Scared that CIN3 (or worse) is back

Hi ladies. I am looking for some support or advice as I'm feeling quite alone and worried. The  back story is that I always had normal cervical screening/PAP results until 2010, when I had a "borderline" result. I was 27 at  the time. Around the same time I had been bleeding after sex but GPs kept saying it was cervical erosion/ectropian.  After visiting the GP many times about this I finally got referred for colposcopy. It was very scary for me as I'd always found smear tests traumatising (since a nurse acted unkindly and unsympathetically when she did a pelvic exam when I had pelvic inflammatory disease/PID at age 15).I had the biopsy done at the hospital and it came back as CIN3. I had the LLETZ. Thankfully after that my results came back with "clear margins" and since then my HPV tests have come back negative and my smear tests normal.

After the LLETZ treatment in 2010 the postcoital bleeding totally stopped... until now. My last cervical screening test was nearly three years ago, because I was put back on three yearly screening after several "normal" tests, negative HPV. I am due my next one in May this year. Since December I have been bleeding a lot after sex again and having some other (too much information) symptoms. I think I might be getting anemic as I'm feeling quite unwell and bleeding consistently (if lightly) more days than not.

My GP has referred me for tests. I am going private and have an appointment with a consultant on Thursday. I am scared because in 2010 my "borderline" smear quickly progressed into CIN3 at the biopsy. This really makes me question the whole "abnormal cells take many years to turn into cancer" line and/or question how accurate cervical screening is (on my cervix at least!).

I know I just need to be patient and wait but I'm feeling so lonely and worried. I haven't spoken to anyone about it apart from my husband. I don't want to worry family unless there is definitely something seriously wrong. 

On top of all of this I've been having fertility issues. I'm now in my mid thirties and I'm so scared that a) I might die of cancer soon or b) I will not be able to have children if I need treatment again of some kind. All around me friends seem to be having beautiful babies and I feel so sad and envious.  I always dreamed of having a baby girl.

I know I'm getting way ahead of myself and going down a worry spiral but any support would be so welcome.

L xx


Oh gosh you poor thing. So sorry to read what you’re going through and I think you’ve done the right thing going private. 

I hope you don’t have to wait as long as on NHS. 

Ive been told my post coital bleeding was caused by an ectropion and I have abnormal cells low grade but at the Colposcopy a few days ago he did a punch biopsy. So like you I’m wondering how accurate the smear results are. 

Sorry I couldn’t give any advice, I just didn’t want to read and run. 

How did your appointment go with the consultat?