Hi there,
I’m in dire need of some sort of support/advice literally anything that can help me as I am in a bad place. This is definitely not for the faint hearted as my experience is 1 in a million.
November last year I had a smear test done which I got results in January to say I had high risk HPV and abnormal cells. I then received an appointment for colposcopy the following day. I didn’t have a clue what this all meant and spoke to my GP who said I had precancerous cells and needed to have a check up. I wasn’t booked in for treatment and I felt confident going to my appointment.
Now, I went to my appointment 4 days ago. While I was there I was told that the precancerous cells have spread into my birth canal and they asked if I would get treatment done while I was already there so I didn’t have to travel over an hour again to get it done. So I said yes as it made sense. Well they did the LLETZ treatment which started off well but turned into a nightmare pretty quickly. They hit a vein and struggled to stop the bleeding, 2 doctor’s attempted to stop the bleeding by this time I could feel the heat on my cervix as the freeze was wearing off. Luckily they managed to fix me and an hour later I was on the train home. Feeling absolutely terrified after my experience.
While on the train home I started to bleed, what seemed to be a heavy period until it began to soak through my pad and jeans. I was absolutely mortified and in complete panic as I had 40 mins until I got home. I got home and got washed and changed when I had a God almighty gush of blood which would not stop. I called 999 instantly and waited 3 and a half hours for an ambulance to take me to hospital which was out of town and I had no other way of getting there. Fast forward, I was left bleeding out for 8 hours before even getting to the hospital to which I was now passing 20+ golf ball sized blood clots with each gush. Then followed by another 9 hours of doctor’s trying different methods of trying to stop the bleeding before I ended up going into shock with the blood loss and given 2 blood transfusions and emergency surgery.
Now I have to wait for my biopsy results which could take up to 6 weeks and was told I will probably need more treatment! Well I am beyond frightened, scared etc. I am having nightmares after my ordeal. I have 4 kids and my youngest is 5 months old. I really don’t know what to do or think!
What you have suffered is dreadful - and only 4 days ago. You must feel awful and terrified of what else has to be done. In short, you’ve been traumatised. Please contact your GP. They need to know what you’ve been through and give you some support. There may be an issue of negligence involved if you were not prepared properly and the treatment should have been postponed and done under proper surgical conditions, probably with a GA, so that this trauma would not have happened.
Please also give the helpline on Jo’s Trust a call. You really do need someone to help process what has happened to you. X
Thankyou so much for replying, I have no words how I feel to hear from you. I’m in a dark place. There is definitely negligence on a few accounts. When getting the colposcopy done they were using new equipment which they asked for my consent to use on me for the first time. I agreed to this but during the treatment the equipment would wander off to the right and left the doctor working blind. A few times the doctors would mention they couldn’t see anything on the screen due to the equipment moving again which is when they hit the vein on my cervix. Later on that night after 12 hours of bleeding out, the doctor at the hospital had already tried 2 attempts to stop the bleeding but the third time the packed my cervix with bandage and sent me to my room to rest. An hour later I went into shock due to the blood/clots being trapped because the bandages were stuck. They had 4 doctors in trying to get it all out and rushed me to surgery. They should of done that at the start, I was bleeding out for 18 hours before my surgery with no pain relief other than gas and air when they were trying to stop the bleeding.
I will be calling my doctor tomorrow morning. I can barely walk, I can’t pick my kids up without nearly fainting. I’m in such a bad place crying doesn’t feel like it’s enough
Absolutely shocking, Hetty. They must let you speak to your doctor, and I really hope they will take this further as this should never have happened to you. Please let friends and family know that you need help with the babies - you have had a physical as well as emotional trauma. Please let us know how things progress. We are thinking of you. Xx
Hi jack’s, I wanted to update you and let you know that I spoke with my doctor today who is prescribing me medication to help me sleep as my night terrors are awful. He is also getting me a councilor who I can speak with. I only spoke of a few of the incidents and he he was mortified. Especially when my 5 month old son was neglected by the hospital as he has allergies and can only have breast milk. They said pediatricians will help feed him and no one did. He was left crying for 6 hours absolutely starving while I begged them to lete feed him but they said no. It’s beyond words how to describe how I am feeling right now xx
I’m so glad you spoke to your doctor but sorry to hear about how your baby was treated (or not treated) too. It sounds to me like a case of negligence at so many levels. I wonder whether a letter to your MP might be in order? There is also the Citizen’s Advice Bureau, who might be able to give you an indication of whether there is anything you can do in terms of the hospital who cut your blood vessel and sent you home with that extraordinary bleeding. https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/
SO glad you are going to get a counsellor and something to help you sleep. You should never have been put through this. X
Hi Hetty,
I just wanted to say I’ve had a similar experience bleeding out with huge blood clots and passed out over and over on the bathroom floor - witnessed by my daughter! This was last October (Halloween! Day before my treatment was due to start) and we have both been terribly traumatised by what happened. I will say though it has got easier over time for both of us in terms of the trauma but I am on a waiting list for counselling and my daughter has been receiving support, too. I’ve had only 1 dream recently about it, whereas when it first happened I was having nightmares regularly and waking crying so I really know how you feel and I’m terribly sorry you’ve had to go through what you have.
It sounds like so many people have failed you leading to this happening. I would say perhaps writing it all down and storing it away whilst you take some time for yourself to process things would be a good option. Then if you decide you want to address the failings later on, it’s all in writing. Trauma tends to make us block things out a lot of the time and our memory of specific details can be blurry, that’s why I suggested to write It down.
The most important thing you can do right now is self love and care. Lots of reassurance from family/friends too. Here if you need a chat anytime xx
Hi Sophie,
Knowing the trauma you have been through too my heart breaks for you and your daughter! That would of been horrific for her to witness and for you to go through, I can’t even imagine how she felt or still feels now! How are you coping now? I’m glad she is getting support and I really hope you can get support soon. You should of been pushed forward as the whole experience is a living nightmare! I’m currently on antihistamines to help me sleep at night as I’m breastfeeding my 5 month old so it’s safe for him too. I spoke with my health visitor yesterday so luckily she is going to give me support until I get counseling but there are really no words to describe the feelings. I have panic attacks when I wake up, if I stand up from sitting down or even go to the bathroom constantly thinking it’s going to happen again but more the fact if it did I wouldn’t survive it again after the care I received. Luckily my 2 year old was with my gran so she wasn’t there to see it. I’m going to take some time today and write it all down because I am slowly trying to block it all out xx
I found writing it all down helps me because I feel I’m able to process it better and think more rationally about what has happened. I really wish I could make it go away for you but the best I can tell you is that time is a healer and it does get easier. I was the same every time I went to the toilet , every time I woke up etc … because I also had lots of heavy discharge i constantly thought it was blood again! I still think about it at least once every day but I don’t have panic attacks any more and it’s more a passing thought than worry.
You can speak with your GP and say you want a 2nd opinion and ask to be referred to a different trust if you feel the one you’re under shouldn’t be treating you, which I wouldn’t want them to be!
Biggest of hugs at this horrendous time. Remember our brains always think irrationally when we go through trauma and make us assume the worst when it’s often never the case… I.e it happening again 
Sophie xx
Just wanted to send my thoughts to you with your experience as mine was similar although they ended up cautetising me to stop the bleeding. I know what you mean about the feeling of trauma/terror, it was the uncontrollable shaking realising you’re going into shock which really affected me.
I hope you’ve had your results or will get them soon, am awaiting mine too. Best wishes
