Positive experience

Hi ladies,

I always said that I would put my experience on here as I literally trawled through every single post last year trying to find some hope haha.

In short last year I had my first abnormal smear and colposcopy. It was a horrible experience for various reasons and basically traumatised me into being petrified about everything and anything to do with this issue. But it was only cin1 and they left me to be monitored every 12 months. 

12 months came and went and my smear came back as cin2 which triggered me hard, thankfully since finding out and being referred to colposcopy it was less than a week hallelujah. But that 6 days was the worst with anxiety and pure fear. I am terrible with procedures, I found the biopsy terrible last year and was entertaining all sorts of ideas. 
anyway today I went in for my colposcopy and said to the lady if she could do treament today then I'd rather that (I have not been coping with all of the worry and anxiety at all). 
so she had a look and said yeah ok we could do LLETZ today. I was an emotional wreck but agreed. Literally expecting the worst in terms of pain, panic, fainting, crying etc. I told the nurses I didn't think I would cope and they were phenomenally amazing. They said the worst part would be the local anaesthetic (I always thought I'd need GA because of how much of a wreck I am). Anyway I was lying there holding nurses hand, rubbing my head, shaking my legs saying 'omg I can't do it' and then she said ok the local is done. And I actually didn't feel it really at all (so I was a bit like oh ok, that was ok lol). Then I worked myself up again for the actual procedure (queue head rubbing and shaking). Then just as I braced myself for the worst- she had already done it. 
I guess one good thing is being worked up into a frenzy is a very big distraction haha! 
Then I was anxious of being in pain ( my sis told me it was so painful like labour pains...thanks sis) but I'm home now, had the procedure at 9.30- it's 4.30 now and so far nothing at all. 
so in short if your a wreck like me, just know you can do it. When I say it was nothing, the worst part was my crippling fear. 
You can absolutely do it 

ALSO: Just to say, take painkillers half hour before you go in. I think it really helped me psychologically and I'm sure physically too.