Hpv positive while married

Im 62 years old and been married 39 years i recently had my smear test and the results said im hpv positive and its an sti i have to go back in 12 months for a smear. I have certainly never cheated on my hubby but about20years ago i suspected he was having an affair with a colleague which he strenuously denied but i always had my doubts anyway after lots of arguments and talking n him promising never to socialize with them from work we got back on track with our marriage and everythings been fine until i got this diagnosis and that painful time has come back and opened old wounds he still swears nothing sexual happened between them n i just dont know whether i trust him anymore i also realize how by always having my smears ive never missed one in all my years yet it shows up now which is confusing to say the least im not scared of cc at the moment as i know the cells are dormant n i will have whatever treatment is required its my marriage is suffering at the moment n i dont know what to think sorry about rambling on n the long post *

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Hi Polly

The thing about HPV is that it can lie dormant in the body for many years, maybe decades, until it reactivates for some reason or another and then has the potential to cause problems. It’s very possible you and/or your husband acquired the virus before you met one another - it’s absurdly easy to catch even with non-penetrative sexual contact and can even be passed on via sex toys and probably hands.

It’s only in very recent times that cervical samples have been routinely checked for HPV. Previously, HPV testing was only carried out on samples which had abnormal cells and before that the technology didn’t exist for HPV testing. So it’s possible you might have tested postive for HPV a long time ago had HPV primary screening been in place; if that was the case the fact your cervix is still healthy means your immune system dealt with the virus and rendered it dormant at the time

The important thing here is your health and your HPV positive result means you will be closely monitored which will significantly reduce your chance of cervical cancer.

Congratulate yourself for having the sense to keep up to date with your smears. I’m just a few years older than you and on the basis of always having normal smear results decided I could safely stop getting tested at the age of 50y only to be diagnosed with stage 2 cervical cancer age 60y.

39 years of marriage - wow! If I were you I’d give hubbie a hug (in a while?) and be thankful for the technology that enables the NHS to prevent cervical cancer better than ever. I hope that doesn’t sound a bit flippant as I know old wounds can be tricky; testing positive for HPV causes a lot of anxiety as numerous posts on this forum testify - there’s a huge lack of education around the subject of HPV which isn’t worth risking a marriage for.



Thank you so much for your reply i foubd it a great confort to read n yes i must give my head a wobble n thank my lucky stars that the hpv virus is dormant n will be monitored not at all are you flippant with my feelings i think its the shock of the results n i wouldnt throw my marriage away on this . Jazza i hope you are ok in your stage 2 diagnosis n everything is goibg well for you now i wish you all the luck in the world and once again thank you for taking the time to reply its much appreciated x

I realise I wrote to you a few hours ago but forgot to press reply! I see Jazza has replied earlier and said beautifully everything I could have. HPV is so common that it really should NOT be labelled as an STI. It makes ladies with perfectly happy relationships panic and worry, especially as it has only recently been tested for - so you probably never heard mention of it in your previous smears.

The main thing is that you don’t have abnormal cells, and congratulations on having been married for 39 years! Thank goodness for the testing service - sometimes it lets us down (as it did me) but for most people it is - literally - a life saver. X


Oh my goodness, this could be my story!!
I’m 55 and just tested positive for hpv, I suspected my husband of having an affair with a work colleague a few years ago, he denied it but I was never sure, my feelings towards him definitely changed.
Now this has happened and it’s totally thrown me all over again :weary::weary::weary: