I went for smear test on 16th Sep, this was my first ever abnormal smear and its thrown me a bit. They said its CIN2 with HPV. I feel so well apart from anxiety about what the future holds.
I know where I got the HPV, and I want to kill him. I just can’t cope with the fact that I’ve been referred as urgent, have my colposcopy on the 12th (this Wednesday). Ive just got a new job, everything has been going really well for me and now this! I can’t stop thinking about the possibility of cancer, I have a real health neurosis because I’ve watched people die in the past. I’m trying to stay positive, overall im doing ok on the face of things and I’m a stoic believer in ‘don’t cry in front of the kids’.
I know I’m overreacting but when I’m alone and I’ve got time on my hands, all I can imagine is having to break devastating news to my little boy and having to take time off from the job I love for gruelling treatments.
I literally never ever want to have sex ever again or a relationship, I am the second of my ex’s notches on his bedpost to have a scare of this type, I trusted him and look what happened!
Also I suppose I’ve never been in this situation so I don’t know what to expect. Does anyone have any advice for me?
Thanks, Ali x
Hi Ali,
Really sorry to hear about your abnormal smear and I hope you've seen from others posts that it's very normal to recieve an abnormal smear and very unlikley for it to be cancer. The smear test is there for a reason to show up cell changes that may or may not slowly develop into something serious. I really worried when I recieved my smear test results but all you can do is attend the appointments and complete any treatment you might need.
There are many ways to remove the cells and it's unlikely you'll have to spend much time away from work- even having a cone biopsy I was hope for a few days. Then it's really important to stay healthy (I have always been relitively fit and healthy) but if you smoke- stop, try not to drink too much, get more excerise and eat lots of greens (I took shiitake mushroom extract for 6months - there's no proof this works but there has been small trials) this will hopefully help you shift the hpv virus.(most people will get hpv in there lifetime- unless you've had the vacine)
Good luck with everything, and however hard it is try not to worry.
/Hannah
2013 - first smear , Clear (UK)
....moved to sweden
2014 - second smear, didnt recieve results but later discovered to be CIN1
2015 april - noticed bleeding after sex, smear test and coloposcopy biopsy
2015 may - results extensive CIN 2 and 3, recommened for cone biopsy
2015 august - Cone biopsy
2016 feb - all clear but took a smear, small biopsy
2016 march - all still clear and follow up in one year
