Awaiting LLETZ after initial colposcopy

I’m 31 and had my regular smear three weeks ago - previous smears have all been normal. On Weds (two weeks after the smear) I had to have colposcopy due to severe/high grade dyskaryosis. The consultant took a biopsy which I’m waiting for the results from (hopefully back tomorrow), but he said due to large size of the affected area I will definitely need LLETZ regardless of the results. I’m booked in for this Friday to have LLETZ, under GA given the size of the affected area. I’m pretty terrified about it all. I’m a vet and I think sometimes some medical knowledge is a bad thing as I’m running through all possible complications and outcomes. Hopefully my biopsy and LLETZ will just show CIN but I know in an animal I could never guarantee not cancer just from a small sample like a smear… Likewise the consultant hasn’t said anything either way, just that a large area is abnormal. Work have been very good about me taking time off etc, but I’m finding it so difficult to concentrate with this hanging over me, and I’m not in a job where I can make mistakes.

What’s upset me almost even more is that we have been trying for a baby forever and are almost at the stage of being referred to see why it hasn’t happened. The consultant has said we should stop trying until a follow up colposcopy in several months has confirmed treatment has been successful. I’ll be 32 by then and my husband nearly 40. All my friends have children and I feel so left out (I know that sounds really silly), and now this has happened I feel even more removed from my friends who’ve never had anything similar - I don’t really feel I have anyone to talk to about it. I know that following LLETZ there can be a risk of future pregnancies not being carried to term. Just wondered how other people have got on in this respect? Will LLETZ affect my rubbish fertility even further?

Hi LilyB

I also had normal smears up until now but I was told I have high grade changes when I went for my colposcopy last week. I have been getting really anxious about it all. I went to my gp a couple of years ago complaining of stomach pains but nothing came of it so now I am concerned that there was something wrong then. I wasn't told at my appointment whether I would need treatment. I did get myself in a positive mindset before going in and thought it is ok until the doctor said it was high grade changes in a really concerned sounding voice. Now I am really worried. I am sure if you confided in a close friend it would really help you. I plan to tell my best friend when I see her. Hope that Friday goes as well as it can. 

Hi Lily,

Just to let you know, I'm in the same boat! I work in Sexual Health, and agree that you wish you had zero knowledge of anything! And I am also worried about children - it's all I've ever wanted. At 29, I feel like everyone I know is having them and I know how you feel. I had my Lletz done last week under LA, really wasn't bad and I've recovered so quickly. I have a few friends that are midwives, I'm definitely going to ask the question. Having this worry makes the wait a million times worse I feel. I'll let you know what my friends say - good luck on Friday, enjoy the weekend of putting your feet up! Xx

Hi Lily,

I too am with you!! Of course I can only speak from my own experience and from what my gynaecologist has told me. I had my first lletz at 22 and now my second at 28. I don't have any children but of course I would like to when I can. I expressed my concern to my doctor when I was to have my second surgery but she was certain that it would not affect my ability to conceive and carry. My cervix would however have to be closely monitored during pregnancy as tissue has been removed which makes the cervix less strong. Many women go on to conceive and carry their child to full term post lletz.

I hope all goes well for your lletz. I know your medical knowledge feels like a burden but do try to stay positive!!

Thinking of you!