Hi I’m new here and sorry in advance if this is not the right category but I’d really appreciate responses to help me get through this or just some advice. A short back story is my first time trying to have sex it hurt a lot. I know that it was probably because I was tense and nervous so my vaginal muscles were clenched a lot. But it never got all the way in. For the past 5-6 years now I haven’t really tried to have sex again. I’ve attempted with someone I trust but have been so worried about the pain that I was never able to fully relax. I could never and still haven’t been able to use a tampon. One time that I tried my ears started goin numb and all I could hear was fuzz and I became very light headed. Even fingering hurts to much by others or myself so I never do. Oral isn’t painful for me but I also bleed/get dark red discharge afterward which I’m confused about???I’m finally going to get checked out by my doctor and find a obgyn. But I am so terrified of getting a Pap smear. I’ve had two in the past that have always had terrible pain with even though it’s supposed to not be painful. And have never gotten in a speculum instrument. Any thought I have to either of those things bring me to tears even thinking about it. And I’m wondering if there’s any of you that have had any experiences or something similar to Vaginismus(what I think it could possibly be) and also about how to create a better environment for when I get a Pap smear. How you tried to work through the pain. Or steps you’ve gone through to relax yourself before a Pap smear. Or any advice or reassurance would greatly help me❤️ Thank you so much!
Dear Moonbby,
So sorry you’ve had such a horrendous series of experiences in this way. A lot of women are very nervous about gynaecological procedures, which are uncomfortable at best, but it really sounds like you will need a bit more help and you have some very basic issues that need help - first and foremost - to enable you to be examined. Have you talked to your doctor about this? Has your doctor talked about Vaginismus? Have you discussed the possibility of a sedative or some relaxant to enable an examination? This really needs to be discussed now, not when you go for your appointment. Please don’t be shy of telling your medical professionals of your fear and symptoms. They need to help you. I hope something will be sorted out to enable them to make sure you’re okay and help in you in the long term too with this painful condition. X
Hi moonbby
I can empathise about difficulties with having a smear (Pap) test and problems with speculum insertion albeit mine were associated with menopausal changes, plus I’ve never been able to use a tampon.
It’s good that you are going to get checked out by your doctor and are going to find a obgyn to exclude any physical problems.
My issues are a bit different to yours because I’ve had cervical cancer treatment and my vagina is now very small as a result. Nevertheless I was advised that I need to keep it in working order and for this I was taught to use dilators which can be used to help overcome vaginismus for example. I found it painful to use dilators and was referred to a women’s health physiotherapist and she taught me some very useful techniques as well as helping me to understand my body better.
One option for cervical screening is HPV self sampling which might mean not needing a smear test thus avoiding a speculum. HPV self sampling kts can be bought on line; if you test negative for HPV you don’t need a smear test for the time being; if you test postive for HPV then you would need a smear test.
I second Jacks’ advice not to be shy of telling the medics about your fear and symptoms and then they will be able to offer you the help you need.
x
Hello
Just to add to Jacks’ and Jazza’s advice; you might also find it useful to talk to Jo’s helpline or e-mail them and the Ask the expert service for further advice. The Eve Appeal also has an Ask the nurse service for all things gynae. Drs and nurses will probably have experience of advising people on how to cope in these circumstances. I’m so sorry to hear how upset you are. Please reach out to your medical team for help. It is a part of their job. Please don’t suffer in silence.
I hope this helps
A x
Hi. I have Vulvodynia, it sounds like you could come in this category. It is just an umbrella term for pain in the lady bits. Hope this helps Xx
Hi,
I can totally relate to your concerns regarding cervical screening. Having experienced one smear where I was informed had high cervix which made obtaining cell sample difficult followed by my next smear 3 years later where I was informed would need to use medium rather than small speculum as they are longer in length. During this appointment I experienced sharp pain which felt like a knife cutting into me. As a result I had to halt the appointment. I have just had a follow up appointment with a different nurse at my GP practice which involved a totally different experience. Having explained my concerns the nurse discussed using the smaller size and ran hot water on speculum and advised to place my hands in fists to raise myself up as I have tilted cervix which can make procedure more painful. This made whole experience much less painful and would definitely advise persevering and discussing with medical professionals ways of making experience more comfortable and less traumatic for youx
