Self esteem after LLETZ

Hello everyone,

I have been on and off this website a few times this last few weeks, prior to that, only occasionally (I'll explain in a moment). 
I had my smear test done 22nd February and my results came back showing HPV+ and CIN3. I went for a colposcopy 19th March and had 1cm removed having LLETZ done, then had an infection from that, which took two doses of different antibiotics to clear, and just had my results to say they have downgraded me to CIN2 and need me to return in 6 months for another check up.

Before having my smear, I have had continual warning signs which I have been in frequent contact with the GP and Nurse about, regarding erratic bleeding, but more so after sex, during sex, and just anywhen in between! I would also find myself feeling, more than not, uncomfortable when having sex. They always told me the bleeding was due to my implant contraceptive. 

Now, the implant is due for removal and I've been changed to the pill, the nurse gave me one that I don't take a break from so in turn, no periods. I'm not sure this is the best thing to do?

Moving on from my history (sorry, essay!) , I just wanted to know how many ladies, just generally felt incredibly rubbish after having LLETZ done, as I'm sure I'm not the only one. 
I feel so low, I have become increasingly insecure in my relationship (he says stop worrying! If only it were that easy!) and I feel so tired all of the time! I have been constantly bloated since, I feel uncomfortable too from having to wear pads all the time recently, Sleeping pattern gone up the wall too!

 I feel as if my self esteem has just dived flat to the floor and, like me, has no energy to even attempt to get back up! 


Jo x

Hi lovely,

 

It's still early days. Please give yourself time to heal, both physically and mentally. It is such a lot for us to be going through. There is a lot of research out there about the psychological impact of colposcopy and treatment. You can also request to be referred to a counselling service.

 

Also Jo's helpline is really amazing if you feel up to giving them a call.

 

Keep taking care of yourself both physically and psychologically and give yourself time xx

I'd absolutely agree. 
I haven't been called for llletz yet, though is a probability 

I have all the same symptoms as you, both physically and mentally. 

I asked for counselling from work as am a mental health nurse. I feel that some of my more destructive relationships are coming back to haunt me perhaps in physical form. 

Try to be kind to yourself and keep posting here if you find it helpful x

Thank you ladies. I am now finding myself anxious for 6 months time, to see if it has progressed again. 
I think we all like to be, or it could just be me, that like to be that one step ahead, knowing the outcomes of each possibility, if it's progressed etc.. so I have some form of control I suppose.

I did have a bit of a break down to my other half the other night, I have a few other health problems too and feel as if every time I go to the doctors or hospital, another part of me is broken, or being taken away. It's knocked me for six that's for sure. Finding myself getting overwhelmed very easily too, which isn't helpful when you're still trying to battle on each day.

Jo x

Hi Joanna827,

Sorry to hear you're finding things hard at the moment. It sounds like you're really going through it. Have you considered speaking to your GP about counseling? Also, have you tried ringing the helpline here to talk through things? I found them to be so helpful and reassuring when I was struggling with things.

Lots of love,

Xx

I speak with the mental health nurse once a month from my  GP surgery already, and I was referred last year for counselling through the pain clinic prior to this, but of course because of covid, everything has been very delayed. 
The nurse from my gp surgery just kept telling me to remind myself that I need to be kind to myself, but I find that just really hard in itself to do?! 

Ive only just started bleeding properly the last few days and it was 4 weeks ago I had LLETZ done, but I have had the results back at last and I've been downgraded to CIN2 and confirmed what they took away wasn't cancerous, but that it was a significantly abnormal. So phew, but still need to go back in 6 months. Xx

That's great news Johanna827.

I hope you are feeling a bit better now you have some clarity about your lletz results.

Lots of love,

Xx