Hi ladies
so today I've just got home from my colposcopy and biopsy and for some reason I'm utterly overcome with emotion.
This isn't the first time I've been here, back in 2012 I had abnormal smear, followed by 3 colposcopy and biopsies as the results kept coming back as inconclusive, i paid for a private HPV test which came back clear, followed by 2 clear smear tests.
I hadn't intentionally been putting my smear off, I just assumed everything would still be ok (or maybe the fear that it wouldn't prevented me from attending I don't know) during the smear I bled a lot, so I had a sinking feeling it was back to the women's unit for me. The results came and it said mild abnormalities but now high risk hpv. After a day of feeling sorry for myself I've not really thought about it.
Today was colposcopy day and the nurse said the area looks small that's abnormal and took a biopsy but said my body should fight this again like it did last time.... so I've no idea why I'm feeling like I just want to go to bed and shut the world away. Has anybody else felt overly emotional after? i don't really know how to explain it... I'm normally such a tough cookie.
I don't think it helped that my particular women's unit is a shared reception with new excited expectant mothers and their partners... I was alone and the only person waiting for a colposcopy so i dont think that helped matters for a single 31 year old who owns a cat and has watched too much bridget jones in her life!