Firstly I’m sorry for having another whinge and thank you for your patience and for reading.
This second cycle hasn’t been hugely different from the first other than I don’t hurt as much and I haven’t been as drained as last time.
This time it’s constipation for days and now that’s cleared its diarrhea that’s come completely out of the blue and side swiped me. Getting anything in is a challenge and it staying put even more so. I want to get up, shake myself off and get going again but I just don’t have the energy. 3 days in PJs on the sofa is the most I’ve achieved, and why oh why do the bouts of whatever always arrive in the middle of the night? Sleep…even that’s too much to ask for.
I’m having serious doubts about how much longer I can carry on like this. I’ve been told that as long as I can tolerate the side effects then the treatment can continue, which is all well and good but from day 1 struggled. I have a family and I’m now questioning quality over quantity. I could stay on this treatment for a year and just be like I am now. Or I could discuss other options, and take what comes.
Its so hard, there is no right answer and I wish there was. I just don’t know what to do and which way to turn :’(
Hi Erin,
what you are going through sounds really tough Erin, and it's not surprising you are wondering whether you can go on. I guess nobody but you can know what is best for you, but I do think that you will instinctively know when the time is right to look at the alternatives. Just when you think that you can't carry on it may all change and things may look up, and you may get some strength from somewhere. All you can do is to live each day and the next one will be different. Have courage and hope and keep "whinging" to us if that helps! Big big hugs xx
Oh Erin!
I am so sorry to read what a difficult time you are having. You come on here and whinge to us as often as you like.
(((((HUGS)))))
Rachel is spot-on, as usual :-) Only you can know how much of this you can take. Really hoping it all settles down soon and you can continue a bit more normally.
Lots of love
Tivoli
Hi Erin
sorry to hear you're not having a good time of it again Rachel is right only you can make that dicision wether to continue with the chemo it is hard it's a bit of a trial and error treatment the more side effects you have the more your prepared for the next session
I had constipation the 1st time so I now eat a high fibre diet a couple of days before the chemo and on the day of chemo and a couple of days after or ask your consultant to prescribe something ready for next time
so what if you've been in your pj's for 3 days you've earned it i have a least 2 days when I come off the steroids where I'm physically tired and just do little and often it helps that I have a good circle of friends and a sister that come round on those 2 days we call it a girly get together they bring the food and drink they do my nails they've even been known to do my ironing and washing for me as I have 2 boys well there 24 and 20 but there not domestic goddesses lol
i hope you start to feel a little bit back to normal soon and have at least a couple of weeks of normality
whatever you decide to do keep us updated were all fighting together
onwards and upwards
love Michelle xx
Hello Erin I know chemo is tough having had 6 months of it. 3 days in PJs seems fine to me. I did very little for 4 months some jigsaw puzzles, a bit of gardening. I made no demands on my self How could I? And neither should you. Your decision is not an easy one. My children are the same age and it is a relief to know I have raised them to adults. Although they still feel like children to me. Chemo is hard I hope your diarrhoea settles down and you can get some sleep. Everything seems more tolerable with sleep. Even when it was really bad I was aware of small pleasures like birds singing. These things reminded me why I was fighting so hard. For me it paid off clear scans etc and even if it only gave me time it was worth it. Jayne
Hi Hun please excuse any spelling typing mistakes I'm typing this with one had as my naughty cat has decided she wants her ears rubbed!
Your journey with the chemo sounds a lot like mine I was bad from day one, I had sever pins and needles in my feet after the 1st treatment my feet felt like they were on fire but also frozen at the same time I couldn't walk and would cry because they hurt so much! I also couldn't stop being sick, eating anything was a mirical and actually wanting something to eat and enjoying it was the best thing in the world! getting to sleep was a mission and still is nownsometimes I say typing this at almost 4am!, then when I went to bed (I slept a lot on the sofa with the sad cat), walking was a mission and a half, i use to go weeks without having a poo and when I finally did go it would be at stupid o'clock and I would be screaming and crying because it hurt so much then my stomach would go every half an hour with diorrea, I also had incontenance wherw the cancer had shrunk (only know 3 months ago) it had caused a hole in my bladder to my cervic which can't be fixed, I had mouth ulcers, dry itchy skin, i lost all my hair, exshausted omg! i was so tired all the time! I would fall asleep without knowing and then wake up, good job my cats like sleeping and my cat fifi would always be by my sofe when I woke up - almost gusrding me bless her....
i had a lot of other syptoms too but can't remember them all....I'm telling you this because it is going to get worse before it gets better and it is worth going through for you to have any kind of quality of life - I have advanced cancer and my tumour was so big chunks were falling away from it and you couldn't see into my cervix or past there is now only traces of cancer, I will never be cancer free but it's being managed now. So don't give up I know it's hard it is the hardest thing you will ever do but you'll be pushed to breaking but you'll bounce back - i got through it refusing to be a victim and for my nieces. When I was practicslly crawling the corridors to go to radio I would think of my nieces and that I was almost done with it and then I could get on with my life....
i have side effects and issues still connected from my cancer - re my bladder I'm now having to have a permant bag attached to me as the hole can not be fixed and wearing pads for almost 2 years has ruinned me so I've made the decision (kind of only one I have) to do this and I've had to take a year out of work to 'get normal' but I've got a holiday at the end of Feb for my 30th to look forwwrd to!
Dont give up your stronger than you think dx
Hi Erin
hope you have managed to have at least a week of normality
not sure what decision you've made but if your still having the chemo mix then I hope tomorrows cycle is a little bit better I know yours is usually on the Tuesday as mine is on the Thursday
keep us informed
onwards and upwards
love Michelle xx
