What am i going to do????????????

Relationships
1

World falling apart

I don’t really know how to start this - so I will just write everything down and hope for the best.

Coming up to 2 years of marriage (2nd marriage) - 7 weeks before wedding admitted to hospital with severe body tremors - kept in, had various tests which proved inconclusive. Was then diagnosed with underactive thyroid and menopause issues, put on antidepressants, ampitriptyline for the pain and struggled for the past year to cope with things. In Sept of last year diagnosed with severe dis (cant spell it), then called in for a LETZ procedure and on the 24th Nov 2016 had to have a radical hysterectomy and lymph nodes taken away. Stayed in hospital for 3 days and had catheter in for 2 weeks. One week after surgery (keyhole) readmitted to hospital due to severe haemorrhage.

I’ve been going through the above alone (my husband works away and wasn’t around when I went into hospital for cervical cancer - he was away from the 12/11 until the 12/01), I had my 16 year old son looking after me and the 24/11 was his 17th birthday.

My husband now tells me that I’m not the person he married (no shit) - yes I have taken things out on him (menopause). I love him to bits - but he’s telling me he needs space (he’s not at home) and he needs to talk to someone about his feelings … WHAT IN THE WORLD AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? I’m crying as im writing this as I feel as if my whole world is falling apart around me.

2

Oh springle66, what a terrible and distressing time for you.  

None of us stay the people we were - your husband included - but with the added pressures of your health/emotions, care for your son and concerns about the future must appear bleak.  

I've had similar issues recently with my husband and my latest cc repercussion.  He does live at home and we tiptoed around each other for a couple of weeks until I was able to sit him down and talk to him calmly.  There's nothing more lonely than weeping in front of your partner but being ignored.

Your hormones will be all over the place having had your hysterectomy so recently.  How do you feel about hrt?  My GP's words to me were "to go through an abrupt and artificial menopause, you'll need all the help you can get".  I did it for five/10 years and then went cold turkey but it might help you through these next few months.  Can you husband see a Counsellor?  

I do hope you can get some good news soon and your husband can learn to support you in the way he should.

Lindsey xx