Radical Hysterectomy next week :'-( (children mentioned)



I'm new this evening.  I was diagnosed last week with CIN3 Adenocarcinoma CC following an abnormal smear test and biopsies.  I know now I had been suffereing for quite some time with pain and bleeding after sex and general pelvic pain - i have PCOS so thought it was that but gynae dismissed everything last year - he didn't even do a smear just in case.  I'm struggling with having my fertility ripped away from me and this all moving so quickly.  I had years of ferility issues and needed ovarian drilling to catch with my first son who was then born prem and suffered loads of complications.  Then I was lucky enough to go on to have another boy 3 years ago, but had lots of complications so was induced early.  Despite my body not dealing well with babies, I just feel my whole female existance is being ripped out next Thursday.  I feel so blessed to have my babies, it's been hell to get them.  But i feel so heartbroken about never having the option to carry another.  My partner never wanted more kids (he has 3 others), it's caused so many arguments between us and I had always said I wanted more.  I'm trying so hard to bite my tongue and refrain from telling him he's got what he wanted now...but thats how I feel.  I cant help but feel angry that we have spent the last two years arguing about having another baby and now it's too late.  I'm so scared of turning on him after my op next week.  At the moment things are moving so fast, but it wont hit until next week and i know i'm going to fall apart.  I am very lucky, i'm blessed with my boys.  Just dread the grieving process.  Any tips to help me through? x

Huge huge hugs honey, please know you are not alone. I know there is nothing any of us can say that will make it 'better' or 'easier'.

i am fortunate not to be in your position but can feel exactly how devastating it must be for you.

This place is safe for you to say whatever you need to say, share whatever you like, nobody here will judge you. i'm sorry i have no advice apart from the fact i think your partner needs a kick in the unmentionables. you need him and i don't see why you should have to bite your tongue. this is your body, your womanhood, you have every right to be angry.

much love and i hope everything goes alright. please don't suffer in silence.

jo x

Hi, I'm in the same situation as you. I am also lucky to have two children and although we never planned another I also feel very sad about having the option taken away. I think it's natural for a lot of women and even friends that I've spoken to that do not have children (out of choice) have said that they would feel the same if they were told they had to have surgery. I'm having a hysterectomy on Thursday and I've been up and down so far this week. Last week I wanted to cancel the whole operation as I really wasn't sure. I don't really know what advice I can offer you but I just wanted to let you know that I know how you are feeling. I often feel guilty and a bit greedy as there are many women who are not as lucky as us to even have one child. I just think to myself that I'm lucky to have 2 healthy children (I also suffered complications with my second and he was born a month early). I know a third baby for me would be high risk, of course this doesn't make it any easier. 

I hope everything goes well for you next week X x 

It is so very difficult to come to terms with I have one son and I've just come to believe he was meant to be For me, just us and it was a miracle or damn good luck I had him when I did. I'm just past the hysterectomy and physically recovering but I feel it will take a lot longer for the emotions and almost a grieving process to kick in. Main focus for me is im kicking it's butt one step at a time and I'll be here for the baby I do have :(( mixed emotions but you'll get xx