Hope you guys are all well and treatments are going to plan.
Just wanted to ask if anyone has had similar feelings as me post treatment.
I have been really positive about having CC and the treatment i have undergone and i keep getting told how brave i am by family and friends, but inside im so frightened that this disease is going to return and finish what it started.
Im contantly checking my body and having aruments in my head with myself saying "thats a lump"/"no its not", "you feel fine"/"somethings not right".
Ive been given the all clear in that when they carried out the radical hysterectomy all the margins were clear but still waiting on my MRI and internal check to confirm this. until this happens i dont think i truly believe its gone and even when i do im frightened im gonna scare myself in to thinking it will return again.
I cant watch the cancer research adverts cos i want to throw something at the TV and tell it to stop poking fun at me/reminding me all the time (i know its not but it just feels like its being mentioned everywhere) i hate it when people talk about their kids and there plan for more etc
Just feel so angry with the world but also scared at the same time and i dont know how to stop being like it. i was so positive about beating this and coming out smiling but now the cracks are starting to show. i dont wanna tell my family this is how i feel as they have been through alot.
sorry for the long post, needed to let it all out