Please help, i am very anxious

Hi, I had a smear test on 19th of july.. the gp called me 2 weeks later , she said to take someone with me.. she printed my smear test results ( high grade dyskaryosis, ?invasion squamous carcinoma). I fellt like i am gonna die...been a week and i feel so low.... i HAD black and suicidal thoughts as well, everyone annoys me, can t eat..can t sleep.. I am 25, I had my smear test at the end of 2015 in my country, not Uk, which was clear and good... I am just thinking now it was an error and maybe it was abnormal in 2015 too.. I do not have children yet, I am thinking the worst, i want children in the future. I HAve abdominal pain, back pain and dull pain, my lower side left and right hurts..( ovaries area). My period was normal, no abnormal bleeding, no pain when having sex, no unusual bleeding or discjarge..but stll scared.. words like invasive carcinoma gave me panick attacks..i have my colposcopy wednesay, so emotional

Hi i'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. Have you gotten your colposcopy yet? I am not in the same situation but i really can feel for you. I have every single cervical cancer symptom, had a smear in May which came back normal but when i went for my transvag ultrasound they found my endocervical lining is very thickened ( not a good sign) I just turned 24 today ( august 30th) and i have a 3 year old. Such a terrifying process :( I'm thinking of you!