Uncontrollably emotional after colposcopy

Hi ladies

so today I've just got home from my colposcopy and biopsy and for some reason I'm utterly overcome with emotion. 

This isn't the first time I've been here, back in 2012 I had abnormal smear, followed by 3 colposcopy and biopsies as the results kept coming back as inconclusive, i paid for a private HPV test which came back clear, followed by 2 clear smear tests. 

I hadn't intentionally been putting my smear off, I just assumed everything would still be ok (or maybe the fear that it wouldn't prevented me from attending I don't know) during the smear I bled a lot, so I had a sinking feeling it was back to the women's unit for me. The results came and it said mild abnormalities but now high risk hpv. After a day of feeling sorry for myself I've not really thought about it. 

Today was colposcopy day and the nurse said the area looks small that's abnormal and took a biopsy but said my body should fight this again like it did last time.... so I've no idea why I'm feeling like I just want to go to bed and shut the world away. Has anybody else felt overly emotional after? i don't really know how to explain it... I'm normally such a tough cookie. 

I don't think it helped that my particular women's unit is a shared reception with new excited expectant mothers and their partners... I was alone and the only person waiting for a colposcopy so i dont think that helped matters for a single 31 year old who owns a cat and has watched too much bridget jones in her life! 

I totally understand,  I went through this whole colposcopy business back in 2000 (loop cin3) so doing it all 17 years later, I thought I'd feel the same. Oh no! I came out of the clinic feeling like I'd been hit by a truck. It took two weeks to surface. I couldn't focus on anything, I just wanted to hide away or sleep until the results came through. I'm still waiting but feeling more able to cope.

Sending hugs.

I am so with you on this. It's awful isn't it. I am normally so well controlled with anything medical and I feel traumatised, I don't know what's wrong with me! I'm bookedin for Lletz tomorrow and I'm dreading it :-(

It's invasive and you're ina  pretty vulnerable position going through the treatment, we're bound to feel a bit upset about it!

It's all for good though! Sending hugs xx

I had my colposcopy today and the nurse said virtually the same, small area of abnormal cells but biopsy done to check. I was Sick with nerves all night and before the appointment that today I think I’ve just been in shock that the appointment happened and although not dreadful news not all clear either and now a 4-6 week Wait. I was also on my own at the appointment and felt so alone ☹️

home now and having some wine to help chill out will watch children in need to release the Emotions. It’s been a tough day 


as as much as I’d love To hide until the results come I know I can’t so will try to be kind to myself as should you! Virtual hugs x