So my treatment plan is not what I expected. 6 rounds of chenotherapy starting on Thursday 13th December using drugs called;
Bevacizumab (Avastin)
Paclitaxel
Carboplatin
Says this is to slow growth of cancer, and to improve symtoms. If i respond well then it will be radiotherapy to blast it into oblivion.
I will be having it every 3 weeks.
Thought I would feel better once I have treatment plan in place. Was geared up for 25 radiotherapy and 5 cistoplatin this has just knocked me off my feet. Hair loss is now certain I feel absolutely gutted, and that it’s possible it may not work. So fed up, fed up of staying positive for everyone I dont know I can do this. I don’t want to lose my hair, I am gonna look awful. I hate this. I was fine with original treatment, but this I’m gonna have no hair by Christmas. I know what I’m like I wont wanna see anyone or go anywhere. I feel really really angry right now.
Hi honey I am so sorry that you are having a tough time I can't imagine how you must be feeling as you can see from my biog my journey was quite straight forward but I just couldn't bear to see your post unanswered. What I would say is it is exhausting trying to stay strong when you feel like screaming and crying so let it go and be more than a little selfish hang on to the anger and use it to bolster your fight it is all doable. Have the Christmas you want and if that is close family at home in pjs just do it. I hope someone can give you more specific help but if you just want to talk I am sure there are plenty of ladies on here who will be happy to help. Take care of yourself all my love x
Like Cherryelm, my diagnosis and treatment was the same as hers. I just want to send you lots of hugs and say so sorry for what you are going through at the moment. I was diagnosed on my birthday earlier in the year so know how it wrecks special times. I'm sure one of the other ladies will be on soon, in the meantime lots of love x
I know I already mentioned this but you would really benefit from moving to the advanced forum. Many of the members are on that combination or have had it. It is the usual combination for advanced cervical cancer. They will be able to support you and advise you right through.
Don't worry about the hair, it grows back! Focus on staying as well as you can for as long as you can.
Hi. I'm gutted for you that you've not having the treatment you'd hoped for. However, there's a good reason why you're getting the treatment you're getting - it's the one that's giving you the best chance to beat this thing.
I was diagnosed with stage 4a three years ago and although I didn't have the treatment you'll be having - I'm proof that there's a way forward.
Lots of ladies have gone through the treatment and come out the other side. No one is going to say its going to be easy But there's a good chance that it'll be easier than you think it's going to be.
I'm not going to try to put a cheery spin on things cos there's no point - you need to get yourself into that place in your head. I locked myself away from the world during my treatment - it's how I dealt with it. I do slightly regret it now as there were people around who could've given me support or at least made me realise that life was still worth living. You're still going to be you, people will want to help you so be honest with them - when they ask what they can do to help - tell them. Whether it's making you a meal, going to the shops, taking the dog for a walk - let them know xxx
Thanks for all kind messages - Karen I do have access to the advanced cancer forum so I will post on there guess I have been in denial for week that I’m advanced. It is stage 4a confirmed on a letter I got from docs.
I have through-out this been so positive but I thought 5 weeks and treatment would be done now it’s so much longer, means I can’t get back to work as soon as I thought and I’m miss career girl I was two years into a degree that I have aced about to start 3rd year when all this happened and I have had to defer. Like I say I have been so positive, I have set up a just giving page to do a sky dive when I beat this and in a week raised like over £800 for Jo‘a cervical trust and smear awareness and now I am thinking what if I don’t get to do this because I dont get better. I feel really angry at myself, like I brought this on myself. Why didn’t I just get a grip and go for my smears and I wouldnt be in this mess
Well 4A is good because there is hope in there and you can fight.
You sound like an intelligent, strong person. I t may sound harsh but I really do struggle to understand why women don't go for smears and I am sure plenty of others don't understand that either. You sound like an ideal person to raise awareness and try to get others to go. So I think you should be very proud of yourself for the parachute jump.
Once your treatment has started you will feel more positive. The treatment is doable and the cancer beatable. You have a fight on your hands but you can do it.
Unicorns in the advanced forum has similar story to you and having the same treatment although they have dropped the avastin now. It might be worth contacting her.
I see that I don't have access to your most recent post so you must be posting in advanced now. Please send my love to the wonderful woman in that forum and I am sure they will give you all the support it is possible to give.
Do please pop back in here from time to time to let us know how you get along
Oh my gosh, Helen, your comment about blaming yourself for not getting your smears broke my heart. Do not for a second thing that would have solved this for you. There are many of us on here, myself included, who got smears faithfull every year and still had to deal with this. I had a normal smear last year, with the cells from the area of transformation (exact spot you want them from), all came back normal. This year? A 4cm tumor with possible lymph node involvement, possible localized spread. So please don't beat yourself up. You're young and healthy and the survival odds include some very sick and very old people - you can beat this!
