Follow up on Monday.....

Hi all 

its been a while since I was on here , I'm just over 3 years post recurrence Cervical Cancer , initially diagnosed 1b1 Adenocarcinoma in 2013 had radical hysterectomy but ovaries left in as consultant thought best considering age and having a natural menopause.  Had recurrence to ovary in 2015 . Went on to have chemotherapy cisplatin and radiotherapy .  Oncologist told me then in 2015  " if he were a betting man it will be back " well 3 years on since recurrence I am still NED however his words haunt me , every day I live with the expectation it will be back because of what he said then. 

I have a check up with my gynea consultant on Monday , and I'm thinking this appointment is the one , the one where he tells me something is wrong , I don't know why but I just feel really uneasy about this one , I think it's because I've been 3 years NED and it's kind of to good to be true , I can't really tell my family because they will just say I'm being negative but unless you've been through this I don't think people understand.  Also as time goes on others forget what you've been through and it's like it never happened. 

i feel guilty sometimes for feeling this  as I know there are people in much worse situations , anyway hoping for a good outcome. Just wanted to let off some steam I think.

thanks everyone 

Greeni xx 

 I only finished treatment in June and am already living with anxiety and fear about recurrence. 

Im currently attending psychology and I’ve said similar to you - other people have it worse. Psychologist said we need to stop being so hard on ourselves. If we constantly feel others are worse it isn’t always helpful as we are dismissing our own emotions. Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that it’s ok to feel like this sometimes. 

You are totally right people do forget what you’ve been through. That’s why places like this are so important. 

Best wishes for your appointment. Let us know how you get on x

I just finished my treatment plan on 01/28/19.  I can say I have more anxiety now that the frontline treatment has ended.  PET scan in the morning and results on Thursday.  I’ve been very positive through this entire journey which started last April.  Having an advanced stage metastatic disease, my doctor is still hoping for it to be curative.  I’ve done my own research and quite frankly, I’m nervous.  The lymphovascular space invasion found at diagnosis just haunts me.   BUT...Thursday’s report WILL be great!!  Good luck ladies.  I want to be able to update this post every year for years to come.  

How is the lymphovascular space invasion diagnosed? Thank you.

What your doctor said is really scary but also focus on the fact that 3 yrs have gone and you are still fine. Did he say why he thinks it will recur again? Update us on your follow up appointment and hope everything will be OK again! 

Hi greeni, I've read several of your posts and can tell those words your doctor said have really stuck with you. What a silly and thoughtless thing for him to say. I understand the fear you have, for about a week before my checkups I start going down hill into anxiety and dread and always have a bad feeling that it will be bad news. I always speak to my mum loads before these appointments in a panic saying I've got a really bad feeling, she tells me I always say that and that it's gone but I can't shake the fear. I know nobody can really say what's going to happen to any of us but as far as I can see your treatment was very successful, have you asked any other doctor for their opinion? I really hope everything goes well for you x

Mine was identified through surgery.  Blood tests don’t reveal that.  

I’m shocked your doctor said that and a little panicked tbh. I am 42 had a rad hysterectomy 4 weeks ago and overies stayed. However I was keen for them to be taken for the reason you said.  I’ve had kids and sure I’m Peri menopausal.  I was 1b after the op with no lymph nodes affected.   But my surgeon said the hpv and keeping overies wasn’t linked.  I’m wishing you the very best and will keep Looking for your updates. But I can totally feel your anxiety.  I’m still worried going forward.   X

Greeni - I can also tell by your posts that those words have really stuck with you.

I am feeling very similar to you right now. I have my two year appointment coming up so I’m convinced I have it back because I’m so close to 2 years and I’m telling myself that it must be bad because it’s almost at 2 years. 

I don’t know what to say to you except that I’m so glad we have this group to lean on. Because people (our friends and family) just don’t understand sometimes. The life of cancer lives on long after treatment  

Let us know how you get on. Sending you positivity and hugs. We’re all here for you!


Rosie xx


I have my fingers and toes crossed for you greenie and for you starlight 

you know me I'm a recurrence lady from July 2016 and at my 2 years post chemo mix scan in October 2018 I told my consultant that the longer I go stable and no change the worst these meetings are getting he told me that the longer I go the better the outcome keep this in your mind 

you are both doing brilliantly I can say don't worry to much but I know we all worry and those demons come into our head just before the results just try to keep your days busy as a busy day keeps your mind occupied and the demons out 

Love Michelle xx 

what stage was yours when diagnosed? Since you had surgery, i assume it’s stage 1? But how do you say it’s metastatic? Because of the lymph node involvement?

Thank you Michelle. It is really comforting to read your words :) xx

Sending all my love  leanne xxx