Feel like I'm going mad

Hi Ladies

I hope you are all well.

I wasn’t sure I should post this but I don’t know where else to turn.

Finished my treatment in March 2015, got the all clear in June. Had a recurrence scare last month but luckily again this was clear.

Am suffering with what they think is neuropathy, I am using a wheelchair, but they have also referred me to neurology. My dad died at 58 due to complications from MS, and they will be testing me to rule this out. I have severe weakness in my right leg, unable to walk, climb stairs, cook for myself, do the school run etc.

I’m feeling like I cant cope any more. For the last few days I have become so emotional, and have not got out of bed for the last two days. I don’t want to talk to anybody, I’m irritable and don’t feel like I want to be here anymore.

I’m sorry if I sound dramatic. My husband has told me I’m wallowing in it and I need to pull myself together but I cant.

Anybody else felt like this? Any light at the end of the tunnel?

Bless you it sounds like you are prettY down right now so big big hugs Xxx you have had a tough time try not to be hard on yourself however worrying and feeling sad isn't going to get you anywhere (Wish I listened to this sometimes lol). I know it's hard but can you do anything to make you feel better, distract you. Like read book or take up crochet (v fashionable these days!). Or watch an uplifting movie, invite friend round for cup of tea etc. xxxx 

Hi Becky I am so sorry to hear about your situation you have been through a terrible time. I am glad they are sending you for further tests to help find a solution to your health problems. Becky i am not surprised you feel so low and dont want to talk to anyone your mobility has really deteriorated and no one  has any answers for you at this stage I would be feeling low to.

Becky men mean well but they are not very clever they say some really stupid things but  guess he is worried about you and wants his wife back to normal. Please dont feel like there is no hope you beat Cervical Cancer and you can beat this you are a really brave woman after all you have been through. I know your family want you to be here sometimes they just dont know how to express their feelings and becky I know you dont know me but i want you  to be here to and make a full recovery. would you please go to your doctor and tell them how you feel they will be able to offer you some support through this awful time. Pleasekeep in touch I will be thinking about you lots of love xx

Hi Becky I have been thinking about you how are you today? Keep in touch lots of love xx

I agree with Kumagill men can say silly things sometimes but I think they don't know what to say so sometimes they say things that they think would work for them. That's what my husband does anyway.

I have been thinking of you too. Really hope you are feeling a bit brighter. xxx

Hi Becky

I'm so sorry to hear you are having a tough time.  You have been through so much it's not surprising you feel so down.  I know it may seem hard but talking to someone and pouring your heart out will probably help.  Can you speak to freinds or family?  Perhaps your GP?  and failing that you can alway ring the Samaritans for a good old chat and a cry.  People ring them for far less xxxx

Hi ladies

thank you so much for your lovely responses. I have managed to get out of bed today (after 2 days in bed) and have washed my hair etc!! A massive step! Its so nice to be able to say how I am feeling without feeling judged or my feelings brushed aside, and also have the reassurance that I am not alone in this. I have made an appointment with my GP for tmrw, in the hope I may get referred for some counselling.

I will let you know how I get on. Thanks again xxx



Ahh that's brilliant, so pleased to hear that Hun. You can totally do this, I remember someone saying to me baby steps are better than none so even if you do little things each day you will build it up. I know it sounds silly but if you can have little targets in your head that you can do each day. Big hugs and well done you. Let us know how you get on xxx

Hi Becky you are a champion I am so pleased to hear you are up and about again and sounding so positive. I hope it all goes well for you today at the doctors I will be thinking about you. You are definately not alone all the ladies on here understand your difficulties while going through their own personal struggles. So keep posting it really does help to write it down and get it out there. let us know how you get on today lots of love  xx

Hi Becky ;-)

Sorry to have come to this discussion so late! I am glad to see that you have mentioned counselling, it's what I was going to suggest. A spiritual nose-dive is not uncommon after going through the whole cervical cancer mill and coming out physically healthy on the other side. It often takes only the tiniest of things to trigger a stumble but I imagine that a possible MS diagnosis is rather more than the tiniest little thing! Rooting for you sweetheart and do please let us know how you get along, I know too well how scary a prospect MS is.

Be lucky :-)