Hi Ladies,
I am very new here... After diligent internet searching, I came across this site and realized how wonderful this and everyone here is. I would like to share my story and see if all of you wonderful women have any insight to my current situation.
I, like many of you, find myself in unchartered waters. I am absolutely and completely terrified. I had my first abnormal pap in 2014, found out then that I had high risk HPV which was crazy to me as I had been in committed relationship for the previous three years. Every prior pap I had, always came back normal and there was no evidence of HPV. That told me that my boyfriend at the time CLEARLY transmitted it to me, and that in and of itself was quite the shock. Anyway, they referred me to have a colposcopy. Naturally I was terrified, but of course I went through with the procedure. They took two punch biopsies, and I recall the immediate cramping being pretty acute and intense. They warned me of the usual weird "coffee ground" discharge from the medicine they put on your cervix to stop the bleeding and sent me on my way. Within a few hours I was perfectly fine, there was no bleeding and the discharge was exactly as they said. They called about a week later with the results and let me know that mild to moderate abnormal cells were detected and that no further action was needed at the time. I was 28, I am sure they just assumed that my body would clear itself.
Fast forward a couple years, I finally went back for a pap smear. Admittedly, I should have gone back the very next year... However, I live in the US and our health care is a joke. I didn't have health insurance for a few years as I could not afford it. Now that I finally had it, I made sure to go get my annual. I had my pap in 2017, they detected the high risk HPV again and referred me for a colpo. They did see abnormal cells again and took another punch biopsy. Same exact experience as my first colpo. It was uncomfortable, but bearable. Moderate cramping, but manageable. The procedure itself was less than 10 minutes. Got my results - pretty sure they were mild to moderate again. The only recommendation at this time was a follow up in a year.
Now here we are in 2018. I had my smear on October 9th, the results came back with the high risk HPV again, to which they said I had to have another colpo. I expected this much, so it was no surprise to me. On Nov 13th, I had my colpo. This experience was completely different than my other two. My gynocolgist inspected my cervix, applied the vinegar solution to see if there were any abnormal cells... She and the nurse were making nice small talk with me all the while. Then, as she saw the cells appear, her tone and manner changed. She stated she did find some and that she was going to take a sample. Me, being the curious person I am asked if it was in the same spot as before. She said no, that it had moved. If I remember correctly, she said that in 2014 it was shown to be in the 3 o'clock position, in 2017 it was at 1 o'clock and now it is at 3 o'clock again. No clue what that means, but I thought maybe the cells moving around is a good thing? That it didn't take root anywhere? Hahaha, I don't know. She applied the medicine to stop the bleeding, then asked the nurse for more swabs and more medicine. She had a hard time getting the bleeding to stop. I was there, legs up in the stirrups for going on 25-30 minutes now while she tried over and over again to get the bleeding to stop. I was absolutely petrified. Once she was able to get control of it, she finished up and then they let me get dressed so I can leave. I was so dang dizzy and lightheaded - however, I'm quite certain that had to do with my nerves and anxiety.
I got dressed and took myself home. As I was walking I felt like a tidal wave poured out of me, ladies... You know that feeling. I tried to ignore it as I just wanted to get home. As soon as I got home I went to the restroom, sure enough I bled through the pad they gave me and I just continued to bleed non-stop. Enough to make me panic. I phoned the doctor's office, they asked me to drink water and try to lay down and relax. If it persisted to go back so they can make sure I'm okay. I chose to just try and rest, even though the bleeding continued, it did manage to slow a bit. They told my I would get my results in 2-3 days, but chances are it is nothing.
This has never happened before. My other two colposcopies were walks in the park in comparison, why on earth was this one so different? Why did I bleed so much? Why did it hurt so badly? My first thought was that I am diseased. I mean think about it, a sick person heals slower. You cut a diseased area, it bleeds like crazy. It is a sure-tell sign that there is a problem. I am literally terrified and convinced I am well beyond the pre-cancerouos stage
On Thursday, two days after my procedure, I got the call. Instead of telling me my results, they phoned twice and left me a voicemail. I knew by the fact that they called twice that it was bad news. I just sat there staring at my phone, repeating "oh no... Ohhhh no." I called back, they stated that I needed to make an appointment to come into the office to discuss my results and a treatment plan. A TREATMENT PLAN. Any time they tell you that you have to come in to get your results what does that mean? BAD NEWS. Every other time they have given me my results by the phone. Not this time. I knew it. I just knew it.
My office visit is scheduled for the 27th of November and it cannot come soon enough. The holiday has put a real wrench in things as my Gynocologist is on vacation all this week. SIGH. I need answers. I need to know what is going on and what to expect. Has anyone had anything similar happen? Have you had colpos in the past that were pretty straight forward and "simple", then have a colpo with complications? Excessive bleeding?
I don't want to tell anyone besides my mum about what I am going through... Not until I know for certain. No sense in scaring my family and friends if this is all in my head. So as I mentioned, any insight would be greatly appreciated. Am I overthinking and over complicating this?
Thank you for taking the time to read. Sorry it is so long. I'm terrifed and I tend to ramble when anxious/upset.
