So Scared!!


I went to see my GP last Thursday (05/11/15) to discuss the excessive/long/heavy periods I have been experiencing lately.
I also mentioned about stomach cramps and bloating and said I suffer with IBS so not sure if it was connected or something else altogether.
GP examined me internally with speculum and advised that she wanted to refer me for colposcopy quickly as my cervix looked “red”.
I have been out of my mind with worry and have also felt around and can feel a pea sized lump on the side of my cervix.
I have been sent for bloods and also scans (which I suspect will be for ovaries).
My colposcopy is this Friday, and feel sick at the thought of going.

I am so scared they are going to tell me its cancer.
I am married and have 2 small children who are 7 and 3, and thinking of them growing up without a mum terrifies me.

I know I probably sound dramatic, but just wish I could have the colp sooner to take me out of my misery.

Hey, so sorry you are also on this rollercoaster.  My colp is in 2 days and like you, the waiting has been and still is awful.  Hopefully the consultant will be able to put your mind at rest on Friday.  Best wishes x

I know how you feel, I was literally petrified when I was told I needed a colposcopy and was convinced they were going to find the worst! The doctor called me 1 week after my smear telling me I needed to go and see her, I begged her to tell me on the phone which she did, I went straight there to collect results which didn't read well. I called the colposcopy unit straight away to make an appointment to which i was told it had already been made for 1 weeks time. The next day I called again explaining I couldn't cope  , they were amazing and asked me to go in that day!I know I was extremely lucky they were able to offer this but might be worth trying to get it done sooner if you're worrying so much? Hope it goes well.

I've literally only been on this white-knuckle ride for 2 weeks and I want someone to stop the ride because I want to get off.

I had my smear on 1st September and thought it was odd that I had a small bleed afterwards. Nevertheless I put it to the back of my mind.

As you can see from my signature below the time delay for receiving smear results in Wales is looooong!  In fact I had forgotten all about the test until the dreaded result landed on the door mat.

What I suppose I really couldnt cope with is how vague everything seemed.  I had a letter just saying "An abnormal result" and "you will receive a letter with an appointment to attend a colposcopy clinic" and "you might be treated on the day".  I was gutted at the result and a little nervous about what lay ahead.  Three days later, whilst at work I received a phone call from the hospital wanting to arrange the appointment.  This sent my mind racing.  Why were they calling me? what was the urgency - the first letter said they would write?! The appointment was booked for 10 days time.

Fast forward 7 days into this waiting time and I had drastically decreased my life expectancy through the stress!!  I couldnt sleep.  I all of a sudden had got really sad and scared about the whole thing.  I was even starting to think about funeral arrangements and the like!!  All the while thinking "this is rediculous you're 31, get a grip".

I was fed up of people like my mother saying "you'll be fine" - Based On What??????!!!!

I went to the GP in floods of tears which was probably the best thing I did as he told me the smear had shown moderate dyskaryosis.  He reassured me that now I was in the system I would be "looked after".  Why didnt they put all this in the leaflet / letter??!!

Anyway.  turned up at colposcopy last friday - like a rabbit in the headlights.  If I could have, I would have run out of there!  However, after talking with the consultant I felt a little more "ok"  and the nurses assisting were marvellous.  There are certain times in life where I need to be spoken to like a 4 year old and that is one of them.

They decided to perform the LLETZ at the same time and I started to panic.  particularly when she mentioned the heart racing from the anaesthetic.  I went into full panic saying "you cant make it race any more! Its been racing loads all week!! Surely it will go pop!"  They put me right at ease (well as good as!)

I'm now waiting on the result of the biopsy and she said I should go back to 6monthly smears all being well.  I was just glad to be rid of the hijacker truth be told! 

However.... recovering from LLETZ...... I feel dirty and disgusting.  The colour seems consistent but after about an hour or 2 I can smell it!  I think part of it is that I havent used Sanitary Towels in about 15 years so my senses are heightend!  Sound familiar to anyone?

Anyway - its been reassuring reading other people's stories so wanted to say thanks to you all too :-)

It is such a scary time and the waiting is Definitely 1 of the hardest parts. 

I had my first abnormal smear Nov 2014 and had a colposcopy and lletz treatment for cin 2.  At my 6 month smear my smear was clear but as I stiil had the hpv virus I had a colposcopy and there was more abnormal cells (cin 3) so another lettz. On Saturday I received my 6 month smear results and yet again I need a colposcopy. The last year has been full of dread at waiting!! 

But you are not alone, it is a very scary time but fingers crossed everything works out well for you xx 

Hi All,

Thanks for all your comments and messages.

I had the colposcopy last Friday and all was fine.

They put the dye on and nothing showed up.

Consultant said my cervix looked normal.

He said I was referred as my cervix was bleeding when GP had put speclum inside, but it did take her about 5 minutes to catch sight of my cervix!!

So my worrying was for nothing.

I feel so relieved and grateful that I have had this outcome.

Thanks again for your words of support and good luck to you all xxxxxxxx