Hi all - i’m new to this forum and honestly writing this up to help process how I’m currently feeling.
I’ve just received my result today that i’ve got to go for another colposcopy (1st smear i had at 25 i got HPV and ‘minor’ abnormalities in cells) because my HPV hasn’t cleared up.
I was really, really hoping this time round my body would have dealt with it, and i am just feeling all sorts of emotions currently. In short although it can never be proven who/how you acquire this from, i had always been sensible with relationships, never done anything outside of commitmed and longterm ones and at that point in time, i was in a committed relationship a few years back although i found in the end that only went one way in terms of the commitment and my ex partner at that point in time had lied to me about his history.
Following the breakdown of that relationship i had my first smear at 25 and thats when i had my HPV and abnormal cell result along with a colposcopy, it was rather traumatic due to the circumstances.
3 years down the line, i now find myself having to go for another examination and those old feelings of blaming myself for ‘not being responsible enough’, feeling ‘dirty’ etc have reared their ugly head, but especially now at a point where i felt safe in a new, truly committed relationship with a fantastic partner, i just feel defeated in a sense because i’m at the point where future things like considering starting a family and such are coming into play, and whilst my partner knows everything i went through and is so supportive and understanding, i am still worrying about my health. I am deeply concerned how this will play out, is it an endless cycle of back and fourth yearly smears etc… if anyone has any advice from a similar situation with 3x HPV positive results etc, it’d be greatly appreciated. Thank you
Hi! I don’t have much advice but just wanted to say I’m in a similar situation with 3x positive HPV results, and I have my first colposcopy on Friday which I’m quite worried about! I’m also blaming myself and regretting my last (unhealthy) relationship, as that’s probably where I got the HPV from - but of course I’ll never know.
Sending lots of love and strength - it’s all so mentally exhausting!
I’m sorry to hear you’re going through a similar situation also, having had a colposcopy myself my advice would do your best to be relaxed, the staff are so supportive, and one thought that did help me through it was ‘at least i’m being checked’ because that is the most important thing. It’s scary and intimidating having to go for all these checks yearly, get sent for the further examinations, but honestly looking at it from that perspective did personally help me going into it.
Is there anyone as well who might be able to accompany you to wait till your appointment is done? That way you have some support if you need it, that can also really help!
Thank you so much for the well wishes too, honestly it is so nerve wracking, and trying to avoid falling into that mindset of blame and despair about how you ended up with it etc is difficult at times, keep strong and when you go into your colposcopy, don’t be worried about asking questions - ask away, because they’ll be able to help or at least point you in a direction to someone who can, best wishes to you & stay strong, goodluck! X
Thank you, that’s some really good advice! I think I’m just afraid of the unknown really but I’m almost looking forward to getting it out of the way now. And then going forward I suppose it’s a case of trying to shift this HPV - there seems to be some good advice on these forums about supplements etc that may be effective.
