Wasn’t sure where to post this but this section seems to get more traffic than the Relationships board.
This is quite TMI so I just need somewhere I can share without worrying, with people who ‘get it’.
I had LLETZ for CGIN in April, it wasn’t an easy procedure and I felt quite a bit of it (ouch) and had a bad physical reaction to the whole thing.
Since then I’ve been really struggling with anything relating to sex, it’s like that part of me has been completely switched off and I just don’t feel like myself or connected to my body at all anymore.
Whenever things start heading that way with my partner I’m into it at first but then suddenly get really upset and panicky and have to stop. Physically I’m fine and healed but emotionally it feels like a huge block, so we haven’t even got as far as actually having sex.
This is really getting me down, I have no idea what to do or if there’s even help/counselling for this kind of thing, but I need to do something to stop getting stuck in my head with it and move forwards.
My partner is lovely and very understanding but i have no idea how to explain this to him. I’ve experienced sexual trauma with an abusive ex previously so find this difficult to talk about.
Has anyone else had a similar experience, did you make it though to the other side of it eventually? Much love to anyone else on this journey x
Hey lovely. I just wanted to reach out and say that you are far from alone with this - so many people feel the same after LLETZ. It’s an invasive procedure which is obviously completely necessary but that doesn’t change the complexity of emotions it can throw up. This whole situation can make us feel vulnerable and exposed and we’re all bound to be anxious about what happens next. I would cut yourself huge amounts of slack. Don’t expect too much of yourself, give yourself some time and space and maybe someone at Jo’s Trust could suggest someone you can talk to if you feel things aren’t getting easier. I just wanted you to know that lots of people feel the way you do and you’re not alone with it. X
Ah thank you so much, that’s a lovely message. It’s weird, i wish i was in this alone so nobody else had to go through it but at the same time it’s a big comfort not to be. Just being able to write it down has helped me start to organise my thoughts a bit. Good idea about seeing if Jo’s can point me in the direction of someone to talk to x
You are so aware of and articulate about your feelings, I know you’ll find a way to organise your thoughts and come out the other side. None of us can underestimate the enormity of all of it, physically and emotionally. Just be really kind to yourself and patient with yourself and I wish you all the best for all of it. X
Hi. I know I’m very late seeing this but just wanted to give you a wave and say yes!!! I had my LLETZ last September and I’m still struggling with this. From having a huddle of 3/4 nurses around me and what sounds like pretty much the same experience as you with the pain of the procedure, I also seem to have a mental block and tensing up whenever my partner comes anywhere near me. I also never had issues with my smears previously and the one I had 12 weeks ago was suddenly agony.
It does get better after time though. You just have to keep trying, but don’t pressure yourself. Your brain needs to start linking your downstairs with positive feelings again instead of these surgical ones. My body is finally getting back on track. I hope yours does too <3
Thanks for sharing your experience too @Tootz (I took some time away from the forum so only just saw your post), although I’m sorry to hear you’ve struggled with similar things. It definitely just takes some time and care doesn’t it. How are you feeling with things now?
I’ve just been for my 6 month smear which has brought a lot of it back up, but hoping the recovery should be easier this time.
Rachael hello im new on here i had lletz procedure done 6 weeks ago hpv high risk and cin2 cell changes still waiting for results driving me crazy… i will apologise in advance for tmi i was wondering if anyone has been through thus or similar i have had sex with my husband and i have no feeling down there it was like numb didn’t feel him at all and then afterwards i started cramping which lasted 2 days i now dont feel like being touched at all anywhere in a sexual way i dont no what to do is this the end of intimate for me
