I'm sorry you found your smear uncomfortable. One thing you can ask for at smears (or even the colposcopy) is a smaller speculum if this would help. I find the normal size ones very painful and now ask for smaller ones, as I didn't know for a long time that speculums come in different sizes. I just thought I'd mention it in case this is helpful.
I do appreciate how worrying all this is. You'll have been referred to colposcopy because your result showed HPV not because the cells are borderline. It's all to do with the HPV testing they are now doing. A couple of years back if you had one borderline smear they would most likely have repeated the smear in six months. Borderline changes are the very earliest changes in cells and in most cases they go back to normal. It's because of the HPV positive that they'll take a look at you with the colposcope and possibly take a biopsy. It's all part of something called HPV triage and there is more info the NHS cervical screening website if you want to read more.
Having an abnormal result is frightening, I do understand your feelings on that, and I think that waiting for tests and results is one of the hardest parts. The important thing is that you had your smear and these cell changes have been caught really early.
Hope all geoes well with your appointment and take care x