Feeling lost and worried

Hi ladies

I started treatment last Tuesday (weekly chemo and daily radio) and have been having a bit of a wobble.  I know it's not long in but already reading into everything and worrying. The consultant said symptoms normally lesson quite quickly but because I still have discharge I have convinced myself treatment is not working.  I know it's early stages I'm just feeling a bit low and down in the dumps today.

feel like the discharge is the dancers way of saying I'm going no where.

im sorry for the negativity and the discharge chat just need some words of reassurance and encouragement as so low today.

thanks girls


Hi Kimmy I'm so sorry your're having a low day. I don't have any advice I'm afraid but I just wanted to stop by and give you a cuddle. Keep at it. Remember we don't have to be happy to be strong. It's OK to have bad days, let the tears roll and know that we'll all be here to catch them. I hope tomorrow is a bit brighter for you :) xxx

Hi, I have been in the same boat today and actually had a full on break down! Don't worry about it everyone does at some point you would not be normal if you didn't!! My breakdown came after a very stressful day I too am having daily radiotherapy and weekly chemo atm....I've already had 6 sessions of chemo but mine is advanced you see. I got stressed out cus it seemed like no one was paying attention when the machine was beeping and they did not understand that me telling them 5 times that I had my radiotherapy at 2:15 that day and I needed to be at the appointment was important not only to me but to the poor women that had to do my treatment! I got done with chemo at 5:30 after several requests for them to call down to let them know what was going on and them calling up asking what was going on (apparently 300 yards up 2 flights of stairs no one can communicate correctly in the chemo ward!) The poor girls in the radiotherapy dept had to stay behind just for me I felt so bad!!! I was also talking to a lady who has ovarian cancer and she beat it now it's back and terminal - as she was talking I could see and tell the worry, stress and desperate need for a cure and I just wanted to cry for her because although mine is advanced the doctors have hope as it is reacting - don't get me wrong I am not stupid and I know it can go either way but at least I still have hope and this poor woman doesn't. As soon as I walked out the hospital and until 11pm tonight I have been sobbing my heart out and I mean to the point where my best friend was going to drive from Birmingham to me which is a 2 hour drive to me to come and console me.


I one million percent understand the stress, worry, how scared you are - I frequently lie in bed and at home and think of everything and cry and yes it makes me feel worse BUT once I've had this cry I feel better maybe only for a fee days but it's out and gone. I also find writing down all my worries and fears down on a pad of paper - not for anyone to see just to get it out as if I am talking to someone (I struggle to open up) and then throw it away it's as if I am throwing away the negative thoughts and this can be anything - someone annoys you write it all down and throw it away as you don't need it playing on your mind you've got enough to deal with!


In respect of the treatment I was bleeding heavily and having huge clots coming away it is only now that I realised that it was the tumor as it was so large - it stopped almost immediately for me but it can sometimes take time. If your still worried speak to your nurse or doctor at your review as it maybe an infection - I have got, what feels like my millionth! - water infection and I've had that many antibiotics it's unreal I've got new ones this time which hopefully will help (fingers crossed!)  - don't worry if you don't see any effects of the treatment straight away I didn't and I still wish I didn't as I have been really poorly but again mine is advanced so my treatment will be stronger hence worse side effects. Everyone reacts diffrently and not everyone has effects or not anything that causes concern to you but again if you do speak up at your review they will help you I promise they have always done this for me.


Sorry to write so much lol and I apologise if anything is spelt weird or wrong my phone likes to change words the bloody thing!!!


Your more than welcome to message me personally if your want to talk - I am not always on here but I will respond. Us girls need to stick together x


Hey Kimmy,

Try not to stress out about the discharge too much. I can't remember how long mine took to reduce/stop but it was definitely a few weeks. 

Keep at it cause you will beat this.

Rach x

Lovely words from Jojo, and great big hugs to you both Kimmy and Carmel


When I was having my treatment my radiotherapy was usually at about 8am but sometimes on chemo days I didn't get round to radiotherapy until late afternoon. The radiotherapy team should be aware which days you are scheduled for your chemo and should take that into account. That way it's up to the radiotherapy staff to call the chemo staff if you fail to show up when expected. After all, the chemo staff are running about looking after all the people in the chairs whereas the radiotherapy department is a much more sedate place.

Because I was staying a long way from home in a backpackers hostel for my treatment, it didn't really matter to me how late I was round to radiotherapy (except of course that they do prefer it to be at the same time every day but this cannot be achieved when combined with chemo). One day however I really did want to leave promptly because my lovely sister had flown all the way from UK to keep me company. Of course that was the day that the drip was going way too slowly and I was getting really stressed out because I wanted to be out of there. Anyhow, with my Cisplatin the first drip is a saline solution, the second the actual chemo and the third another saline, so to speed things up I asked if I could just drink the darn thing and they let me :-) Maybe worth asking the question Carmel unless your chemo is a very different regimen.

Be lucky :-)

Hi kimmy, 

With me it took a good 3 weeks for the bleeding and discharge to stop, I think it very much depends on the individual. I had the same thoughts about treatment not working etc but neither the specialist nurse or the consultant were concerned that it took that long. Try not to worry too much and voice your concerns before they drive you up the wall. 

Big hugs coming your way.

Stay strong and keep going..... you will soon be out the other side 



Big hugs Kimmy. xxxxx

Aww bless you hunny.  I felt like that all the way through my treatment too.  Sometimes I still feel that way.  It's only been since I was told that I'm cancer free that I have felt better. I hope you will feel great too when it's over and you are cancer free too. Good luck xx

Hi Nicky :-)

Great to see you here :-) And brilliant to hear you are cancer-free! How's it been?

Lots of love to you and your mum



Hey tivoli


We have had our ups and downs but we are soo happy now for my latest resul. I thought it would be nice to pop in and say hi to everyone. Maybe give a little encouragement and show that treatment can work even for advanced stages. How are you? Xxx

I'm grand thanks :-)
So, so pleased you decided to pop in, say Hi and encourage the new members. I think you must be the new poster girl for this site :-)
Stay lucky :-)