I have to say this is a website I hadn't planned on joining. After experiencing some abnormal bleeding after sex I checked in for my smear test. I will be honest and say that I wasn't exactly good about going for mine regularly ever since the nurse I saw decided that because I had a piercing of the clitoral hood that it gave her the right to insinuate that I was some kind of slut. I wish it hadn't put me off because after a gap of 5 years my smear came back CIN3 with adenocarcinoma seen on the cytology. I've just had my colposcopy and LLETZ a few days ago and now am in the agonising wait for the pathology results this coming Friday. I'm sure others will recognise my current symptoms of crying unpredictably then feeling ok again shortly after.
Now, I work as a doctor and having a little knowledge is a terrible thing as I already know that adenocarcinoma in situ is relatively rare and pretty much the likelihood is that I'm looking at hysterectomy most likely. I'm just about to turn 32 married to the most wonderful man I could ask for and we have no kids. I happen to also have bipolar disorder and we had already considered remaining child free as I would likely relapse coming off meds to try for family. That and I was a monster on hormonal contraception! I see lots of posts from people who'd rather avoid the hysterectomy if they can, but I wonder if there's anyone out there who had adenocarcinoma as their result who was happy to go in belt and braces from the start? Did you regret the decision? Were there benefits to it?
I do realise I'm thinking a bit far ahead given the staging hasn't been done. I'm a bit of a pragmatist and having had a cancer scare a few years ago which thankfully turned out to be a red herring I know that I will cope better with the waiting if I have as much knowledge about the pros and cons of certain options before I go back to the clinic. Oddly doctors are not great at looking after other doctors and I definitely found last time around that I wasn't given as much information about what was happening because of the presumed knowledge.
Hi, I’m so sorry you’ve had to join us on here.
With your emotions it will be a roller coaster, especially when you do not know the staging as your mind goes into overdrive. With being a Dr I can only imagine it makes it 10 times worse. The thing to keep in mind is that it has been picked up and you are now in the process of getting rid. It will seem like everything is going very slowly when in fact lots is going on behind the scenes.
As you can see from my summary below, I had a radical hysterectomy to treat stage 1b1 adenocarcinoma. I was initially offered a trachelectomy, but once they had done my MRI and CT scans and sat down with my lletz results at the MDT meeting it became apparent it wasn’t the best choice for me as the tumour size was over the guidelines.
Depending on the staging, the decision is ultimately yours if you’d prefer the hysterectomy. You do need to be 100% sure that you do not want to have children in the conventional way. For me, the loss of my womb made me feel less of a woman at first. My periods were a sign of my femininity- now they are gone. A few months down the line I’m doing better in that respect but I am grieving the loss of not being able to have another child naturally. In the same breath though, I am so very lucky to not need further treatment and the chances of my cancer returning are slim. Am I still scared? Yes, but I think that will always be with me.
It will get easier, I hope the results come in soon. Write down lots of questions ready for when you go in to see them and make sure you get answers. Take someone with you too, it’s easy to forget things when being confronted with all the info.
The issue of children has been one my husband and I have already discussed and we are in agreement that my health trumps potential children. I have family members who are adopted and if we changed our minds about having family then that's always an option. I think I would rest easier knowing the chances of recurrence were reduced as much as possible.
I'm rather a tomboy and indeed wouldn't call myself particularly feminine anyway. I can see how the loss of feminine identify could be tied up with a hysterectomy though as that's the main thing that distinguishes females from males: the ability to carry created life. I have no idea how I will really react to it though. For me I think it will be the expression of sexuality rather than gender that will be the hard one to battle.
It sounds like you are very sure on what you want, which is good. Going in with a clear head helps.
With the sexual side of things, I didn’t think I’d ever want it again! A few weeks after my op my desire did return though, we were both petrified but everything worked!! We are having a few issues but it’s very early days. For us our sex life was always very good and I don’t intend on that changing. Essentially you will still be you, just a bit different than before.
Good luck for Friday, at least you have a date set! Let us know how it goes. Xx
Sorry you're in limbo waiting for your results - it really is the hardest time!
I just wanted to say hi and that I too didn't want children at all, neither does my parnter so the hysterectomy was a no brainer for me. I didn't actually have a choice mind! However, I would say that I have had some bizarre emotional outbursts relating to wombs/periods/babies since my op. My best friend announced she was pregnant and I cried for a day. Oof! I think it's just grief of what I've been through as I still know deep down I don't want children. I don't mean to scare you, I just wanted to say it's a bit of a rollercoaster but we all get through it one way or another! I've been suprised how I reacted, but deep down I know I'm still me and it's just coming to terms with it all.
Yeah, I'm kind of expecting to increase my personal contribution to Kleenex's share price! I think when I start breaking the news to people I'm going to give them an allocated box of tissues to keep for when I visit!!
And just to make the wait a little more interesting I have an infection and a little box of antibiotics now. Without getting too graphic, I am feeling particularly smelly this evening! Yuck.
