Positive for hpv and partner cheated

I’m a new user and don’t know how to start I chat up :face_with_diagonal_mouth:
Hi, I recently had my smear done and it came back with HPV positive. today I got a call from the nurse to see if I had my results through. I was unsure what this really meant until she told me it was a sexually transmitted virus. I’ve had the same partner for six years. But over Christmas this year I found out he was cheating on me. After going through this with him going back-and-forth, I decided to give it a go and forgive him. I know I’m stupid for giving him another chance!
He told me that he did not sleep with this woman but had oral sex. Now the results have come through it’s opened another can of worms. I’ve had smears since I have been with him and this has never come up before. So now I’m thinking he did have sex with her and he is to blame for this virus. Does this mean he has it and got it from this other woman? As I can’t say, this would just develop on its own? Any advise would be much appreciated x

Sorry you’re going through this. I hadn’t heard of hpv until I was diagnosed and although it is a sexualky transmitted disease, it can lay dormant and not be active enough to show in smears. I think it’s only 5 years that nhs have been screening for hpv, previously it was just for cell changes. Knowing that hpv is present means that any cell changes are picked up. Hpv can be active and not create cell changes, or active and cause cell changes or dormant and not show up on smear at all (when it’s dormant it’s nt active so won’t be doing any harm)

So you could have had hpv before you even met your partner, he could have given it to you years ago there sjust no precise science unfortunately.

My fiancé and I had the same conversation when I was diagnosed we’ve been together 6 years but I’ve not had a smear in that time (I stupidly waited 9 years for my smear) I was positive he hadn’t cheated and it lead me to asking more questions of my friend who’s a sexual health nurse and the above is the info she gave me.

Like I said there’s no certain answers as to how you got it or who from, the only thing you can do is focus on the now xxxx

1 Like

I tested positive for HPV 3 years ago and diagnosed with cervical cancer in March this year.

I’ve been with my husband for 30 years and am pretty confident for various reasons he’s not cheated on me.

Although it’s termed as a sexually transmitted disease it can lay dormant for years and 80% of population will get it at some point

I know this probably doesn’t stop you worrying but hope it helps a little x

4 Likes

Hi Lisajay. Do you mind be asking but did you not have any treatment like LLETZ the first or second year you had HPV?

It’s cool - no I was just put onto annual smears. Smear in 3rd year come back with abnormal cells - I then had a LLETZ but needed hysterectomy afterwards anyway

Thank you for answering, very worried and scared as going for colposcopy soon for the first time with boarder line and HPV and don’t want them to just leave it till it’s gets to late😩 Hope your doing well now xx