I don’t have to tell him or pass it on to him. I am aware that a lot of people have HPV but I haven’t been able to cope with this at all, I haven’t been able to sleep or eat at all since the second outbreak started. I still haven’t been to a gynecologist- i know it’s not a big deal but i feel like getting a diagnosis will make it real… i know it’s stupid.
And the things on the internet don’t make it better, i’ve read that people with HPV (the strain that causes warts) won’t ever be able to have unprotected sex without the risk of passing it to their partner- so does it mean conceiving children is out of the picture too? I just don’t know what to do anymore. I am building up the courage to go to the gynecologist and it somehow makes me feel as though this visit will only make it all worse. Is it even possible to not pass on HPV and warts to my male partner? What should i do? I know i sound desperate and probably very uneducated about this topic but i hope someone can answer some of these questions.

Hi @ucipuci

You really need to get this diagnosed properly hun, warts wouldnt develop after just 1 day then disappear shortly after, the incubation period for low risk strains is 1-8month+ after initial contact and if warts do manifest from an infection they normally take months/years to go away naturally… if it is warts, by the sounds of it, it didnt come from the person you think it did, despite what he did to you which is disgusting (some places consider that a SA) HPV needs to be active for a while before its issues manifest so you would of had it before this encounter

To answer your question though… unfortunately, there is no avoiding passing our strains onto our partners, as condoms dont actually prevent the transmission of HPV they only mitigate and you dont need to have full intercourse to contract it (HPV is transmitted through skin to skin contact), all sexual partners will share eachothers strains regardless of how much we try to avoid it, however most HPV infections are asymptomatic and most people wont know they have it, so its possible to pass our strains on without our partners ever manifesting anything from it

I really think its best you get this diagnosed properly, many people think they have warts based off Dr Google then when they actually build up the courage to go see a doctor it turns out to be something completely unrelated, you could be torturing yourself over something thats not related xx

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