Feeling vulnerable

Hi Everyone,

I’ve commented on other people’s forum but not wrote one myself. I’m nearly 8 weeks post op from having a radical hysterectomy ovaries also removed due to 1B1 cc. Last week I got the all clear which is a huge relief, since my Post op appointment I feel like the flood gates have opened my emotions are all over the place. I think christmas was a distraction for me but now I’m feeling quite vulnerable, I think it’s the combination of accepting you having  the c word then preparing for the operation,then recovering and learning to accept the new me  (it’s amazing how it messes with your head). I am also trying to prepare myself for returning to work. Yesterday I went to see everyone which was really nice but I’m frightened that when I go back to work they won’t understand my limitations (I work with the under 5’s so it quite a physical job). Today I went to the doctors (who was running 40 minutes late) to talk about HRT and counselling. I saw a doctor in the beginning of November due to my recent diagnosis and other personal problems,the doctor said he would refer me for some counselling ( but I’ve not heard anything).The doctor I saw this morning said I nended to refer myself or I should have been offered counselling after my treatment.Then I waited ages at the doctors for my HRT tablets only to find out they hadn’t got them in stock. I feel that my trip was a total waste of time as I’m no further on. I’m sorry if I’ve gone on a bit but I just needed to have a rant otherwise I may burst.

Hi Cazzie, just wanted to send you a message to say that what you're feeling is entirely natural and I hope you feel better soon. Although my stage and treatment was different to yours, it really is a roller coaster and even 18 months later I still have the occasional down day and there are no time limits for processing what has happened. Take care of yourself, perhaps you could do a phased return to work to ease you back in gently. Thinking of you, Sara x

Hi Cazzie 

Honey I completely hear ya with the counselling. Apparantly they get better uptake if it's self referral...they didn't tell me this until I'd asked loads & was at breaking point. I managed to get a referral through my oncology nurse, maybe could yours help? 

I'd ask for a phased return lovely, & also maybe try to think of the things you think you might be able to do that you would be happy with, rather than them tell you. It might help feel a little in control of going back. Do you have a good supportive boss? 

When everything dies down a bit i think you do feel worse initially as you don't have it all to get through & focus on. It seems to be very normal to feel this way. Hope it helps knowing you're not alone.

Keep your chin up lovely :)

sending love xxx 


Thank you for your advice it is very much appreciate. I really wasn’t having a good day on Friday I had a good  cry which made me feel a little better then Yesterday my husband and I had a walk on the beach which also cleared my head. I’m definitely going to ring my nurse regarding counselling as I think it will help talking to someone who is impartial to the whole situation. I am supposed to doing a phased retun at work but when I went on Thursday nothing was mentioned so I think I started to panic. Since then my boss as been in touch and we’ve had a good talk about my return to work, which is a bit of a relief. My doctor also wants to see me before I go back to work to see if I’m fit for work so guess it depends on what she says aswell. 

Once again thank you



Hi Caroline! 

I can relate to your post and just wanted to leave a message about how you are feeling. 

I have other medical problems and hearing the C word I thought the worst....but due to the fact that as a society we are not as informed as we should be we are unsure what to do. I had alot of trouble getting referred to counselling as was told it takes 6-10 months. I was finally offered counselling therapy holistically until I get offered. The C word fills people with dread, however that should not be the case. It's not nice,  it's a long journey, but one many get through and it is difficult to adjust to the new life you live after the fact. I was at the hospital every day during treatment and only had weekdays off. When treatment finished although I was exhausted after 3 months of daily trips for radiotherapy I was lost! I didn't know what to do, what was expected of me and I couldn't just relax and let it sink in. The women on here are absolutely brilliant. 

They put up with alot because they understand and as rude as it sounds most people don't. (unfortunately it's an experience you have to go through to understand) they are helpful when your having good days and bad whether you're on a high or a low day. When you're laughing or crying or you just want to chat. 

We are all here for you and it will take time, 

Virtual hugs for you and all the wonderful ladies on here 



Hi HarleeKwin, 

Thank you for your response I really appreciate any advice given, I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to reply. You are so right about this forum I really find the threads informative and reassuring that there are always someone there to give advice whenever needed.Today I have been back to doctors to see if I’m fit for work as a result I’m starting a phased return next week. I’m also going to some counselling tomorrow so hopefully I might start to feel less anxious and begin to feel more like myself.Smile