Hiya I’m feeling so down just now not working pains in my hips waiting to go for a mri most people will be thinking I should be happy but my life has changed not working ect and sex is a one off I’m definitely don’t seem interested OMG I just want the old me back but I know it’s not going to happen and I always try and be happy all the time and say I’m fine but I’m not I’m sad inside and it’s so horrible
Oh honey,,,,
hugs!!! It is so hard isn't it!! Finding the new norm, wondering so many things. It's all so exhausting and so hard to explain.
people really do t understand what it is like, they think oh your treatment is over so you are fine but it's not like that at all. My hips do hurt me as well and Somedays I wonder if this is gonna stay that way or get better. I hate taking pain meds but need them to not have this horrible ache. Somedays it's so good and then I think oh I'm getting better but then the fallowing day they hurt again. Hopefully soon you will have an answer and be able to take action and not be in pain or discomfort.
im hoping to be back to work come November as I feel like it's time. I'm hoping my body will agree. I was on Mat leave when diagnosed and should have been back in late aug. Now, I feel like I'm not being productive or contributing even though I know that's not the case.
We do try to hang onto our old selfs but it's different, things seem so different. The biggest changes our inside our heads. Try to stay positive. The new you will emerge better then before. You need time. Try to smile And laugh the rest will come in it's own time.
You are not alone LeAnne we are all going through the same thing just at different times or different speedS.
Hi Leeanne, It is incredibly difficult. I saw a psychologist and told him how I was unable to be happy. He told me that being happy was not the goal with cancer and the goal was being calm. Once I gave up the struggle to be happy and focus on being calm - I've had a lot of set backs, recurrence etc- things became more controllable. Yes there was an awful long time that I'd forgotten how to laugh or relax. I have constant pain in my feet, my neck, and thumbs the chemo and menopause threw me into arthritis so not cancer related. I am juggling mess to find out which will hope me most. Next week I go back to work and am scared shitless. I am not the old me and my confidence has dropped but I will go back and conquer that fear. I'm single - he left and I'm too scared to date yet but it will come. More importantly I've been thinking of getting a dog through Pet Rescue and every time I see a pug face I laugh. It's so delightful to laugh again and it takes me by surprise. It's been a shitty 18 months for me but I can see the light. Hang in there be calm and you will return to a form of your old self. Jayne xx
Hi Jayne, I'm so sorry to hear that your on your own but do you know what he was a coward and your a strong lady you've got this far! im 29 and single I've also got the menopause and the pain in the fjngers it's so bloody annoying isn't it? It's horrible! with work you don't need to go back if you don't feel ready - I went back 3 months after treatment and had to give up work 6 months later because of so many things health wise - work were brilliant though! So understanding - I'm hoping to go back next year after having a year off to get things sorted and get myself back to health. I am struggling with the change in my personality - I use to laugh at everything and I mean everything now I struggle to raise a smile. im going to take on board your comment about being calm - I'm a major stress head and stress makes me worse and sometimes I can't cope and end up crying (typing the wrong letter gets me wound up - this is not going good lol!).
the reason why I wanted to address you is from your comment about getting a dog - one million percent do it! I wanted a dog for ages about 3 years but kept putting it off and when I was diagnosed I thought fuck it I'm having one and now I have a puppy/devil dog called betsie (betsie boo) and she has brought so much laughter and love into my life it's unreal - I've got two cats as well and they've always filled my life with love as well but betsie has given me a reason to get up in the morning she's given me a reason to get dressed and get out the house to take her for a walk. dont get me wrong she's a sod but I love her and she loves me - When her little tail goes it's so lovely! She has a cage because she's so naughty for when I go out and when i go bed she had the chance to sleep in bed with me but peeing on the bed and floor, chewing my straighteners and phone charger and annoying the cats put end to that!
A lot of people say rescue dogs offer more love than a puppy but as I have nieces I had puppy because it was right for me - i needed to be able to trust her and teach her - she now knows sit, lie down, roll over, stay to an extent and she's learning to give her paw and she likes to do her own trick of standing on her back legs - she's a midget like me so she can't see hahaha!
all my family have said she is the best thing that has happened to me in a long time and they've seen the change in me for the good.
Oh and for a laugh go on you tube and put in McIntyre - dentist I promise you it will get you laughing - I was crying
Hi Leanne,
Thanks for putting it so honestly. Yes it is horrible in every way. We not only have to deal with the shock of the diagnosis and the assault on the body from the treatments, but the emotional roller coaster of anxiety and uncertainty with every twinge and symptom. Our whole world is turned upside down, and you are lucky if you get through this unscathed. I can't say I am through the other end of this yet, and not sure I ever will be, because things unfold over time which you have to get to grips with. I think Jayne's psychologist was so right in saying that the aim is to be calm and to be able to manage the stresses as they come along. I'd like to add to that by saying that another aim for some of us might be to learn to like our new selves again. I know I never give myself enough credit for how I have coped, but am all too ready to give myself a hard time for being down or anxious or losing it over small things. I feel I have lost a load of confidence as I didn't feel able to return to work so took early retirement at 57. I feel lost a lot of the time, but really do just try to get through each day, as every day seems different. I don't feel in control of.much anymore but perhaps I was never really in control anyway! What I do know is that it takes a long time to feel settled again, and seems to require a lot of working at. But don't lose hope, and remember you are in good company. Big hugs xx
Hi Leanne
stay strong and try to keep positive I know easier said than done take time for you have friends round or have a night out i have a good circle of friends and when we get to gether they really pick me it's good to have some humour about this dreaded disease hopfully your up today scan on your hips will come back clear i think it's norm to have hip pain after the chemo rad I had it and a lot of women have it on here
I found swimming and a little walk every day seemed to ease the pain and just one paracetamol at night also doing things takes your mind of the cancer stay occupied don't let the thoughts creep in even if your in the house alone watch tv or read a book or play a game
jayne excellent idea for a rescue dog I have 2 Labrador dogs now 7 and 6 and I love taking them out in the 2 weeks of normality I have during the chemo mix proper lifts me up all the fresh air and exercise does me good and they also keep me occupied in the hous aswell
onwards and upwards
love Michelle xx
Hi Girls,
I am the same definatley feel very low at times especially when you sit and think about things, sometimes it feels like its all a dream...im having problems with my partner also he is seriously messing me about and adding to the stress of everything!! hopefully things will turn round for us all girls we deserve it...
Thank-you I hope your well soon xx
I have 2 bichons and they are fantastic xx
I hope all works out OK for you too
Hello Ladies Just to let you know my Pug puppy arrives in 3 weeks. What joy. Also smashed going back to work so couldn't be in a better space. Thanks for the doggy encouragement. Why didn't I do this earlier?
Jayne
Good luck with the puppy! they're like hav naughty children! Mine is anyway! she has a case of selective hearing and seems to only understand lie down when I have a treat in my hand! I've learnt her lie down, sit, roll over and paw for a treat and I get them all when she wants something before I even ask it's so funny!
i love little pugs they're adorable - I have a jack Russell chihuahua cross - she's so loving but so mardy and doesnt like the cats having a cuddle if she is - the cat and dog both get jealous of each other they both want me to themselves. the dog, betsie, made me laugh she was 'protecting' me from a leopard on the tv the other day barking at it and when it came to a close up of it she ran behind me barking at it - then when it went she would stand on me xx
They're great aren't they? I'm so excited.
They are all my family have said that she's the best thing for me since all I went through and yours will be too xx
That is lovely a new Wee puppy my 2 we're the best thing for us aswell I love them with all my heart they're my baby's lol xx
