Hi
I posted below but for some reason it won’t let me comment 
so starting new post. I’ve just finished week 2 of chemo / radio… It has quite honestly been hell on earth. I’ve been admitted twice as I’m so poorly I can barely walk, talk or function. I’m suffering from extreme nausea (never really sick ) I’m on 8 dif meds and nothing’s working, so I dont know if they are helping or making me worse!!! It’s a 2.5-3 hour round trip to hospital everyday and I feel like I’m starting to crumble. I feel I’m being eaten inside out I’m ballooning the the all the crap food (that all I can eat as it stops the nausea!!!) and steroids etc plus I’m lying down pretty much 23.5 hours a day. My poor kids are being so good but u can see it’s taking its toll and my husband who’s looking after me so well but I dont known if I can keep going as I had rad hyst and it was tiny what was in 2 lymph nodes taken out this was precaution. My consultant says as long as I keep having radio she’s happy to stop chemo but I feel doing that I’m seriously failing. It’s just so so so much harder than I ever managed and I don’t know what to do. They’ve found something in my top of spine that came up in pet scan so having to wait for results of that hasn’t helped. I just can’t see any light at the end of this v v dark tunnel at mo sorry for depressing post just one of those days xxxx
Oh bless you Chrissie.
I know that for most of us the treatment is surprisingly easy but I do know that for a small handful of women it can be really tough. I have no idea why this is. I just want to send you hugs and positive vibes and moral support and to let you know that we are all rooting for you.
(((((HUGS)))))
Be lucky :-)
Tivoli
Hi Chrissie,
first of all big big hugs to you and keep fighting. I was like you mid way through treatment and started feeling I can't do this anymore but I also wanted to live and here I am 5 years later telling you don't give up.
you are not failing, you have probably seen the posts of others who have had less side effects than you during treatment and you are now wondering what is going on.
We are all different, our treatment plan may look very similar but the dosage of the chemo, the location of the tumour etc..are unique to us and as such we will all react differently. The most important thing is that you are getting treated.
i assume you are half way through treatment? Don't give up the chemo if you can as it makes the radio much more efficient.
might it help you to have chemo day as an inpatient? I did, twice, and it helped.
I put on 2 stones during treatment...I remember my oncologist being concerned about my swollen fingers! i am finally, 5 years later, losing weight but have to work really hard at it! The weird thing is I eat a healthy diet , maybe a bit too much of it and too much of the red wine!
We are all here for you. I went through some tough times during treatment, needed blood transfusion as well, but I am cancer free.
Keep at it, it may be tough, you may feel sick but the time will come when you will start feeling better.
We are here if you need us.
Nx
This happened to me Hon, I also lost my hearing after one does! I was unable to string two words together. They dropped the chemo, and I just had radio and my consultant was happy with this! I had a rad hyst first too. It still took another four weeks to feel like the chemo had gone completely. Xxx
Helsweld how many chemos did you have? I think my consultant is going to say the same when I see her Monday but I'm scared how much I'm going to torture myself for stopping & making the final decision if you get me. I just don't know how much more I can take. I said to my husband am going to try one more chemo (so id have done 3) but im terrified :( xxx
Hi. I just had one, and on the day I was due to have my next one I was still unable to talk or walk properly! There was no hesitation from my doc about stopping it, and it felt like it was still in my system for weeks afterwards. My radio nurses told me not to worry, it will still work. My bloods also reacted and white cells were next to nothing, even after a couple of weeks which proved it was still working. I was also taking a massive concoction of anti sickness pulls, even some serious anti psychotic medication to counteract the side effects!
Hi sweetie, I went through all that your going through and I'm stood here today fight fit (well better than I was). I had extreme sickness couldn't keep anything down, couldn't eat either as I had no appetite and this caused me to go to skin and bones, I was hospitalised 4 times because of it and I kept getting infections. I had my chemo of 4 sessions then when my radiotherapy started they added on more so I was having them at the same time but because I was so weak I had to stop the extra sessions....I couldn't walk. I got so bad they thought it had gone terminal and I was dying...I felt like it.
But do you know what even when I was at my lowest and I was sleeping on the sofa at night cus I couldn't walk up the stairs let alone get off the sofa! I still reminded myself why I was doing this why I was putting up with being so poorly and that was my nieces....your reason is your husband and children.
Yes it is so incredibly hard and it pushes you so far you think your going to break but do you know what once you find that fight in you it gets slightly easier because your not only fighting back with the treatment but your telling yourself this.
I am 5 months post treatment and I can honestly say last year was the worst year of my life but now it feel like that didn't happen. I've been back at work 2 months, heck I've even got a job interview tomorrow for a different role!! So if I can so it you can too you've got us backing you and a loving family...
Don't give up the end is close xxx
Ps the sickness injections are a god send!! There is also a tablet that stops you feeling sick you have it with food I can't remember the name I'm sorry but these worked for me nothing else would....ask the hospital for build up drinks too they will help you with the weight loss but wait until you have your sickness under control as they made me worse....
Good luck and I am here if you want to talk xx
