I havent been on here for a while as my evenings have been an emotional roller coaster recently. I am 5 weeks post op I have been lucky to be given the all clear. However since finding out I was cleared of cancer my emotions have taken over and I am literally spending every night sobbing myself into a snotty mess!! Prior to that I had been very positive and had felt really strong and in control.
I feel that now I have been given the all clear that people think I am better but they have forgtten what I have lost in the process. I have also been left with damaged nerves to my legs and lymphodemea which are really slowed down my recovery. So to say I am fed up would be an understatement!
Sometimes I feel like I'm grieving for a lost relative the pain is so bad and at others I feel so bitter and cannot stop thinking 'what have I done to deserve this' as I have had a real tough few years and felt I'd had my fair share of troubles.
People keep telling me (well those that haven't been through it) that its all quite normal and I should be patient but I am really concerned that I may be fall into depression if I am not careful.
I am doing everything I can see possible to help myself, I am getting out and about everyday seeing lots of friends. Pottering around the house and doing as much for myself as I can. I'm taking good care of myself. Yet I can't seem to stop these immense outbursts.
I wondered if any of you lovely ladies have any good advice for me? As I really don't want to have to resort to tablets to make me feel better.