New and Scared

I’m 45 married and mum of 3 (22D 17D 9S)
I’m a complete mess just now. Got my letter on Saturday to say that my smear had shown high grade dyskaryosis and that I would need a colposcopy. Letter this morning to say my colposcopy will be next Friday at a completely different hospital to the one I am already under for PCOS and my thyroid amongst other things. I had said if anything showed up then I wanted to go to the same hospital as I’m already under as they have all my notes past ops etc. Phoned my drs and the receptionist said we’ve nothing come through as yet so just phone the hospital that you want to go to and ask them to see you. Erm as if they would take my word for it without a referral? ?

I was meant to see my gp on Monday just gone but it was cancelled as she was off sick and moved to next Tuesday. The reason for booking the appt was because my supposed IBS has got a lot worse and I keep losing control of my bladder. I did see one of the other gps about a year ago re my bowels and she dismissed my concerns as just IBS and to just get on with it. It did settle for a while but has been getting steadily worse and I have strange pains and a pressure in my back as if someone is pushing on it.
I’ve mentioned the pressure in my back but it’s been put down to my Fibromyalgia.

Absolutely petrified now that symptoms have been ignored too long.

I try to just get on with things push through my pains and not let my fibro take over but have I ignored too much?

My eldest daughter is a student nurse (children’s) and I am heading over to where she is at uni to spend the day with her tomorrow. I spoke to her at the beginning of the week and played everything down so as not to worry her but to give her the heads up that if my appointment came through for Friday I would need to rearrange. And she started telling me that one of the nurses at her last placement had mild abnormalities on her smear and it turned out to be stage 1 womb cancer. This is what’s petrified me dp much as I lost my uncle to bowel cancer, and I’m now thinking I should have pushed for more tests a year ago when the Dr said it was just IBS and piles

My middle child is on the Autistic Spectrum so needs a lot of my time and energy and it’s looking like my youngest might be as well so I really don’t have time to be ill myself.

Arghhhhhhhhh I hate not being in control of my emotions.

Edit * Colposcopy now brought forward to Tuesday 26th

Brown owl thinking of you tomorrow xx 

Had my colposcopy this morning and they have done LLETZ  and it took quite a while. The Dr didn't really talk much but the 2 nurses were lovely. Up to 4 weeks for the results.  The cramping has really kicked in but I have my Neice and hubby looking after me today. Feel a bit strange and keep going light headed but not planning on doing much for the rest of the day 

Was thinking how you got on. Mine was the same with the nurses being lovely.  I am getting lots of pain and feeling of being sick hoping it will pass. Hope you feel back to normal soon xx

I felt a bit strange on and off for the first 24 hours and was quite crampy.  But not too bad now. My BIL head a heart attack yesterday though and doesn't look like he will see the end of today so I've not got time to be feeling ill. Hope you're feeling better xxx

Oh sorry to hear this. Yes much better now thank you.big hugs xx