I've literally only been on this white-knuckle ride for 2 weeks and I want someone to stop the ride because I want to get off.
I had my smear on 1st September and thought it was odd that I had a small bleed afterwards. Nevertheless I put it to the back of my mind.
As you can see from my signature below the time delay for receiving smear results in Wales is looooong! In fact I had forgotten all about the test until the dreaded result landed on the door mat.
What I suppose I really couldnt cope with is how vague everything seemed. I had a letter just saying "An abnormal result" and "you will receive a letter with an appointment to attend a colposcopy clinic" and "you might be treated on the day". I was gutted at the result and a little nervous about what lay ahead. Three days later, whilst at work I received a phone call from the hospital wanting to arrange the appointment. This sent my mind racing. Why were they calling me? what was the urgency - the first letter said they would write?! The appointment was booked for 10 days time.
Fast forward 7 days into this waiting time and I had drastically decreased my life expectancy through the stress!! I couldnt sleep. I all of a sudden had got really sad and scared about the whole thing. I was even starting to think about funeral arrangements and the like!! All the while thinking "this is rediculous you're 31, get a grip".
I was fed up of people like my mother saying "you'll be fine" - Based On What??????!!!!
I went to the GP in floods of tears which was probably the best thing I did as he told me the smear had shown moderate dyskaryosis. He reassured me that now I was in the system I would be "looked after". Why didnt they put all this in the leaflet / letter??!!
Anyway. turned up at colposcopy last friday - like a rabbit in the headlights. If I could have, I would have run out of there! However, after talking with the consultant I felt a little more "ok" and the nurses assisting were marvellous. There are certain times in life where I need to be spoken to like a 4 year old and that is one of them.
They decided to perform the LLETZ at the same time and I started to panic. particularly when she mentioned the heart racing from the anaesthetic. I went into full panic saying "you cant make it race any more! Its been racing loads all week!! Surely it will go pop!" They put me right at ease (well as good as!)
I'm now waiting on the result of the biopsy and she said I should go back to 6monthly smears all being well. I was just glad to be rid of the hijacker truth be told!
However.... recovering from LLETZ...... I feel dirty and disgusting. The colour seems consistent but after about an hour or 2 I can smell it! I think part of it is that I havent used Sanitary Towels in about 15 years so my senses are heightend! Sound familiar to anyone?
Anyway - its been reassuring reading other people's stories so wanted to say thanks to you all too :-)