World falling apart

I don’t really know how to start this - so I will just write everything down and hope for the best.

Coming up to 2 years of marriage (2nd marriage) - 7 weeks before wedding admitted to hospital with severe body tremors - kept in, had various tests which proved inconclusive. Was then diagnosed with underactive thyroid and menopause issues, put on antidepressants, ampitriptyline for the pain and struggled for the past year to cope with things. In Sept of last year diagnosed with severe dis (cant spell it), then called in for a LETZ procedure and on the 24th Nov 2016 had to have a radical hysterectomy and lymph nodes taken away. Stayed in hospital for 3 days and had catheter in for 2 weeks. One week after surgery (keyhole) readmitted to hospital due to severe haemorrhage.

I’ve been going through the above alone (my husband works away and wasn’t around when I went into hospital for cervical cancer - he was away from the 12/11 until the 12/01), I had my 16 year old son looking after me and the 24/11 was his 17th birthday.

My husband now tells me that I’m not the person he married (no shit) - yes I have taken things out on him (menopause) and love him to bits - but he’s telling me he needs space (he’s not at home) and he needs to talk to someone about his feelings … WHAT IN THE WORLD AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? I’m crying as im writing this as I feel as if my whole world is falling apart around me.

Oh sweetheart.

Big hugs! Have you spoken to him and told him how you are truely feeling? Like from the you have felt about him working away? How the CC made you feel? How you feel about him needing space?

Does he fully understand what you have been thro? 

Maybe it would help if you both seek marriage counselling? Have you thought about that?

im sorry sweetie I don't know what else to say..other than your son sounds amazing! Well done to him for stepping up at a time when you was at your most vulnerabl!

lots of love xxx 

Michelle xx 


Hi springle66

i am truly sorry that you are going through such a rough time with your health and recovery. I am also sorry to hear that even when all of this is happening you are faced with more stress put on you by a husband who is never around and when he is, he doesn't seem to truly understand what you are going through. 

Maybe these words are not what you want to hear because of your feelings for him but in my opinion any husband who leaves you alone during such an operation is an ass. I don't think he understood at all from the beginning what a husband is suppose to be.

I know money has a lot to do with things as people still need to earn money while having family problems but to leave or expect you to return to work really is unconciderate. I would bet your son thinks poorly of him for leaving the two of you when you need him home. Even if he hasn't said outright. 

You have already made it so far on your own(being alone most of the time) so if he wants to run for the hills then let him go! Focus on you and your son not someone who comes and goes when he feels like it. 

I do hope that you trully express your feelings to him as the pp said. hopefully this marriage can be saved and can find happiness on both sides. 

big hugs to you and I apologize if I seem abrupt or mean but I hate it when I hear about men like this. I do wish you the best