Hi, I have been in the same boat today and actually had a full on break down! Don't worry about it everyone does at some point you would not be normal if you didn't!! My breakdown came after a very stressful day I too am having daily radiotherapy and weekly chemo atm....I've already had 6 sessions of chemo but mine is advanced you see. I got stressed out cus it seemed like no one was paying attention when the machine was beeping and they did not understand that me telling them 5 times that I had my radiotherapy at 2:15 that day and I needed to be at the appointment was important not only to me but to the poor women that had to do my treatment! I got done with chemo at 5:30 after several requests for them to call down to let them know what was going on and them calling up asking what was going on (apparently 300 yards up 2 flights of stairs no one can communicate correctly in the chemo ward!) The poor girls in the radiotherapy dept had to stay behind just for me I felt so bad!!! I was also talking to a lady who has ovarian cancer and she beat it now it's back and terminal - as she was talking I could see and tell the worry, stress and desperate need for a cure and I just wanted to cry for her because although mine is advanced the doctors have hope as it is reacting - don't get me wrong I am not stupid and I know it can go either way but at least I still have hope and this poor woman doesn't. As soon as I walked out the hospital and until 11pm tonight I have been sobbing my heart out and I mean to the point where my best friend was going to drive from Birmingham to me which is a 2 hour drive to me to come and console me.
I one million percent understand the stress, worry, how scared you are - I frequently lie in bed and at home and think of everything and cry and yes it makes me feel worse BUT once I've had this cry I feel better maybe only for a fee days but it's out and gone. I also find writing down all my worries and fears down on a pad of paper - not for anyone to see just to get it out as if I am talking to someone (I struggle to open up) and then throw it away it's as if I am throwing away the negative thoughts and this can be anything - someone annoys you write it all down and throw it away as you don't need it playing on your mind you've got enough to deal with!
In respect of the treatment I was bleeding heavily and having huge clots coming away it is only now that I realised that it was the tumor as it was so large - it stopped almost immediately for me but it can sometimes take time. If your still worried speak to your nurse or doctor at your review as it maybe an infection - I have got, what feels like my millionth! - water infection and I've had that many antibiotics it's unreal I've got new ones this time which hopefully will help (fingers crossed!) - don't worry if you don't see any effects of the treatment straight away I didn't and I still wish I didn't as I have been really poorly but again mine is advanced so my treatment will be stronger hence worse side effects. Everyone reacts diffrently and not everyone has effects or not anything that causes concern to you but again if you do speak up at your review they will help you I promise they have always done this for me.
Sorry to write so much lol and I apologise if anything is spelt weird or wrong my phone likes to change words the bloody thing!!!
Your more than welcome to message me personally if your want to talk - I am not always on here but I will respond. Us girls need to stick together x