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Hello. My husband and I were met in 2013.
We were both virgins never sexually with someone else.
We’ve had a rocky past few years with lots of arguing and felt very distant.
I have NEVER cheated or been with someone else.
I just got my papsmear results back showing HPV positive.
I know it can be dormant for a long time blah blah but we were both virgins prior to getting together.
Big red flag he’s cheating, right?
I’m sorry you deleted your response was hoping to read what you had to say! Replying in case it was an accident.
Not necessarily. And it cannot be proven so I’d try to put it out of your mind because it will drive you insane and might destroy your marriage unnecessarily.
If either of you ever French kissed or touched another human in a sexual way prior to your marriage, you may have still contracted HPV. Also, pretty rare but it could be a false positive HPV result?
If your marriage has had issues, which of course is normal, certainly seek support with that from therapy etc but I wouldn’t assume he’s cheated. Take care x
Emma, thank you so very much!
Also, it has been noted there are cases proven with no sexual contact involved. The colposcopy nurse told me that last week
Hi Amber
Yes it was an accident sorry. My post just echos what the other replies said about any kind of making out (eg kissing, touching) could lead to an HPV infection. Infections can start in the mouth through kissing and no one would be any the wiser until it became a genital infection through oral as an example for you.
And because HPV testing is still relatively new you might have been positive at a previous point in your marriage, long before this rocky time, and just not known it.
I hope things get better for your marriage and that your health stays well and this HPV result leads to nothing x
Thank you so much!!
Stephe, I’m sure you mean well but your response to Amber is very blunt. I’m sorry if you have had experiences that have contributed to how you feel about Amber’s situation but to myself and other posters it is not obvious her partner has been with someone else since they got married based on the evidence.
There is documented evidence in academic studies of male and female virgins with high risk HPV either in their privates, their mouth or both.
For example:
“Detection of HPV types was seen in nearly half of this closely followed cohort of 22 subjects before first vaginal sex. Ten subjects (45.5%) had HPV detected before first coitus; 7 of these 10 subjects had the same HPV type detected a second time.”
For reference there were 29 types of HPV infections amongst those 10, 16 of which were high risk types of HPV that would show up on a smear. These teens had not had sex but had other sexual behaviours eg making out, touching etc.
That study didn’t test oral samples but in the pre vaccination days it was about 5-10% of teens had oral HPV, although it seemed to vary as one study “eldest cohort (12 to 17 years, 26.3%)” had high risk HPV positivity. It doesn’t say in that study who were virgins and who weren’t but weirdly the age group below had even higher HPV rates!
For what it’s worth, I have no skin in this game. I don’t know Amber or her husband. I hope the comments and numbers can help Amber understand her situation better.
The book The Gynae Geek by Dr Anita Mitra on page 140 says that “finding out you have HPV doesn’t mean your partner is cheating on you”. She also writes “HPV is all over the place. It is in our environment and all over our skin“ and “The virus is everywhere, so even being in an exclusive relationship with one person for the rest of your life cannot prevent you from getting it”. Hope that helps to reassure both you and your husband that it is possible for a couple who were both virgins to contract HPV. Best of luck.
Well it depends which HPV it is. There are around 300+ strand of hpv. Yes! Its that common.
If you have hpv e6/e7 or hpv 16 or 18 then yes its transferred through intercourse only- not through touching, not through kissing, not through oral sex. Either the di** had hpv or the vagina had hpv that came into contact with each other. if they say anything else, they are lying.
Is he cheating? Are you cheating? Not necessarily, but he/you definitely got it from having sex with someone infected with hpv. The thing is it could have been anytime before marriage too. If you get hpv, it stays, your immunity clears it. But it could stay dormant and then just activate again. Theres no way to tell at what time of your sex life you got hpv.
I would suggest, dont waste your time thinking about these things and get to work to rem9ve it from your body. If you get to the point of getting your cervix chopped off or even the whole uterus chopped off, all these things will seem insignificant.
You are married now, you should trust your partner. Or atleast give him the benefit of doubt.
Hi Alabamaalligator
You’ve written a very nice reply to Amber and I agree that Amber should focus on her health.
However, I must say that some of your information is not what I understand from scientific papers
HPV E6/E7 is not a strain of HPV like 16/18. Any strain of High risk HPV (there are about 14) can produce E6/E7. These are proteins that come from a persistent infection and it is these proteins that some HPV tests use to detect
High risk strains can be passed by kissing, oral sex, touching and intercourse. They have found that some people with head and neck cancer are HPV positive and exhibit the E6/E7 proteins when they are tested. As HPV is a localised infection this positivity for E6/E7 can only come from kissing and/or oral sex.
Thank you all so very much for your responses! I do appreciate your time and care. I did speak with my spouse who states he has never cheated and also was apologetic as though no penetration he did mess around with other girls prior to us and probably contracted it. Or I got it off some surface. Thank you all again
