I've just found this forum today & have to say that despite distracting me from work for a hour - :) it's been so helpful to just hear people in roughly the same boat! by other half is amazing but can only do/say so much.
Had a few smears, always normal, last one came back as HPV+ and mild dysk, I worried obviously but then had my colposcopy & biopsy where the staff were lovely & supportive. The colposcopist took the biopsy, and said that she could only see very small changes,hoped I wouldn't need treatment but not a guarantee.
I managed to stem my normal levels of anxiety and assumed I'd clear the HPV, prob not need treatment & that was it. Got my letter last week saying CIN2 detected and I was booked in for June to be checked again with probable Lletz (sp?) that day. I've been pretty shaken by it and am now thinking far to far in to the future...
While I know logically that its better to find it, treat it and that it will most likely all be taken and the HPV will be cleared naturally eventually. I can't help feeling like this is a "whole new way of life". I feel like everything will be on hold until I'm "properly all clear" if that time comes...Its less that I worry that what I have is life threatening but more "life-style" threatening - ie my previous lifestyle of being healthy & happy is no more. Even though I know the likelyhood is that things will get better. - I hope that doesn't sound dramatic or selfish.
My partner is being awesome and saying "whatever happens, we'll face it together" but I'm just feeling gutted that we're having to & fearful of what could be... He's also running out of ways to re-assure me...
Apologies for such a rambling intro post, I just needed to offload!
You're all amazing! Thank you