So emotional

I have my 1st colposcopy tomorrow and i wont lie im so not looking forward to it :( I had a lump on my breast last year which i had a cyst drained and 5 biopsy taken from another lump. I have been so emotional sunce i had the letter saying i had abnormal cells that that is all i have done is cry which is not like me. My partner has said that he cant understand what im worried about and have cried most of the night tonight and he has turned his back at me. I feel angry amd i dont know why? I feel confused and totally scared of the procedure. I dont think i have ever felt so scared for the last 3 weeks and thought of nothing else :( 

So sorry to hear how upset you are. I just got told that I have highly abnormal results from my pap smear (despite having normal pap smears my whole life as well as having the cervical cancer vaccine!) So I have to be referred to the hospital for a colposcopy also (but I have to wait for an appointment as u don't have private health so I'm being referred to the local hospital). It sucks that your partner is not being supportive of you....Have you spoken to anyone else about it? I'm trying to stay positive but I am concerned....to make matters even worse I have to have a colonoscopy on Monday for an unrelated issue - how awesome is that! (Not! ).

Anyway I think all we can do is remain positive and believe that everything is going to be ok....

Thank you for replying my gosh there was i worried about my colposcopy and you have to go through a colonoscopy too!! It really sucks being a women.  Thank god i found this forum otherwise i think i would have bonkers.  Im never emotional but ive cried loads this week. Im so worried about the procedure more than anything at the moment. My friend has been really supportive and is coming with me today. I dont think men understand to be honest. I got private health care but the appointment with the nhs came through in less than 6weeks so i cant go private. Ill be so glad whem today is over and done with. The vaccine didnt work for you then? Im trying to remian positive. fingers crossed for you on monday xx

Hi Harri

It is so scary when you first find out, isn't it?

The colposcopy is OK, it's really not as bad as you think it will be. I wrote a post after I had mine which describes exactly what happens. If you want to read it I think you can click on my name to see my posts and it's entitled "Scared ladies please read this" or something similar.

I hope that once the colposcopy is done and you know a bit more, you won't feel so bad. Remember to ask the consultant any questions that you need answers to while you're there. I asked mine what she expected the results to be based on what she had seen, and her estimate was pretty accurate, so you might want to do that too. At least that way you've got a bbetter idea of what you're dealing with.

hugs x x

Its horrible Moggsy im not usually emotional but crikey ive been a mess. Thank you for your post made feel a little bit better just want it over and done with now then i can deal with the results. I see your waiting for your Lletz i had a letter saying i may be offered treatment the same day which worried me even more. Are you having local or general for the treatment? I will definate ask that question thank you. Roll on 2.30pm and it will be all over with xx

Hi there

Yes, sometimes they do treat on the same day.They didnt for me because the consultant wasn't sure just by looking whether it was CIN1, which they would leave to see if it went back to normal naturally, or CIN2, which they would treat with LLETZ. They don't want to give unnecessary treatment, hence waiting on biopsies to be sure.

My consultant (who is lovely by the way, really kind) did offer me the option of GA for the LLETZ, but I am sticking with the local for a number of reasons:

- I've never had a GA so no idea how my body will react

- I am more scared of being put out than I am of the local!

- I'm self employed so no work = no pay, and GA might mean more time off work if I don't react well to it

- Most people posting on the forum say that LLETZ under LA is not too bad, no worse than the biopsies anyway, so I think I will be able to cope with it

My consultant has also said that we can plan for that and if I change my mind and decide I want a GA, even if it's on the day that I am going in for the LLETZ under local, it's OK we can rebook. She promises me that even if I decide to give it a go under LA and find I am getting to anxious, she will stop and we can rebook. That's really comforting because there's really no pressure. I am hoping that it all gets done under local though.

I will be thinking of you at 2.30 and keeping fingers crossed that all goes well for you. Pretty much everyone on here says that the staff are really kind and try to make it as easy for you as possible, so hopefully yours will too and your experience will be OK.

Best of luck, let me know how you do

x x

Im home well wat an experience had to wait ages for the nurse to call me through. Had to put a gown on then had to sit on the bed wait 20mins for doc to come into the room who said nothing to me, the nurse did all the talking the doctor didnt even in introduce herself. I was a complete nervous wreck!! The nurse told the doc i was nervous she didnt even look at me or say anything she put the speculum in and the solution the nurse told me i would need treatment and was i happy to have it done now i opted for general!! When i had biopsy for my breast i had a lovely lady doctor and she convinced me to go through with the biopsy and was lovely. If o had her today i may have gone through with it under local. Now waiting for a date didnt have biopsy no point going through that if i get put to sleep anyway. Large glass of wine i think!  Thanks for your support ladies xx

Blimey you poor thing - that sounds awful! I don't blame you for opting for a general after that, I think I would too.

My doctor is really nice and so are the nurses. Yours sounds like she should be in a different job.

Enjoy that glass of wine and I hope it helps you to get over what sounds like a pretty trying day x x