Hello, so I have finally joined this site after weeks of stalking. I had some symptoms around Christmas time of post-coital bleeding and excess watery, smelly discharge (tmi I know). I am ashamed to say I have not kept on top of smears and I am 31. I was due to have a smear this time last year (3 months after my second child was born) but when I rang to book it, my doctors surgery was trying to figure out how they would proceed during covid and asked that I ring back once they were sorted. Of course I didn't ring back as it had taken a lot of courage for me to try to book in the first place due to fear and as time went on I was busy with my family and didn't think of it again.
So I booked an app with my doctor in the middle of January as I knew something was up with me and got an appointment but had to reschedule as my monthly visitors arrived and was told to leave it for 2 weeks. I attended on Feb 3rd and had a smear and pelvic exam. I bled during this and was referred to colposcopy. Went to see the gynae before the colposcopy and he had a look and said it looked like a nabothian follicle and ectropion - harmless, benign conditions. The relief was unreal!
Three weeks later I had the colposcopy and lletz to cauterise the area to eradicate the unwanted symptoms and this was done under GA as he wanted to check my womb also since my mother had endometrial cancer previously.
I woke up afterwards to be told that he had seen an ulcerated area under the nabothian cyst which looked cancerous. I was devastated. Shortly afterwards the results came back as cancer but he told me it looked to be early stage and he would refer me to a cancer gynae who would decide on whether I needed a trachelectomy or a hysterectomy. I'm very lucky to have two beautiful boys but had planned on having maybe one more child in the future so I was hoping to preserve my fertility if possible.
I was referred for an mri and ct scan which the doctor said he assumed would be clear of spread and an appointment was arranged with the gynae oncologist. He did an exam of the my pelvis and then sat down and said that based on my scans and his examination of me that I would not be a candidate for surgery as the mri indicated a positive pelvic node. I was stunned. He said that due to this, I would need radiotherapy, chemo and brachytherapy.
I was then referred on to discuss the radiotherapy and that's where I am currently on this awful journey. I met a lovely doctor who explained the side effects and risks of the radiotherapy (both internal and external) and she also mentioned that I would see a medical oncologist who would discuss chemo. She told me my cancer was both squamous cell cancer and adenocarcinoma in the one tumour of 3-4cm called adenosquamous cancer.
I suffer quite badly with anxiety, for which I am on medication, but I honestly have been very outwardly positive and relaxed about all this. I don't know if it's because of my meds or because I know that my mood will effect the mood of those around me or a combo of both. If this had happened a few years ago before I had found a balance I would have lost the plot.
I am wondering if anyone else has dealt with this type of diagnosis? I'm pushing away the feelings of fear that I don't feel ready to deal with and trying to focus on one day at a time. Every now and again I get a stab of emotion - guilt or fear, thinking 'oh God what if?' 'What about my kids, partner and family?' 'What if treatment fails?' Etc. But I box them off and carry on like nothing is happening out of the ordinary.
Sorry for the rambling message but if anyone is in the same boat or similar please let me know.
Sending positive vibes to all the lovely people on this,
